I saw part of his penis by accident, should I feel like this?

[Anonymous]

I'm somewhat religious, and a virgin who is saving myself for marriage. My boyfriend is understanding of this. Though we made out heavily (we've been dating for 6 months) and at one point we were grinding (first time), and he was massaging over my crotch (over thin clothing), then invited me to touch over his penis under his jeans but over his boxers. I said no that's fine lol he said it would be just over his boxers. I soon said alright because he knew I didn't want to touch him directly or see anything. I've never touched or seen a grown penis before, but when he unzipped his jeans, his boxers had part of his penis (base/middle) showing between the boxer hole. He didn't know this, and the first thing I did was try to cover it by closing the gap lol but it didn't really work so I looked away and felt (over boxers) the rest of his penis for like a second and told him that it was showing and that I saw part of it. He had no idea and apologized and told me that was not what he was intending. I didn't think much of it until 6 hours later (now). It really felt normal except for the seeing his penis moment (that was slightly awkward for me). But now, I guess I feel weird about seeing wwhat I did! It's bringing back memories of harassment ( that I had in my past) but I know he's good to me and that it wasn't intended. Not sure how I'm supposed to feel about it even though I love him, just feel like I wasn't ready for that. afterwards I even told him that it was going a bit too fast for me and I'm not sure I'd want to do anything close to what we did anytime soon. He was very compassionate about it and we hugged and kissed. But I just want to get over this feeling that suddenly showed up like I've done something wrong or that I need to be ashamed of. I feel like I've ruined something.

[Anonymous]

Are you muslim, if yes then this is my answer.

I swear by Allah, you will meet Allah. I swear by him, what you do is nothing but following the steps of satan. I swear by Allah, everything that is build on falsehood, is falsehood.

You know the truth, but you deny it by disobeying the one who created you from semen drops. This life is nothing but an illusion. The now is not to be defined, the future is coming too pass, and the past is nothing but memories. The only reality is what you will face after death. The one who was not created and has no offspring, he who is not bound to the dimension of space and time. Who created time itself, and from the beginning of being to the end of it, everything in between. You will face a day were you will be asked about what you did, we are people of truth. Not denying it by arrogance, thinking the knowledge we were gifted is enough to believe in everything from nothing.

Don't fear the creation, fear the creator. I'm Austrian, that's why I could have some errors in my text. But I want you to concentrate only on the topic. Go back to the truth, because you are a person in which Allah has put good, because you feel bad. You felt that you have ruined something, yes you did in Arabic it's called "7aya" it's the shame you had from the Fitra (primordial human nature) Allah created you with.

Sister, believe me, even if you're not Muslim, this is falsehood what you're following. I swear by Allah I'm crying for you and I don't even know you. I don't even know why. But you're story touched me that much. Leave him sister, please leave him. This is not love, wallahi this society is in an delusion. This time is a Fitna. People don't know what love is. Leave him sister, do it for you.

If Allah puts love in your heart for a person, your heart will burn if you think about your spouse. He will be you're second half, you will not imagine about sex with him only for the pleasure of you're body. It will be spiritually blessed. Sister the love of the heart will not be archived by this. I pray for you, you touched my heart in a way no one has done in the past years. I swear by Allah, my tears are falling while I'm writing. I see so much good in you.

People will think I'm crazy, they will make jokes, they will tell you the opposite. But who cares they did it with Moses, with Jesus and with the prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon them). You're worth more then this, I can only advice you but not change you. Leave him sister, please leave him.

[Asker]

Salam. Thanks you for your prayers and kind words. I almost don't believe you really wrote this lol I agree with you, Allah, God, is the almighty and the protector. He the almighty is also the most merciful. I appeal to His mercy. No matter how much sin we avoid, and how much good we do. It's by His mercy that we go to paradise, not simply our deeds. I used to be more religious, so strict, but I was also wrong. God is more loving than I thought. I have done some things I'm not proud of, but I believe Allah can forgive me, I pray he does. I just read your comment, but I want to say that 24hrs ago, I did something but then I felt the guilt so strongly, that I cried a minute later. I weeped, and he held me, he hugged me even though he was so confused. I felt so bad even though it wasn't worse than what's in my question, it was much less, but I felt miserable about it because I enjoyed it so much..., I felt so embarrassed after. I even covered my face and my mouth .. my haya was late :(

[Asker]

He loves me and cares about me so much, he's Christian but my heart feels good about him. He even insisted to take me to the doctor when I was sick.. driving 20 minutes to pick me up and go to make sure I'm alright from the doctor. I also prayed to God yesterday and today about being with him. Later today I explained to him again because I made a mistake bc I didn't want to do that again (he didn't even pressure me, I'm just telling him it was a mistake). He was understanding and relieved I was ok and said whatever I want will happen. He wants to marry me and is saving money for us, and willing to convert before marriage. I feel better now bc I intend to keep things as pure as possible between us. If I see or feel something in my heart that tells me he's not good for me, I will trust it inshallah. I'm trusting God every step inshallah, I hope I do a better job next time with trusting God and following his signs (my heart). I'll consider your words, thanks <3 appreciate your prayers

[ticlemelmo]

We are all humans and I know he didn't mean anything wrong. Dont be afraid about what happen. Adam and Eve had attraction and felt naked but have sexual thoughts of each other. you are close to him as he is to you and this I feel is natural. Tell him what you felt. If it makes you both feel better have him a quick peak at your breast. after that things become natural

[Asker]

Thanks so much for supportive words. It's not the whole thing of wronging him,.. the issue is that I felt like I saw more than I wanted to, so flashing him a part of my breast won't do any good for me lol. Luckily I did tell him everything and he's very understanding and patient with me. :)

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should feel too weird about it or that you've ruined something. You certainly have nothing to be ashamed about. I think you feel weird about it because maybe it feels like you're crossing a morality line (not that you are).

