Almost cheated on my girlfriend. Should I confess or keep quiet?

[Anonymous]

I recently had an argument with my girlfriend because I thought she was cheating on me. I decided to "don't get mad, get even", so I met up this other woman for sex, but couldn't go through with it because all I could see was my girlfriend crying if/when she found out. I care about her but was angry with her and nearly made a stupid mistake. I then told the other woman why I didn't want to follow through, and she said she respects my honesty and understands, and would still like to be my friend. The problem is, my conscious is killing me because of my (near) infidelity. Should I tell her what I (almost) did, or should I just bear that burden and let my conscious continue to eat me up as punishment?

[musicbrain5]

If being honest is something important to you, then confess to her. Be prepared for the same kind of reaction she would have as though you actually cheated. Personally, I'd be upset that he thought about it and actually met up with another woman with the intention of cheating.

She may not react badly though. But I think it's important to be honest in the end so that you can figure out a way to move forward from this. I don't know how well that would work for you since you don't trust her (thinking that she cheated on you) and she's not going to trust you after finding out about this. If she doesn't find out from you, she might find out from someone else and that's going to be worse.

I'd advise against being friends with the other woman, as it's always going to remind you of what almost happened. There's also the risk that she go behind your back and tell your girlfriend everything.

[Reddr]

Dude you didn't do anything. There's nothing to tell. You took the test: you didn't cheat: you passed. Telling her is pretty damn selfish and quite frankly sabbatoging your relationship. So ask yourself, do you want to actually be in that relationship or do you want out and are looking for an excuse?

[Asker]

I actually want to be in this relationship. I feel connected with this woman. Maybe I should bring it up casually, and make it seem like I did it to a past girlfriend years ago, gauge her reaction, then go from there...

[Reddr]

Why? Would you tell her you almost had pizza for lunch but then decided to go with a hamburger?

[Reddr]

The answer is no. You didn't eat the pizza, thus it doesn't exist and it would be a waste of time to mention it. You got caught up in your emotions and considered something. Then you regained your sanity, made the decision not to cheat. Thus it never happened. Mentioning it is a waste of time. It simply doesn't exist. You are looking for 3 things by telling your girlfriend: 1) To hurt her by telling her you didn't trust her enough so you thought about cheating. 2) A pat on the back for making the right decision. 3) Release from this guilt you are feeling. What do all 3 of those have in common? They are selfish. Your girlfriend gains no benefit from you telling her.

[Asker]

You're absolutely right. Say no more. I'm not going to tell her. Thank you very much.

[moistycakes]

Well if it's really affecting you I would tell her. However, if you be prepared because she may not want to continue dating you...

[nightskycat]

I would not be that other lady's friend and you didn't cheat so what exactly do you want to tell your girlfriend and what exactly is bothering you?
If your looking for some excuse to end your relationship with your girlfriend, then go ahead and tell her because that will most likely be the end of it

[AustinMan]

Don't say a damn word!! Just deal with your guilt and don't do it again.

[aficionado]

Since you 'almost' cheated, you don't have to confess. But if you do confess, your relationship will likely end.

Just do what you feel is right. My suggestion would be, don't confess.

[lePoivre]

If telling her would make you feel better, tell her.

[AzureGirl]

If it'll make you feel better then yes. Don't bottle up things that affect you negatively.

[JuicyBrain]

Shut your mouth. You did nothing. You thought about doing it and didn't do it. What's to tell? All you will do is hurt her for no good reason.

[dsmbbmsc]

just think like this: if it was the other way around, would you want her to tell you?

[Mesonfielde]

I would just take that to the grave

[zombiebabe]

just tell her about it

[psychomonkey]

I wouldn't tell her cause you are still friends with the woman but since you are feeling guilty then tell her.

[Marstalk]

I would confess, because there is a chance it could come out later in a bad situation.

[DamnCurtis]

You learnt Ya lesson. Just forget about it, we all make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

You base your relationship off of many things but the one thing that's very important in a relationship is honesty. I'd tell her.

[Anonymous]

if you don't Ima tell her