My best friend and I are having sex but we can't date and its getting awkward?

[saraah93]

I met this guy at college. We became good friends and we admit that we are like each others best friends. We recently started having sex (well, not sex sex but sexual stuff, I dont want to lose my virginity right now). This guy says he finds me really hot and pretty and he keeps throwing compliments throughout the day but it troubles me that he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend so far. The other day I asked for some (small) help from him and he jokingly refused to do it saying he is not my boyfriend. Since then, I have been wondering, is it even worth having sex with this guy? We mostly act like a couple these days but he chooses his own convenience. If other girls ask him if we are a couple he refuses to tell anything. I understand we are not a couple and we have collectively decided not to disclose anything to the world, but it kind of feels weird. He keeps saying that he likes me, I genuinely feel he does but he will not go further and ask me out to be his girlfriend. Possible reason could be that I said we can only be friends with benefits in the beginning because I didn't want anything serious. He is quite helpful and nice as a person but I believe an individual's body is too important to sleep with just anyone who can't have the courage to go for something serious. Interestingly, we are so close and close that everyone thinks that we are dating. He checks out other college girls (not in front of me), following them on instagram and liking their photos, it kind of hurts me because I dont want others to think that though he is dating me, he is so much into other girls. Should I continue sleeping with him? I really dont want to sleep with a best friend, but I dont want to lose him. Sex makes things interesting between us and I dont want to make things boring between us.

[1derweye]

Good Morrow saraah
You've provided a very helpful amount of information! What I interpret comes from a background of fascination with & observation of Human Nature. But I claim no authority. Earlier in my life, I denied many of my own deductions born from common sense and witness to sad stories. I believe this is a facet we have in common saraah. You seem optimistic and conscientious. Those are excellent qualities for facilitating your continuing education! But they can become weaknesses to exploit, if you fall short of applying a brutal self-honesty and focus to YOUR own needs and goals.
I detect several Red flags in your friends character, not just behavior. Reading this, try to recall if a pinkish scrap of cloth may have briefly wafted by, in some obscure corner of your conscious, K?
So, he jokingly refused to help you. That's not funny. Especially for the excuse he used. He just tested your susceptibility to being manipulated. His thoughts, thinly veiled in a context of humor, are "you're not giving me what I want. Why should I reciprocate?" If he refused, then helped you, maybe it would be barely amusing.
Using this shallow bargaining in a relationship, under any pretext, is bad news. Keeping it amicable, it's doesn't SEEM harmful. There's no reason to get upset-TO SLOWLY BEING TRAINED TO YIELD TO HIS WHIMS and ignore your own conscious! It's all in the name of joking, after all!
Add this: He'll never publicly display any kind of bond with you+tells you just enough to keep you tucked off to the side+keeping his options open Insta-following Girls he likes the photo of+your continuing to give to him on his terms+while he increasingly devalues your needs=?
Guys that end-up blowing-off commitments, no matter how sacred the vow, living irresponsibly, in a usually-deteriorating series of failed relationships, are incapable of empathy & with little or no respect for Women, all have their origins in conducting themselves exactly like the fool you described.
It's evident in the manner in which you wrote your own question.
Your conscious is speaking to you saraah. Accept in advance that some of what it has to say will hurt you. Truth does that to ruffle the feathers you didn't know you had. Distance yourself from the blaring cacophony of being near this Guy. Toughen-up! When he detects a sign of withdrawal, he'll toss you something to fool yourself with.
Find the quiet to listen to only what you are telling yourself!
Then preen those feathers. You'll need em'

[saraah93]

That is definitely a very helpful point of view. Life is too short to be waste my feelings for guys like these, I should focus on my education and more deserving people (if I find some). Thank you!

[1derweye]

It was my pleasure saraah! You're refreshingly altruistic. A good Heart. With so much to give, it's OK to be a little selfish with it, at this juncture of your life. I know learning to nourish yourself first, is counter-intuitive to some of the values you were raised with. From now on... it is your responsibility to ensure you become stronger, wiser and engaged in passion you can build your life upon... independently! Sure, you'll get lonely. But the Woman you become will thank you for the rest of your life! When you know how to live your own life, then a relationship will only add more to it. The days of a relationship taking from your life... are OUTTA HERE!!! HELL YA! HAST LA VISTA, BABY! AND THE HORSE THEY RODE IN ON! Give em' a swift kick in the Ass for me, saraah! Now young Lady, you've got some new appendages that need stretching, doncha? Get on it.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the most self contradicting posts Iv read in a long time. Having sex but you're still a virgin. Well done lol. I wouldn't give him anything anymore until you know if you're his girlfriend or not. I'd play it cool and not be so available but if you are happy as you are being a booty call then don't stress it too much. You're young do what makes you happy

[Kjc78]

So your just blowing him?

[Anonymous]

Just tell him how u feel an ask him out