Why does my man who has a sexy woman at home stare at women on the streets, hunting for them but I dress up sexy and he stares at the tv?

Why should I tolerate not being looked at by my man with lust, like he so willingly does for other women? I dress in sexy lingerie or role playing outfits for him at least once a week and when I walk in the room it's a fake 2 second look I get from him ( like " yay, I'm gonna get my dick sucked") I get up to make us a cocktail and turn to see if he's looking at my ass or garter or legs and he NEVER is. He's starting at the t. v or off in space. All he did for the first two plus years of our relationship was tell me how hot some other woman in his life was, in her lingerie, how he couldn't take his eyes off her. Or going out and he's hunting for women to stare at on the streets or restaurants. How he's almost crashed the car to take double takes of other women. How he spent almost a year telling me a woman was like a sister to him yet I find out when she was around he always had his camera ready to take pictures of her tits and ass! He also spent almost a year ( until he was caught) telling women he was lonely and single then telling his friends and family when I got upset that I was, nuts, crazy, stupid, delusional. And that it was me that was the problem instead of the truth, that it was him. Or that had binoculars out for the first year of us so he could check out women from our living room. He rarely takes me out and when he does, its other men that have lustful eyes for me ( women too) yet when I follow his gaze it's never on me. He spent years telling me how much he loves lingerie and sexy outfits and how hot she was and she was. Yet we go out for Halloween and I'm sexy ( and I know it) as do others in the room yet on the way home we're hot and bothered and he jumps on Facebook instead of me dressed just like he likes. Am I wasting my time, my self esteem, self worth on this crap or should I go back to a relationship with a man that looks at me like I'm candy? LIKE EVERY MAN I've ever been with or should I stay with a man that doesn't look at me unless I degrade myself and ask him to or that try's so hard not to oggle other women around me but never have I caugh ogling me with lust?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • F*&k this guy and I don't mean have sex with him. I mean leave him. He finds every other woman attractive but not the woman he supossedly loves. I don't think things well ever change, guys like this have their head too far up their ass that they can't see what's in front of him. You 're obviously attractive since every other guy loved what they saw so why are you staying with this guy when you could do so, so much better? This is taking a toll on your self esteem and you need to just leave. You say it has been from the beginning, it's not going to get any better.

Most Helpful Guys

  • well it sounds to me like you tolerated it to begin with so now he doesn't feel like he's doing anything wrong since he's doing exactly like he's done in the past

    but you can address the matter. explain to him, in a calm kind way, how his actions make you feel.

  • Same reason why if you work in a chocolate factory after a while you want to eat anything but chocolate most of the time. It's just an extreme manifestation of the Coolidge effect.

    https://www.heretical.com/wilson/coolidge.html

    • That's a two way street! I'd agree but this has been since the beginning!

    • The Coolidge effect is also true for women but to a much much lesser degree. Some guys also seem to treat the woman they have a relationship like their mother or something. To resent her for dominating or making demands on them or controlling their sexuality. That's the only other thing i can think of.

    • Sad thing is your right. Instead of the sexy, crazy woman I am I'm with a man that kisses me on the forehead like his mother. But the Coolidge effect part I think your off. I think men use that as an excuse to oggle and the truth is women enjoy eye candy just as much! Just like sex get boring for them too!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Taking you for granted is my guess. Sorry. Not sure how to fix it. I'd find a good couple's therapist.

  • Okey men are like this, but first, are you sure you are sexy? Because if not, it would explain his behavior. Dont take it as doubt, but it is difficult to answer without knowing how do you look.

    • I'm sure! Since he's met me we have couples trying to pick me up. that's new to him, not me. Guys half my age ask him if we could 3 some. Men try to pick me up in front of him as do women. I look around and others eyes are on me just not my mans eyes!

    • I'm 5"7 almost all leg. Weigh 120 lbs. I'm a c cup. Green eyes, hi cheekbones, bodies toned since I have a very physical job. I was a model for years!

    • His friends meet me and say " she's pretty"

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  • He's an idiot for not appreciating what's in front of him

  • The good times

  • He's being respectful