Sexual Relationships
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I'm a lesbian, is it wrong to make one exception and date a guy? Does this mean I'm bisexual?

I'm lesbian but there's only one guy that I would ever made an exception to. I hate males; I'm always giving them the 'evils'. I don't know why, I just absolutely despise them. But I have a friend who's male, who I get along REALLY well with. I know he likes me - he's confessed a lot of times. But I'm lesbian, I feel nothing when it comes to being attracted to guys. But this one guy, let's call him Jake* (not his real name) i feel like deep down I would make an exception and date him. Does this mean I'm bi, even though I only love girls, except for Jake*?
It's completely normal
Vote A
I think you're bisexual
Vote B
That's wrong
Vote C
It doesn't mean you're not lesbian
Vote D
See a therapist or something
Vote E
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Hating a gender doesn't technically make you lesbian, it makes you misandristic. Obviously if you feel hate for someone it could kill your attraction to them (depending on the person) so if you feel attraction to a guy that you happen to not hate, then I would say it sounds like your bi, but don't generally like men so you choose to just be with women, most of the time.

    Either way it's not wrong, unless you're holding on to hating men for some reason that you don't want to allow yourself to be attracted to one, you can't control who you are attracted to, you aren't betraying anyone for being attracted to a gender you're normally not.

  • Don't worry about lables like Lesbian and bisexual. The most important thing is what you, yourself are interested in. It is your body, you choose who you should or shouldn't share it with.

    • Wow, thanks for the MHO.

Most Helpful Girls

  • As some people has said. It's like a spectrum. But you know the differances between sexual and romantic attractions right? Sexual attraction means that you want to have sex with a gender (or both) and romantic attraction means that you feel only romantic feelings towards a gender. So I would still call you a lesbian but don't get yourself hung up about lables. So first distinguish what you feel for him? Is it sexual or romantic? You can be homosexual but still heteroromantic. But remember that you do you and don't let anyone tell you something else.

    If I got something wrong here you can just correct me because I'm not all-knowing.

    • It's both romantic and sexual.

  • I don't think you should worry about it. You're under 18, which means you're a teen, which means you can't know anything for sure yet. It's ok to be confused, totally normal and acceptable, and just.. go get him girl! If you feel something on the emotional level only, it still worth a shot. In the worse case, date him a few times and if nothing happens then cut it off. It's really important to experience things because, well, you never know.

    Anyway, good luck! I'd love to know what happened in the end ;)

    • Thanks

  • If you are not sexually attracted to him you shouldn't lead him on, since the relationship will not work out because you are a lesbian/are attracted sexually to girls.

    But if you are attracted to him sexually and emotionally, by all means, don't let yourself be labeled.

    I just wanted to make sure you're attracted to him sexually, because that's a huge part of a relationship.

  • I'm a lesbian and am dating a guy! I'm not attracted to any other guys which is why I don't identify as bisexual.

    • feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone in your boat

    • Thanks

    • thanks for MHO

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 19

  • Don't let that lesbian label stop you. Love whomever you love, like whomever you like and have whatever sorts of sex you like. You can be a lesbian and still enjoy yourself some D now and then. If that makes you Bi, whatever. You're just you. Labels are for the birds.

  • Sexuality is fluid and no one is 100% straight or 100% gay. It's more on a double bell curve between straight and gay with bi in the middle. That still doesn't cover all the types of sexuality but it pertains to this situation

  • Bisexual, lesbian, gay, pansexual etc.. are just labels that people use with no real meaning. You should be able to choose who you want to be with without worrying about labels. What you do is no one's concern but your own and as long as you and your partner are happy then who cares! A friend of mine's mum was straight her whole life and fell in love with a woman and she identifies as "confused" which is hilarious.

  • Sexuality is fluid. Don't twist yourself up worrying about labels, girl! Just be yourself and as long as YOU are comfortable with what you are, don't bother defining it!

    You are beyond description. Own that!

  • This happened to a straight girl I knew. She fell one time for my lesbian friend and always said she would only ever be with her as a girlfriend. She since broke up with her and has gotten a boyfriend.
    Go for it if you want, don't worry about labels

  • You could just be a slightly lower number on the Kinsey scale. Or, judging by your age, you could still be developing your sexuality. But here's the Kinsey scale of you want to take a gander at it.
    upload.wikimedia.org/.../Kinsey_Scale.svg

  • You might be sexually fluid. Search it up.

  • I don't see why this would be weird what your doing is the equivalent of straight girls testing their sexuality by experimenting with girls.

  • Bring a friend sometimes means getting close. If you get that genital arousal feeling when you are with him, then you're bisexual. But, bisexual doesn't mean 50% men, 50% women. It can mean 5%/95%.

  • I am straight but I feel you might be bisexual. Even though he is the exception, he is still a guy and you are not repulsed by the idea of being with that guy in a romantic way. Now if I thought about being with a girl I would feel uncomfortable because I am straight. Down the road, it could be another "exception" guy which would mean you are bisexual.

  • You already have sex with men, so you are not gold star lesbian in any case, so you don't have much to lose by dating Jake, you sound like mostly lesbian but not an 100% lesbian, if you makes an exceptions. You still have some attraction to an dick if you consider to have sex with a man, or you are really desperate.

    he.urbandictionary.com/define.php

  • Sexual and romantic attraction are two separate things, and they are not always in alignment. It sounds like you are only sexually attracted to girls but might romantically attracted to Jake. If you are also experiencing romantic attraction to girls, which I assume you are, you would be homosexual and biromantic.

  • Kind of sounds like you're bi but have met some really shitty guys

  • People are always saying, "don't label people." then they go and label themselves. The First Lady of New York City, wrote articles on being a lesbian, and of course WAS a lesbian, but she's now married to the mayor (a guy).

  • I personally know a girl just like you and she's dated one of her guy friends even though she's a full blown lesbian but this guy was a guy she knew for most of her life though

  • I've heard of straight women who were willing to try dating another women because they had a connection. I guess this is the same thing.

  • You're a bi-pan-Demi-Sapio-cheese-sexual

    • THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.

  • This will sound strange but lesbians have a thing for me and straight girls usually just want me as a bff. So i think there are some males that will trigger that in some lesbians. I don't think it is common. Over my life I have had multiple strict lesbians, like never dated or wanted to date a guy, one was 32 and never ever even considered a man, thought it was gross. They all confessed they had a strange attraction to me. Some just wanted to kiss me and see what it was like with a guy, two wanted to have sex. One even wanted a full time relationship. It is very strange. I think it is some weird pheromone trigger or something. I just can;t get that trigger to work with straight girls, hahaha.

  • You're not on contract lol do whatever you like. You don't need to stamp yourself with a label of your sexuality. Just do what makes you happy.

  • Go for who you like, girl/guy, it doesn't matter as long as you and your partner are happy :D.

  • Show More (12)

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