Seriously, shouldn't women be asking men out on dates?

Question

We all know that women generally go for guys who make more money than them, usually taller and basically better than them in everyway (we can include natural looks as well if we take off women's makeup and compare faces). So the question here is shouldn't women be the ones chasing men?

 
Let's think about courtship and relationship dynamic and what both genders bring to the table:

1) Men almost always are the ones who initiate contact 

(1 point - Male, 0 point -female)

2) Men for the most part are the ones who have to pay for dates 

(1 point - male, 0 point - female)

3) Men almost always are the ones who have to plan and be the entertainers for the relationship while women judge whether she finds him entertaining enough to stick around

 (2- points -male, 0 points -female)

4) When it comes to companionship and sex both members bring that to the table.

(2- point male, 2 point- female)

5) Even during official relationship men are often expected to continue caring out duties 3) and 4).

( 1- point male, 0 - female)

Hell, most relationships today just like marriage ends due to female majority of cases. Why the hell are men being the ones asking women out on date when they put in more of the effort at keeping the relationship active?

This retarded concept is akin to men having to get on their knees and beg a woman to marry him, the same marriage in which he gives his balls to a woman and gets divorced raped whenever the women decides she is fed up of the relationship.

Azara · Accepted Answer

first i think having a social rule of one sex supposed to be doing one thing is bullshit. i dont think imitating is any one persons job., however i do think in practical stand point, it would serve better for women to do the approaching. i dont think women should ask for the same reason, but i do think it makes more sense for women to initiate.

-women are usually not ready to have sex asa soon. so if they ask they wait until they are never to being ready.

-women dont need to lie to get sex. they dont have to pretend to want a relationship just for sex. so when women inert she is most likely into you as a person. with guys you really can't know until you've wasted a lot of time.

-women are 99% less likely to rate a guy. women asking guys catches them off guard its harder for the predatory guys to be predatory bc they are not in charge, they are not skulking about studying their prey. they are not choosing they are being chosen.

-people use whoever asks as a reason to pay. if women ask men wouldn't assume women were expecting them to pay and would stop whining about it and using it as an excuse to demand instant sex. it would shake up the pattern of paying for sex in relationships.

-guys put too much emphasis on who should 'lead'. if women initiate it will disorient people used to looking at relationships as a guy leading his flock.. again it would force people put of stagnant regressive view.

-it would be a definite change and all sorts of changes could arise out of this. it will force new perspective in a world where people are clinging desperately to as system that was never good in the first place.

- a lot of guys are just tired of feeling the pressure and want a break but are too timid to admit it bc they think they'll be rediculed, or worse end up dateless. women asking helps them out.

-im sure men would still ask women out, but if women were the ones expected to do it ti would even things out much better than now. there's too much lopsidedness in relationship, and too many people are comfortable with being miserable. people who dont want the burden of leading lead, people who dont want the degradation of following follow. and people who dont want to lead or follow are forced into one or the other by rules that preceded their birth and have nothing to do with their aims goals intentions personality, or life.

-of all the possible reasons the bet is bc relationships should be an equal opportunity endeavor, and its good to try new things

IronicallyInnocent · Accepted Answer

"women generally go for guys who make more money than them, usually taller and basically better than them in everyway (we can include natural looks as well if we take off women's makeup and compare faces)." - Through me disagreeing on the entire post, this bit aggravated me the most. Men, typically, are the one's who leave most women stranded within marriage once they find a younger, cuter, dumber female. Men are the one's who have pressured women for generations to work on their appearance, to shave, to keep their hair neat and long, to learn to cook and clean, to be natural mothers and follow each and every command of the man. Here's a simple experiment you can conduct. Go on a porn site, or facebook, anywhere, check the posts most men like to do with women. I can 100% guarantee you that the majority of men will have liked/ rated the highest pictures of women with huge tits, huge ass, illegally tiny waist, petite, well groomed, smoother than a bloody metal post with long as shiny hair and make-up. Why do you think those pictures are there in the first place? - Men's pleasure. Even in porn, most the videos are made FOR MEN. Not women. Even lesbian porn is made for the male audience, why? Because men like sexy, hot girls. All genders like attractiveness, the natural instinct to own and fuck. Don't jump on the assumption that we are looking for a man "better than us" because then women can simply jump right back and say, "well clearly you are looking for a barbie doll" - That in turn, is better than you, physically. *shrugs*

vonasaurus · Accepted Answer

it's 2016~ it doesn't matter who asks who out first.

that said, you're either butthurt or you hate women... perhaps both. i can't tell which, but this post absolutely reeks of insecurity and bitterness.

i was there once; most marriages in my family ended within 5 years because the men all cheated or fucked off with someone who was younger/thinner/blonder, so i had the same bitter, jaded outlook on the opposite sex as you do now. i had no desire to get married, simply because i'd lost faith in the institution; i learned at a young age that a ring will not make a man loyal to you and that he'll drop you as soon as he finds someone better.

