I'm bisexual? Reluctant about coming out?

I recently came to the conclusion that I'm bisexual. I have wondered about it for periods before but have always been hesistant about it. Always thought that by liking guys it would be impossible for me to get involved with girls too. I want to try to have romances with girls but I don't understand the concept of coming out? Why would the hetero norm be that big for others to force themselves to tell the world what sexuality they have? It feels surreal to me. None of my friends have ever needed to do that (the ones who are straight). And people have just assumed that I am straight because I speak fondly of certain males. I have never had the curage to take my female crushes seriously. I came out despite my reluctance to two of my best friends. They accepted it and we hugged (mentally and physically). But I'm not sure that my sexuality will be as accepted in my house... maybe by my mum but one of my brothers have teased me by using words as "lesbian", "gay" and other words describing sexuality whenever I show affection towards my female friends (which I have no sexual attraction for). And this makes me a bit sad and scared, actually. He has taught my younger brother that it's okay to say those words and to make me insecure. Now even as his daughter has reached an age where she is quite witty she takes after her dad's remarks... but it also feels really bad when my mum asks me if I looked at any hot guys today and I just answer "No", but in reality I am thinking bout all the really nice looking and sweet girls that I met. It feels bad to be called a lesbian and it feels bad to be taken for a straight person... I don't know what to do really? I want to put my name out there, tell everybody who I am. But a lot of people in my class said last week that they pity and are scared of bisexuals. That they are OK with gay people but not with bisexual ones. Some even said that they didn't think they existed, that you are either Gay or Straight, no in between. I want everybody to know me, I want to slap them in the face, but at the same time not be looked upon as some sort of alien. What should I do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • My advice is to NOT rush out and broadcast the fact that you're bisexual (or bi-curious) to the world right now. A few reasons...

    - At your age, lots of things are going on and your feelings and sexuality are probably in a state of flux. The cement is still wet, it hasn't set yet, and it's sloshing around. Maybe you are bisexual and will be for the rest of your life, but it also is possible that right now you're having bisexual feelings and in a few years those feelings won't be nearly as strong. There's nothing wrong with being bi (I'm bi, too), but don't rush to make a formal announcement about it. There's simply no need.

    -You'll probably get a reaction from whoever you do tell... Your family may or may not accept this part of you, they may tease you or hold it against you. Or they may love you just the same and respect it. It could go either way. You might lose some friends who aren't mature enough to understand what it means, and who are worried that you're going to try and sleep with them or have feelings towards them that you don't. Most will probably be fine, but there probably will be some who aren't.
    Same goes for classmates at school.

    Lay low for a few more years. Don't try and hide who you are or be someone you aren't, but don't make a formal announcement to people who are so involved in your life (family) at your age when you know that they will most likely react in a way that doesn't work out well for you.
    If they happen to notice certain things and can connect the dots themselves, fine, but don't be in a hurry to make a big announcement when the whole family is sitting around the table for Christmas dinner.
    Don't go renting a billboard to let the whole city know that "LolliesChan is Bisexual"

    Explore who you are, date guys and girls, have fun and embrace this part of you, but don't make a big deal out of it, ya know?

    Good luck!

    • This is really helpful, thank you! I will take everything you said into consideration and take it with me in thought! :) h

  • First off you're born that way, just like you're born straight, and there's nothing wron wig being gay and or bi. Especially now that it's legal to marry as a gay person, which I'm very proud that we've finally gotten that. It was a real stepping stone for the states to do that. Anyway, the reason why it felt weird to come out was that you're now letting your same sex friends know that you could develop feeling for them and that if they want to stop being friends with you because you're bi, it allows them that ability without being caught off guard. It was a very noble thing of you to do by coming out. Now all you do is just hope that your family can accept that

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Fuck what other people think, just be who you are and enjoy it. If anyone in your family has a problem with you because of your sexual preferences they can't be that good of a family member... also enjoy some humor.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkFewRm_YC4
  • Its ok. I love bisexuals and im sure there are many others like me