What does this fantasy of a female friend (F) mean?

[brocha]

SEE BACKGROUND IN UPDATE!!! Fantasies: 1. She is eating a banana again and she notes how excited I am and likes it? Then one thing leads to another and she erm.. gives me phenomenal head? 2. Dinner and it's romantic. Having fun, somehow she kisses me and we share a passionate night together having sex. It's intimate and I love her smile? 3. Meet her and her friends, one of whom is also pretty. Flirting with her, I note F also seeing me in that light. Somehow after her friend gets tipsy, back at F's place we have a threesome with both F and her friend blowing me? F suddenly turns from innocent and nice to getting naughtier each minute when she sees how her friend is really kinky. She starts to try to outdo her friend and I love it. I then have sex with each of them in turn. With her friend, it's kinky. With F, it is pure passion and wild as well. Then finish on both their faces and in their mouths (around 60% to F). 4. After 2 or 3, we're still friends and after a long time meet up. By this point I'm with someone, she was but became single again. Seeing her looking so pretty, I erm.. have a fantasy about her that night giving me head and making love to her? 5. After having a 3some with F in point 3., later on in life we meet up and somehow a more flirty girlfriend of mine suggests a threesome. She doesn't know about 3, but F is persuaded to join and I love it! It's so hot and F is really good. I finish on both women, and F kinda sucks me after I have released as well affectionately? 6. Meeting up with F later on in life, both of us are great friends and taken. One on one meeting. Have a great time. I do get a little nervous when she is eating ice cream as dessert. Later, I erm.. have a fantasy about F giving head? 7. I imagine F on the dancefloor at a houseparty dancing with me. She puts her hands on my shoudlers facing me and gyrates her hips as she moves from standing to squatting whilst looking into my eyes. It's realy hot?

[Anonymous]

those combinations of fantasies do not mean you desire to fuck this chick at all, it means she reminds you of your moms poodle.
WTF? I can't believe I read so much of that... dude, I will tell you and not bullshitting you, like every other guy will.
Threesomes suck most of the time or they turn into regular twosomes or you get kicked out. It's not like those promos unless they are drugged up or whatever. Acting like a slut rave or being an exhibitionist just to try it once is different.
Most guys think two girls at the same time is so ideal. It's not, it's hard enough to please one and if Gravity didn't exist they would be more fun. If it were not for feeling less desired in a threesome which someone usually will feel like either before, during or after. Jealousy and all sorts of shit but in very rare circumstances where two sober (I know it happens lots when drugged) girls say, "see him, let's bang him together as we both like him" (that doesn't happen often) if it does, you will have to take care of hurt feelings and unintended consequences, realize girls do things to please a guy but unsure about its consequnces, then do it, then you deal with it as well. It's just more complicated and they don't usually act like they do in pornos, they are more interested in competing mentally with the other one, or want you out of the room

[brocha]

There's also a one on one fantasy about her? See above number 1, 2, etc. Also the background?

[brocha]

In the update

[Opinion Owner]

Your post is very hard to follow and it seems it's predicated on something very simple and common. You want to bang a girl and worried it may compromise a ffriendship... this happens often and it's actually a good sign. I grew up with three sisters and each one ended up marrying a "friend" at first... however what messes everything up is "assumptions" and "fear" and "insecurities" and you have to realize that women want to feel desired and they also like a guy who can express his feelings. Second thing to remember is they want to experience how a guy wrestles with expressing those feelings so the answer is like dieting. There is no "reinventing the wheel" dieting is all about (1) exercising and burning energy and (2) taking in less energy and it always comes back to that no matter how many books are written. This is the same; communication, effective (meaning do not assume) and honesty, those are the two things people fuck up in these situations by assuming rather than asking

[brocha]

You make some truly excellent points. Apologies for any confusion. I think the word count messed it up so I had to move the start to the update lol. That's why it's best to read the two updates first and then the post. Ok so, when you say want to bang, does that mean I fancy? I always imagine making passionate love to her, occasionally having a threesome and her innocence turning into her being really naughty? And ever since in real life she ate a banana, I erm.. imagine her giving me head? Yes I do truly value her as a person. She is genuine, nice and we get on well. It's rare to meet people like her. And she isn't the one, but is someone. I could see us as friends for life. I feel unlucky to have met her when she was taken and now we've moved for work post uni, she becomes single lol. I think you make some excellent points...