(in fact, if a guy had pushed for marriage, it would have been a deal-breaker for me)

my boyfriend/future husband and i have been together for a year, and he is my equal; our relationship is a partnership, in the truest sense of the word. from the beginning, every decision we've made- including our plans to get married and not have kids- has been made as a team.

(he even changed my mind about the whole getting-married thing, because i actually like him enough to want him in my life long-term)

based on your post, i'll go out on a limb here and say that the woman who broke up with you and made you this way dodged an entire magazine of bullets.

kat_gran · Accepted Answer

That's actually a very interesting and good point of view. Men and women have been defined in societal roles for centuries, even today. It is only when we question the current system and beliefs that we can progress for change and improvement.

Women need to realise how they are and start stepping up to the plate and men need to understand and also have boundaries. Relationships are a give and take situation, give too much and you'll run yourself short, take too much and you'll run the other person short. It is about balance and until both men and women learn to give and take in different aspects of their life, only then can they have a successful PARTNERSHIP, until then, many relationships will continue to fail. Hope that helps! :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You had me until the good looks bit. Maybe it's just LA, but where I am 8 out of 10 guys are ugly af, 1 is the male equivalent to a "butterface", and maybe 1 will be decent looking. Not to mention, half the guys I know wear the same sweaty hoodies to school every day, barely bother to brush their teeth, and don't care if they have bodies like Homer Simpson, though it could be that I just have a strange sample population considering I'm at engineering school.

The girls at my university at least bother *trying* to look presentable.

Also, I don't know about you, but I don't see how tall girls are superior to short girls? For me, the opposite is usually more attractive: when a girl is shorter than me she is naturally cuter imho, though tall girls can be beautiful too. Shorter girls are just my preference.

However, I do agree that women should start proposing to men/asking men out/etc because it is nearly 2016 and there is no reason why they shouldn't be paying for meals and taking the initiative as far as asking people out goes.

I don't think women are the problem: it's our stupid social customs that make it okay for women to skate by through dating without having to pay for anything or put themselves out there to ask people out.

Scoopie · Accepted Answer

I think there's a paradox: women want to be treated as equals in every sense, except for when it comes to dating. Then, suddenly, they want it to be the old-fashioned way. So women want to lose the tradition of the stay-at-home housewife, but they still want to have the guy initiate first contact, ask her out, buy her drinks, dinner, weekend away, (your #3), get on their knees... etc.
I don't think this is entirely fair and it especially gives me problems when the girl is acting all independent, self-sustaining, so she feels offended when I try to take care about certain stuff; but then when it comes to dating stuff she still expects me to do this stuff. It's confusing and stressful. This way I 100% agree with your 3rd point, although not true for every woman, of course. I do all that hard work to keep it interesting, while she's laid back and only criticizing the stuff I do, or didn't do. Instead, she could also at least bring up ideas about what she'd like to do, initiate a date. Not make me guess what she likes, only to criticize why I didn't do it in a different way.

HannahDJA · Answer

I don't expect that a guy do everything. But my social anxiety and insecurities prevent me from asking guys out because instead of getting toyed with, insulted, or laughed at because of certain things about me when I try to ask them out, I'd rather live with the less crippling idea that they're really hot, and I'm WAY out of their league.

I'd rather the guy be interested first so I don't waste my time, be insulted, or have to deal with the general fuckary that happens whenever I happen to be attracted to a guy.

Of course it's a double edged sword, and it happens to guys when they ask out women too, but that's just my reasoning behind asking guys out and why I don't do it.

JayyStephen · Answer

Equality is a great thing, my friend.

SomeGuy37 · Answer

I want an EQUAL partner in a woman. Equal, in all the ways possible! She kills her own damn spiders, while I catch them, and set them free, outside the house! She should be willing to ask me out, say that she is REALLY horny and wants sex, and yeah, she should plan the date, pay the tab, and like being 'EQUAL'.
If that's what she really wants.
Women have been playing the 'gray area' of 'Equal Rights' since the 1960's, saying they want 'Equality' but many still expect the man to ask her out, and pay for the date.
It's long past time to choose, ladies. You can't have it both ways!!
Ask him out! You might be surprised!!

loofah · Answer

I don't see the point of first asserting men are better and more of a catch when at the end of the day you want a woman. Unless you're one of those dudes who thinks women are less than men and should serve men. You're in the minority though then. We are shifting towards women asking men out as well now and men taking care of their appearance more, so that's starting to even out some of the pressures the genders face in the dating world.