I'll say that "fooling around" like that with your boyfriend is not abnormal; you both have sexual desires while still wanting to wait for marriage. Making out, grinding, touching his penis, seeing his penis, etc. doesn't necessarily open the door for more risque' things (i. e. sex before marriage)... I think that's why you feel weird... you feel that touching his penis might lead to more.

As long as you two are moving at your pace and comfort level, and as long as you're not "crossing the line" that you established, then I personally feel that other types of things you do (i. e. hand jobs, blow jobs, etc.) are okay... they're not penetrative, so it doesn't violate sex before marriage.

[Asker]

Thanks so much for responding with your supportive words. ( But omg I accidentally downvoted you, I'm so sorry! :( ) I think you're right regarding having a boundary and not going past the line I give. I. don't think I've done something majorly wrong with him. But I have to say. I'm not comfortable with what happened last time, even though there was no skin to skin contact. It was too much for me and I don't feel comfortable with it. I think only when I'm married that I'll feel comfortable with experiencing oral, handjobs, and other skin to skin or private touching because I consider them very sexual. They are sex to me too. So at least I know what I'm comfortable with now :) thanks so much. <3

[Opinion Owner]

No worries about the downvote. It's good that you know what you want and don't want before marriage. In that case, make it clear (if it isn't already) to your boyfriend so that you both are always on the same page and in agreement with where the boundaries are. I will say, however, to also not completely ignore your boyfriend's needs. I'm not saying to do anything you're uncomfortable or not willing to do, but he also has sexual or physical needs; just be sure to find a common ground where you both agree and feel comfortable yet physically satisfied (whether that's just kissing or whether it's more). All the best!

[Asker]

Thanks so much sweetie <3 you're so right, gotta be on the same page. I think he was fine with going with the flow until I made sure he understood what kind of virgin I am lol I couldn't even kiss him at first... so anything else was way too much for me. Hopefully we're on the same page now since we talked. :)

[Carliexo7]

Since you're religious and give importance to this thing then I suppose that you wouldn't do anything sexual with a guy you wouldn't marry. So this guy will probably be your future husband and his penis will be the only one you've ever seen so don't worry too much, 1) it wasn't on purpose; 2) it wasn't a random penis; 3) he seems a very special guy, don't ruin things :)

[Asker]

Thank you for making me felt better with just a few words :)

[Carliexo7]

My pleasure ☺️

[Fronk]

I agree with carliexo!

[Anonymous]

Six months isn't too fast. Seeing his penis isn't going to hurt you for goodness sake. Take him into a room with just the two of you, play doctor and do a complete and thorough inspection. Please, before you get married.

[Asker]

Why a thorough inspection?

[GingerGuy]

I agree with the MH girl & guy. What's done is done. Nothing you can do about it. Just talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you feel about it and prevent it from happening again if it's that big of a deal for you.

[mrsingle]

At least you get to touch and be touched by the opposite sex! I get nothing but my own hand. Being your religious do you believe you need to get married, or could you live alone and be a virgin forever?

[Asker]

Why do you only have your own hand? I'm sorry. I guess I am lucky, I agree. Just being held by him and holding him makes me feel incredible... Religious wise, it's definitely something I believe in to be married first before sex, and personally, I prefer it. I can't completely let go and feel comfortable and secure with sex without being with a man who loves me enough to commit to me via marriage. I hope it makes sense. And I've considered if I could live alone a virgin forever, once upon a time I did. But now, I see marriage as an awesome alternative :) Though If marriage wasn't an option, I don't want to imagine that scenario haha, I'd have to change my mind about a few things, God forbid! lol And serious question, why are you using a nickname like this if you don't want to be single? :( Thanks for sharing your opinion.

[mrsingle]

Because if I'm not single I probably have no reason to come on here anymore

[Asker]

False :)

[OmegaSTC]

Often times these questions have a deeper answer. So here’s some questions to try and get to it. Do you touch him over the clothes because you want to or because you think he wants you to? And do you look forward to seeing the penis when you’re married, or are you indifferent (or even not excited!)

[Anon-ymous1]

Is this a serious question?

[Anonymous]

I'm a Christian boy...
I just saw some replies and learned that you're Muslim and your boyfriend is a Christian, (sorry if I'm wrong) and I just feel so happy for both of you that have decided to wait for marriage... You are a special couple!
God bless you!

[Anonymous]

You are not really religious... You do everything, just dont take the cock inside.
I would like to have a girl who haven't had sexual past im virgin, i haven't had anything sexual except masturbating.
I just want to do sexual stuffs with my future wife
Thanks

[Asker]

that was not helpful. You misunderstood what I'm saying. Yes I still consider myself a religious/spiritual person whether you agree or not. But just so you understand the question, I never did anything with his penis... He never seen or touched any private skin of mine and I didn't touch or see his private skin (except I saw a part of it by accident which is what this whole question is about because we didn't mean it to happen). We've only hugged and kissed, fully clothed!. For me, any sexual skin touching is only for after marriage so I don't know why you're saying I do everything, except "take *** inside"? You are free to share your opinion, but it's not kind of you to judge me or make things up about me. m, because those are lies you tell.

[Opinion Owner]

well you said you made out.. anyway, its not my thing to judge you, i am sorry for that. :)

[Asker]

Yes, and the meaning of "make out" is: kissing was done on the face (like lips) and sometimes the neck. It's not sex in any way lol And thank you for the apology. That was kind. I appreciate it.

[Opinion Owner]

You don't need to thank me, i am the one who is mistaken. :) You still have a right to get angry with me if you want to, i will still respect you Ms.