[brocha]

Could you explain what you mean a good sign? So in terms of wrestling feelings and a woman wanting to be desired, how to do that and play this? It's long distance texting till we meet up (when one of us visits, which does happen occasionally). I note that she almost seemed more flirty/less text gamey when she was not single? I think she might have a slightly more active social life given that I am doing a startup and busy. How do I impress her? I mean she does seem to love some of my texts. But how often, and how do you keep it desirable versus chit chat? When you say they want the guy to wrestle, pls clarify? Should I qualify her and how? Like the diet analogy. So how do I provide effective communication? When arranging to meet up after a while in person, how do I ensure it's one on one rather than with other people from uni? And erm... good activity to do that is relaxed (skating/bowl/dine/dance? Finally in person, when we meet, how do I compliment her and behave?

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, it just means that you are shallow and really only want her for sex. Her or any other girl, most likely.

The thing is, the more desperate for sex you seem, the less likely you'll ever get any.

[brocha]

Did you see my update tho? She is really a great person. That's why I became friends with her in the first place at uni. I value her so much and it's flattering that she makes an effort to stay in touch and meet with me (unlike hundreds of others from uni). I do like her personality and find it easy to listen to her, nervous to talk to her, but really like her? Get butterflies. She was taken and now she's single, I seem to be more nervous? But also noted her texting response times have become more gamey lol? Based on this clarification, what do you make of each numbered point above?

[brocha]

@handsomeraj what are your thoughts?

[brocha]

Thoughts pls?

[Paris13]

You are still Fantasizing about "F" who is "T" Taken here, dear, and same thing as last year as well, @brocha.
Keep it lite and semi sweet, be Friends for now until something changes or even if it doesn't change, your Fantasy about her with the Porn doll deal is Real to you because she is Someone Special who you really like and would Have liked to Be.. The Real deal.
Good luck and Happy New Year. xx

[brocha]

@Paris13, F was taken when we met. We became friends as I feel she is very very nice and I like her personally. I also think she is very pretty (tho no idea how to tell her this in person). She became single recently. We do meet up now and again despite the distance. I'm nervous texting her. For full info, see the update I popped in below the question. As for how to interact given her status, what to do? I do kinda feel her texts are more text gamey since she became single? Also given my life is busy and the time difference, not to mention her having what seems like a very active social life, I struggle to keep the momentum and attraction with texts and am unsure how to flirt? I was a bit worried this year, given she is ahead on timezone wise, normally she texts things like new years first. This time, I initiated when my guests had gone? And then she replied (enthusiastically tho)? So you think I like her? What do you think about all this?

[Paris13]

Okay, so Now @brocha she is single and probably a new experience for her in the wild side of the world. She may not want a strings attached thing right now so go slow, stay friends, keep it lite and semi sweet, don't move too fast, give this time and if you feel she is worth trying for, nurse and nurture this. With time zone thing, could be a problem but work this out. xx

[brocha]

Ok good points. It's just how has the texting become less mutual now she's single? In terms of initiation? She used to initiate and be more happyish via texting before in my opinion. She still is enthusiastic in replying and also I think appreciates sweetness. I must say I do think she is great. Tbh I find her pretty as well, can't explain this feeling fond of her? Ever since I met her really. I don't know how to tell that tho lol, nor how to try to arrange to meet her one on one when either person visits, versus in a group (given I'm there to meet her right?). I am partly worried about being too friendly to lose uniqueness, and also too forward to lose someone I truly value? Could you give examples of how to be semi sweet, friendly, but also in the 'could be more than friends' category? Via texting and how often? And in person when we meet?