RationalLioness · Answer

This is a good podcast to let you know why men tend to approach women more and why it's better to do so. If you're expecting to wait for a woman to approach you, you'll be waiting a while. Many women have already taken a subtle first step to let a lot of guys know that they're interested---it's just that plenty of guys don't read it or get it. As stated in the podcast, there is a higher risk for women in the dating scene than there are for men. So the fact that a lot of women don't approach is for their protection: they can weed out guys who aren't truly interested in them (due to the fact that they don't approach) or guys who they wouldn't be interested in (guys who are too shy to approach). Of course there are plenty of women who do approach, but no one should be obligated to ask someone out.

Mercury1 · Answer

Yes, absolutely women need to be asking guys out on dates, especially in the United States of America. It's Federal law that women are the ones to ask the guys out. Guys who do the asking are the ones that get 375 years to life in Federal prison and even the death penalty, because in the United States, it's a capital felony under Federal law for a man to ask a woman out.

lumos · Answer

And this is why you don't date a traditional girl if you don't want a traditional relationship. It's that simple.

throwit · Answer

Men don't like waiting. Women will ask a guy out who she really wants. A guy will ask out anyone and women will take the chance and say yes.

elew4too · Answer

When I was in middle school, I refused to approach girls because I thought,"none of them have approached me. If guys and girls are equal, why should I approach them?" I spent all of high school committed to this theory to my detriment.

You totally highlighted the main issue with guys' initiative nowadays. Guys initiate and maintain relationships, yet rarely want them from the outset.

r-one · Answer

Seriously, why should they?

Men are expected to be the ones approaching women, women are going to be approached by men so they never 'have' to go after men, initiate contact etc.

If your average guy doesn't want to be single he HAS to approach women.

If your average woman doesn't want to be single she only HAS to accept one of the offers for 'contact' flirting/etc that some man in her life will initiate.

Is this right/fair nope, but that's the way it is due to gender roles we've gotten through evolution and human society.

Accept that as a man it just isn't 'fair' that most of the courting burden is on you the upside is you as a man aren't held to the same unfair standards of beauty that women are.

As a man you can be pretty plain and if you have a decent personality or a good job that can make up for your lack of genetic blessings.

Women can't do that unless they are after a trophy husband who'd probably cheat for a better looking woman.

Xonen · Answer

It's not a "retarded concept". It has biological roots. Even when we when our species was still young and inexperienced to the world, men were the ones who had to compete for female attention and court them.

SolitaireBond · Answer

Well, I asked this absolutely amazing guy out when I was just thirteen years old.. Long story short.. I am now married to him. :)

dotydot · Answer

Personally, in my opinion, society pushes the idea that guys are the one that approaches people they're interested in.

I think some women do make the initial contact when it comes to relationships.

However, some women might feel like if the guy does not show interest in them (by approaching them, etc) then they are not interested, since it is assumed if they are interested in you, they will be the one to approach them.

justbanANNAz · Answer

I'm fine with approaching men, that's how i ended up with my past guys, but guess what? I'm over it, so i can say here i know how u feel.
i actually feel want to feel wanted, so I'm not gonna put myself through it for just anyone.

Jxpxtxr · Answer

Hahahahaha, YES all women are actually ugly, rotten to the core & gold diggers!  Now can all the jobless, 40 year old virgin guys can upvote me please 😂😂😂

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Another frustrated member of that organization known as MFTOCEM (Men Fixin' Their Own Coffee Every Morning.)

blabli · Answer

and most of the time men are the ones getting rejected and Dumped.

love2run13 · Answer

No, men should grow some balls and ask the women out lol

desidoll · Answer

I don't have problem approaching men if he AT LEAST shows some signs that he is interested. Asking me randomly to come and say hi in the street or on the train is just something I wouldn't do. Sorry.
One reason I refuse to do so is because I have heard plenty of times when the date or the relationship doesn't turn out well, the men will say "She was the one who approach me"

Kroakies_krickees · Answer

The fact that men make more money isn't important to every woman. And your opinion that men are "basically better than them [women] in every way" is demeaning, condescending, sexist, and odious. Rethink your words very carefully. No woman would date you if she saw how you deliberately berated us here.

Seriously, shouldn't women be asking men out on dates?

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