Is it normal my boyfriend gets turned on by my pain during sex?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 5 months. He is 21, and I am 20. Over the course of a year, we have a very active sex life together. I have a very high sex drive as well as he does. But as time spans, and we have our arguements, he has become increasingly rough in the bedroom. At first a couple of times, I enjoy it, but I am starting to worry. It goes from light choking, and playful repetitive slaps on my ass to during sex - hell fuck me from behind and without asking try to fuck me in the ass which is super painful, and I'll have to ask him to stop. His grip on me is very tight when having sex and he will, try to pin me down or cover my mouth. Just recently last night, I gave him a blow job, while he was fingering me, during this I stopped and I told him it hurts, and that I was sore. He asked what hurt, and I told him what he was doing obviously. He mounted me from the back and fucked me really rough and hitting my cervix a couple of times. I was stuck between turned on and a little bit afraid, but when I "whimpered" it seemed to turn him on so much that it made him cum. What type of behavior is this? Is this some sort of fetish thing? I'd like to know. Thanks. I'd like to add, that I don't think he'd intentionally ever want to hurt me. It does turn me on what he does, so can't blame him for doing the things he does. He is not abusive or violent outside of the bedroom as well. Xx

[playdatesx]

This is not unusual. However, a very important thing here is communicating. You must talk to him about what you are and aren't comfortable with. This is essential. If you two are going to play rough, you'll need to agree on a safeword. You use the safeword when you are legitimately uncomfortable or he's crossed a line. When the safeword is used, he needs to stop and get on the same page as you.

Safety and health always comes first. A lot of communication is required. You need to tell him how everything makes you feel and what your thoughts are on the things you two do.

As long as he's respecting your limits and wellbeing.

[RansomDraven]

Yes that is normal for many people. Many like to inflict pain while others like to receive it.

[brennanhuff]

Well it doesn’t seem like women are that way in the purely intercourse way. It seems like women who are sadist do so with props and other means which is lame. It would be hot for a guy to be ravaged back, “pussy ravaged “. A change up for once instead of the chick sore like this but a woman giving pain via hard riding and from her Pussy. I didn’t think that was possible with past assumptions but there are some women who can have strong vaginas whether genetics , type of sports they do or kegels or all three and while it’s just toning for better orgasms , I’ve read where some guys end up quite sore or bruised on their dicks from being squeezed from not just tight but strong pussy. Or maybe just hard bouncing or friction or something where a guys dick is sore. It would be cool if women were able to and had desires and egos to roughly dominating guys and their cocks in this particular way

[Anonymous]

It's normal for some people to be into rough sex. Hell, I'm turned on by reading this, but it's not acceptable if it's not consensual. I would be freaked out if I knew a girl was freaked out by what was going on. He may be immature which is why he's not listening to what you're saying, or you may be giving mixed signals. You do say you were stuck between turned on and a little afraid. This is a situation where you need to be clear and direct! And he needs to respect your limits.