[Paris13]

Something like this you cannot overthink right now. She is single, she is happy to be free for now and may not wanna rush right back into anything. If you move too fast, she will get scared and you won't hear much from her. Try and just tell her you would love for you both on a good schedule meet up and take it from there.. text her a Happy day on a daily basis. xx

[brocha]

Yes agreed. So things like special occasions, what should I text? Rather than daily and too friendly, how to be unique and desirable to her? How do you become someone she wants to chase? And when arranging the meet up, how to convey would like to meet her one on one (versus with everyone else from uni) as I'm there to see her lol not them? And what is a good relaxed activity?

[Paris13]

Just be friendly and yourself and it doesn't have to be a special occasion, just a text maybe even twice a week to let her know you are there. She would have to find you desirable without you being too obvious so with texting, it could come on, which right now it sounds like she is into you for a friend, nothing more.. However, that could change with just Texting her in letting her see your personality. As far as alone meeting, suggest this with both of you because you think it might be fun to try something different and a one on one deal with you both as good friends. Just relax and let it flow and go slow. xx

[Anonymous]

It doesn't really make sense to me. It seems you don't want to lose touch with her so you can still have those experiences. I think you only see her in a secular way.

[brocha]

Ok so when you not lose touch, I do really value her for some reason more than other friends? Explain? She is really nice as a person and love her personality. When you say sexual is it more and what do you make briefly of each fantasy?

[Lioness]

Yeah I think you have a crush on her...

[brocha]

Ok, I see your point. So why do you think that?

[Lioness]

This : "Yes she is someone who I could see going out with and I find it very easy to listen to her, (even if I get nervous to talk to her)."

[brocha]

Yes I get what you mean. I was unlucky as I met her at uni when she was taken. Now she is single lol. She's so great, I can't help but feel fond of her? I don't feel like she is the one per say, but definitely someone right? I could see us being friends for life as well. I'm worried as I get nervous texting her, and when meeting up (which is after a while given the long distance friendship post uni) I never know what to say when I think she looks good? What do you advise? And what about the fantasies? I mean I truly value her as a person. I don't know how often to text etc and what to text if that makes sense so as not to be boring, but instead flirty and make her feel desired and erm.. well maybe think about me in that way too? She does make an effort to meet me (unlike countless others) which must mean something right? Also how do I ensure we meet one on one and what activities are good to catch up but also flirt?

[matheus_mb]

Well, as we both know, it's all a fantasy. I think it simply means that you care very much about her, find her attractive and you really want sex with her and a blowjob. I think there isn't much to be understood.

[Justcallmealy]

Is she really a «friend» lol?

[Zombie-Killa]

Sounds like a sex fantasy with a very shy girl, and eating.

[brocha]

Ok, that's a point. I mean she isl very friendly. Not to mention sociable. It's more her being innocent than some wild party girl if that makes sense? What do you briefly make of each number and the background (reality)?

[Zombie-Killa]

1. Blowjob 2. Sex 3 and the rest are more casual sex with no strings attached. Seems like a pure sex with no responsibilities or attachments fantasy.

[brocha]

The thing is I really like this girl, as in value her as a friend? She's extremely nice. And I do think she is pretty too? Based on this, what do you make of each number?

[Zombie-Killa]

You want sex from her, but not a real relationship.

[brocha]

But I do see her as girlfriend material? Just don't wanna lose her as a friend? But what do 4-7 mean?

[brocha]

See the updates by the way, it's more than just physical?

[Zombie-Killa]

Just seems like you are either unsure of her, or yourself. And you think everything will change if you meet again after a long period of time.

[brocha]

Well worried about dropping off the radar in terms of texting, but also weary of losing appeal by being too avaiable by text and just another buddy in that sense (especially since until we meet which we do no and again, it's long distance so I'm not in her life like other guys giving her the look right?). How do you get the right balance? How do you cheekily flirt on her bday or something for instance? And in terms of 1-7, isn't it more than just sex?

[Zombie-Killa]

Yeah, when i read them closer they were. Its just insecurity and doubt.

[brocha]

Clarify pls? I mean I know I like her as a person as well as her being pretty and I get excited when she texts me and feel comfortable listening to her?

