Guys, would you feel this way about a vibrator?

[Anonymous]

I proposed getting a vibrator to my boyfriend so that I could enjoy sex as much as he does, but he said the idea makes him feel weird. He says that he's had sex with a girlfriend who used toys and it didn't feel right to him because it felt like the toy was doing all the work; that he was just an extra part to it that wasn't necessary. He would rather me be able to cum with just him, but it hasn't happened in the year we've been together. He said he would read some articles on how to give me more in bed and practice foreplay more (which so far he hasn't made much of an improvement, but he is taking a little more time with me than he used to. Baby steps!), which I'm glad for, but the way he rubs my clit feels so uncomfortable that I have to tell him to stop or push his hand away. I feel gross touching myself when we're getting intimate too, so I told him that we should try the vibrator if things don't improve within the next month or so. The one I'm looking at is only $8 and the size and shape of a lipstick tube. So guys, if your girlfriend said she wanted to get a vibrator or some other toy for the same reasons I gave, would you feel the same way or different?

[SmoMan]

I think you need more than just baby steps if you want to get the kind of sex you should behaving before your sex drive lowers. Depending on the position you are in using a vibrator can be really awkward. I would suggest you get a vibrating cock ring. It can stimulate your clit while he has it on. He can even use it to push inside of you and take a rest. slowing him down but getting you closer. He can use it without having to change what he is comfortable with too much, and you can use it by yourself if you need to. Just keep in mind the types of batteries it uses.

[Asker]

I suggested a vibrating cock ring too but he doesn't like that either. Does bad sex lower sex drive?

[Asker]

Well, I guess it's not really "bad sex;" just sex that I don't enjoy as much as I feel I should.

[SmoMan]

Bad sex can lower sex drive, so can natural aging. If he is unable or unwilling to work with you on this you may be better off trying to find a guy who you are more sexually compatible with. Everyone has the right to have the kind of sex they want.

[Asker]

Hmm, that would explain a lot. I just assumed it was my birth control so now I have an appointment to get an IUD next month. Should I tell him that my lowered sex drive could be because I'm not enjoying sex as much?

[SmoMan]

It couldn't hurt. Not sure what your views are on the topic but you could also ask him about having a more open relationship and seek sexual satisfaction from another partner.

[Asker]

He would definitely not go along with that lol. I would get jealous of whoever he slept with beside me too >_>

[Anonymous]

He's just being insecure. Something like 85% of women are unable to achieve orgasm by penetration alone. Maybe if you tell him that it will make him feel better about the vibrator.

Whatever you do, don't fake orgasms. He WILL find out (we can tell) and he will never trust you again. You don't want to ruin your trust in the bedroom of all places.

[Asker]

I stopped faking them after I realized that there was no difference between penetrative and masturbative orgasms. He's my first so I've been learning about sex throughout our time together and for a while I just assumed that a lady orgasm during sex just wasn't as intense as one during masturbation. I know better now and I told him what I just wrote (but phrased it so he wasn't too offended) so now I'm a lot more honest with how I'm feeling during the act.

[Opinion Owner]

Good for you. Honest and open discussion is key. I hope you get the satisfaction you deserve.

[Opinion Owner]

By the way, if you haven't already told him you faked some orgasms... don't tell him!

[Asker]

Lol I didn't tell him I faked them, just that I thought they were more than they actually were. I had a feeling it would make him feel bad if I told him.

[Opinion Owner]

You're smart. :)

[Asker]

Thanks! You are too =)

[Peter0]

If he doesn't want to use a vibrator then he needs to go down on you after intercourse and get you off. End of story.

And dude. It's not like she masturbates with a dildo. Women use vibrators. They can't all get off from intercourse. It's the way things work. Also, let her hold the vibrator - it's a lot less trouble for both of you. And she'll be so happy your cock is inside her while she's hitting her orgasm ^_^ Sometimes the vibration will carry around and you can feel it too, which is a lot of fun.

