Sexual Relationships
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Should you dump your girlfriend if she can't orgasm?

My brother was in a relationship for 10 months until he finally broke it off. He told me it's cause his girlfriend could never orgasm and that made sex frustrating and depressing. He now has a new girlfriend and not only does she orgasm every single time they have sex, he can time it (delay ejaculation) so they both orgasm at the exact same moment. He says sex is now the most heavenly thing in his life and an essential part of his relationship, and he can't believe how he stayed so long in a relationship with the other girl. Do you think it's fait to dump a woman if she can't cum?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think that is a little shallow of him. Just because she can't attain an orgasm doesn't mean she is not worth having a relationship with her. Did he ever think it could be him not being able to get her to that stage?

    Some women have what is called a hooded clitoris meaning the sensitive end, like our penis, is not exposed to the stimulation of the shaft of the penis when it is thrust into and back in the vagina. If this is the case she would have difficulty being stimulated enough to achieve that explosive orgasm.

    Men shouldn't be that shallow. Think about her too.

  • Woman who can't have orgasm is an disadvantage, no doubt about that, but as for dumping her, I am not sure if it's so important as long as there is sex, even if he is far from great, but if this woman have other big disadvantages then I would be more willing to dump her, or not start a relationship with her at all.

    www.quickmeme.com/.../...3ce17c5e8d6668bb25d84.jpg

Most Helpful Girls

  • A lot of woman cannot orgasm during sex. I guarantee she was able to orgasm from masturbation and that maybe it was due to past experiences or his lack of knowing how to work the female body. I think it's shallow because just because someone doesn't orgasm doesn't mean sex isn't pleasurable. I don't orgasm much from sex but I still love it. Different story if they're sexual incompatible for other reasons but they should be trying new things and working together to fix it. I'd never dump a guy if he didn't orgasm, I would work my ass off to make it happen.

  • Well being in a relationship is supposed to make you happy- if her not achieving an orgasm made him unhappy no matter how much he tried and how much effort he put into even asking her then its unfortunately. A relationship is about communication and if she just physically can't and thats what boosts his confidence that he's not getting- sex can really make the other person feel inadequate if they can't achieve something, it can resort to stress, and over thinking so in the end he wasn't happy. Now he's happier and for the right reason too

    • It's not about self confidence. It's about sharing the orgasm experience with eachother, as it happens and they become one. It's about seeing her shaking with pleasure, moaning louder and louder the closer she gets to it, blood rushing to her head, and then the final destination on the road is reached and they both orgasm, dopamine rushes to both their heads, they both lay in a state of bliss in eachother's arms, sharing with one another something that nobody else can. When she doesn't orgasm it's an entirely different story, it's like she had a flat tire on the way and decided not to go at all, sex becomes a meaningless activity where there is no destination to reach, it becomes just a time waster for when they have nothing better to do.

    • It is confidence.. basically at the end of what you said he feels happy that he can please her and it makes him feel adequate. lol "It's about sharing the orgasm experience with eachother, as it happens and they become one. " I've achieved many orgasms and not all of them are at the same time.. as I don even want a chance at being pregnant.

  • I'm forever grateful to my boyfriend for not being a selfish insecure little bitch and sticking around.

    It took me years to figure myself out, but my boyfriend didn't run away, his ego didn't shatter and his penis didn't shrivel up. He understood that it was a matter of time of trial and error.

    He is a wonderful man who did everything to help me achieve it and is the first man out of previous partners to have made me orgasm.

    The first and one and only.

    This was quite the ego boost, he says.

    • congrats on your boyfriend. his brother is an ass.

    • @supernerd99 Heh, thanks. c: I think asker's brother is just insecure. He couldn't deal with the fact that he couldn't get his missus off, couldn't accept failure, so he just went for the easy way out. I don't think he had strong feelings for this girl if he dropped her over something like that.

  • I can't and my boyfriend and I have been happily together for almost 3 years. For me it's a mental block due to past trauma. But he doesn't care and loves me regardless. I personally find it a bit dumb to dump someone just for that.

    • Your poor boyfriend! I feel so sorry for him!

    • I'll tell you a secret: he doesn't care and he loves me anyway. There's more to a relationship than sex.

    • A relationship without sex is just a friendship.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

17 23

  • Please educate yourself. Statistically many, and I do mean many, woman can't orgasm the old fashioned way.

    • I'm curious, what's the new fashioned way?

    • @thewanderingme Clit/touch stimulation, oral, anal, ETC. Everyone is an individualistic and that includes what they like in bed. "Old-fashioned" means vaginal penetration--not to say that doesn't still work for some women but there are other methods.

  • She should have dumped him for not making her cum.
    What a douchebag.

  • It's really shallow to dump someone over that, if you say it that way. Lack of sexual compatibility sounds a lot more reasonable, and acceptable.

    • You are dead fish in bed too?

    • Haha, good to see you alive and well.

    • Hey, UnknownXYZ <3

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  • Not at all lol I would keep trying until I made her look like she was having a seizure. It's probably something HE isn't doing right, he shouldn't have dumped her for that

    • "made her look like she was having a seizure" Thats hot, very hot

  • That is so mean omg.. but then he probably sucks in bed so it's not a big loss for his ex..

    • Nop. Some women are just broken like that.

    • You did not seriously just say that... a woman is BROKEN because she can't cum? WTF is wrong with you?

    • @Mekkalyn what the fuck do you mean? If she can't cum then she IS broken

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  • It's probably a case of the guy just not being good enough for that lady! It's too easy to blame her when it's all a fault with the guy!

  • If it's a man to leave a woman for this kind of reason, then he is a selfish and shallow human being

    If it's a woman to leave a man for this kind of reason, well, she is allowed to do it. I mean, sex is important in a relationship and bla bla

    Serious answer: i don't know, first off we have to understand who or what is the problem

    But like i wrote i really don't know what say about it..

  • well first his new girlfriend is totally faking and you have to know that it is really rare to come vaginally so you can't hold it against us

  • uhhhhhhhhhhh he's a dick. the only important thing for him is sex... which is not really what a relationship is about

  • They were sexually incompatible. That's as good a reason as any to dump her.

  • I think your brother is a #1, Grade A, Ass hole for breaking up with a girl because of that reason.

  • They obviously weren't sexually compatible. If he stayed, he would suffered blueballs😏

  • No. You need to step up your game.

  • Time to break out the toys. I always wondered what it would be like to take a girlfriend out on a date while she wearing a set of benwa bals and an egg virabtor.

  • I thought every woman had the ability to orgasm under the right circumstances, if she can't no matter what, then maybe its time for her to see a medical person.

  • I won't do it. There are more important and beautiful things in a relationship.

    • Like cuddling

    • You can say that. But, there are many non-sexual things in a relationship, which people overlook.

    • I know right? I am stick and tired of hearing a relationship with sex is just a friendship when there are a ton of non-sexual things you'll do with your partner and never your friends.

  • Yes. So long as she's a good person and partner otherwise. They could have worked at it.

  • I might, would depend on things though.

  • Wait, I thought that 80% of women can't orgasm. Did he use toys, foreplay or anything to spice things up? Well, I'm not with your brother for wasting 10 months of her life but if I'm with a guy and he sucks in bed, I'd probably leave him too. But... I'd also talk to him about it and try new things, watch videos. I guess your brother didn't care as much.

  • That story is missing an important piece of information; does she, the ex, lack sensitivity in the vagina... or did he not spend enough time warming her up?
    Either way, dumping someone for that reason alone seems shallow.

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