[Zombie-Killa]

And you are insecure and full of doubt because its a LDR, You dont trust her.

[brocha]

What do you mean trust? She's a friend?

[luckiestboy]

Sorry dude..
Your fantasy is more difficult to understand than any university exam :)
But really a good one

[brocha]

Thanks. Ok, what do you think tho given the background (reality) in the update? Does that help understand each number... what do you make of each (each is different)?

[brocha]

@Paris13 @XNicholeMariex3 @BlueCoyote Help?

[BlueCoyote]

I don't really know what to make of it. It sounds just like typical sex phantasies that probably every heterosexual guy has had at some point ;-). It also sounds like you might have a bit of a crush on that girl but not completely realize it "she's a great friend".

[XNicholeMariex3]

Just simply fantasizing.

[brocha]

@XNicholeMariex3 Looking at the background is it more? And for each number what do you make of briefly?

[brocha]

@BlueCoyote right so is it sex fantasies about this girl? Do I like her more given the background and can you clarify pls? And what do you make briefly of each one?

[BlueCoyote]

Well, since you're phantasizing about having sex with this girl, I think it is self explanatory. Yes, it qualifies as sex phantasy. Do you like her more? Well, I don't know you personally and it's impossible to tell just based on a few sex phantasies. You're the only person who can answer this question. Go deep inside yourself and listen to your heart. It will tell you the answer. What do I make of them? Not much... they all sound pretty hot :-).

[brocha]

@BlueCoyote Ha yeah they are pretty hot! Ok, I think maybe I like her? I keep thinking of how to impress her for some reason and I'm extremely nervous texting her? Not to mention my mind struggles how to compliment her when we meet up. I do wish I saw her more often or kept in touch more, but is being less available better? Then again, she must be socializing more than me and meeting other guys sigh. Thoughts on that? And briefly for each fantasy, what is the difference, e. g. the one on one with her and then erm.. the threesome, meeting her later in life etc?

[brocha]

@BlueCoyote P. S. I updated, hope it helps. Would appreciate your thoughts?

[BlueCoyote]

I'm sorry but I really can't say much more about this. I don't quite understand what you want to hear from me. Some of the sentences that you write with a question mark at the end are not actual questions. For example "... and I'm extremely nervous texting her?" I don't understand if that is a statement or whether you are asking me if you are nervous. There is no way I could no whether you are nervous or not. Also, about the question "Ok, I think maybe I like her?" I already told you: nobody on here can tell you that. Not even your closest friend or your family members. The only person that can tell you whether you are falling in love with this girl is you. Listen to your heart. It knows the answer. Next, you've asked "is being less available better?". I wouldn't know why that is. I mean, I can't say categorically no but USUALLY being more available is better. Certainly, if you want to have more chances at becoming her boyfriend, you need to spend a lot of time with her so you two can

[BlueCoyote]

talk a lot and find out whether you really fit together. Also if you want to become intimate you need to spend time with her because girls usually only want to do something sexual if they also feel emotionally intimate. Being nervous when talking (or texting) to somebody you have a crush on is totally normal. Everybody goes through this. It's not something particularly nice (I think) but the reward of going through this anyway can be great sometimes. As for complimenting, just be natural. Don't make stupid artificial compliments such as "your eyes are so beautiful". That just sounds clichée and cheesy. Instead, pay attention to what she looks like or what she says and make a compliment based on that. Maybe she dresses up really cute? Maybe she's a good listener? Maybe she's very smart? Maybe she's got a great taste of music? Etc. And I really don't know what you mean by "difference between the phantasies". One is a threesome, one is not... what else can I say?

[Theone4u]

Sounds like you internally have a sexual attraction to her and maybe more. Just take it slow with her observe her and see if she ever changes her demeanor towrd you. At some point you may have to confront your feelings for her is they become apparent.

[brocha]

Interesting. So why do you think I have sexual attraction to her and also the more part? In terms of what to look for, could you clarify in terms of texting and in person when we meet (given it's become long distance post uni)? Briefly what does each fantasy suggest?