[Asker]

Haha I like how you're having a discussion with my boyfriend in your response. He will never read this though >_> And I don't know about him going down on me afterward... We're both STD free and I'm on birth control so I let him cum inside of me. I don't think either of us are into the idea of him licking up his own jizz.

[Peter0]

All the more reason he should choose the vibrator ;)

[CptAwful]

Depends somewhat on how it's used. Are you using said toy to please yourself? Then yeah, I could understand how it would make him feel redundant. From the way your post is written, that's how it seems.

Otherwise, toys are fine. So long as I got to feel involved, I don't see an issue.

[Asker]

I'd have fun using it on him too, but yeah, I would just use it to stimulate myself more so that I feel more the way he does during sex.

[waves_skylines]

I'd be fine with it, as long as it wasn't all the time. I'd even help my girlfriend use it. All guys fear that they will get replaced by motorized toys, so you need to be mindful of that. It sounds like he might also be against toys, your best chance is to keep him involved.

[Asker]

That's what I would like to do. I'd like for him to use it on me and for me to even use it on him (I'm curious to see how it would feel on the head of his lovely bit).

[undeadRobby]

I'd be totally fine with it if my girlfriend wanted to use a vibe! Your guy just needs to accept that he's not perfect. A lot of women can't cum without good clitoral stimulation and if he can't do that for you, then you're not gonna get anywhere.
I say go for it!

[Sebastian25]

Well i have had a girlfriend that had toys and simply we made it seem like i was doing a lot by me using the toys on her! And i still ate her out even with the small things she had there as well and she loved it! She said she couldnt believe how amazing it was

[Asker]

Dang, should I worry about him feeling like he shouldn't go down on me if I get a vibe? That thought never even occurred to me! He doesn't go down on me very often to begin with, but that doesn't mean I want him to feel like he doesn't have to do it at all 😅

[Sebastian25]

Dont worry just tell him to do it i get turned on by reactions so if i can make a girl feel good it makes me turned on as fuck and it makes me better in bed :p

[Asker]

Hahaha, never has a tongue emoji been used more perfectly.

[Sebastian25]

Hahhaa true that :p hahaha but yea honestly get him to go down on you and guys like when they are told what to do sometimes i love when my girl is having so much please she pushes my face down there and like says fuck me already and shit its kinky in a way but fun

[Joe-12345]

This is probably an opinion unpopular. I think you should keep trying with have sex without anything at first. You both can make it work with orgasm together, though it seem s impossible at the moment. I think your man wants to know he can satisfy you and don’t lie to him. Keeping different things with each other and be emotionally connect and it will happen naturally. Not to say a vibrator is allowed because it can be, but don’t allow your mental state to only orgasm with a vibrator. Your man will probably be disappointed if he could not do that for you. I don’t know your relationship with him, be open an honest one another on topic. You can orgasm with just him though counter culture will say you must have a toy. Have both sure, but have each other first knowing you both can orgasm without anything.

[Frost_Byt3]

I'd feel the exact same way as your boyfriend. In my opinion his stance is reasonable. If she needs a vibrator she may as well use JUST the vibrator. What does she need my dick for?

[Asker]

I like to be connected to him in that way and it does feel nice having him inside me (usually). I love him and I love the emotional part of having sex with him, but I was hoping that having a vibrator would help give me more physical pleasure so I can actually cum and feel as good as he does while we have sex. I understand his stance entirely though and respect it, which is why I haven't gotten one yet.

[SomeJokeTeeth]

No, it's only ever the insecure people that act this way

[oldanddecrepid]

I think it is a great idea... I bought my gf's vibrator and I use it on her when we are having sex.

The way I look at it... I want her to have as much enjoyment as possible, so if she needs a little help to orgasm (s) then so be it!

[lkjhg69cum]

Hell no. Serve it up baby! I am very confident though. I am not intimidated by a plastic pecker even if it does vibrate. Haha