My boyfriend is following Dan Bilzerian on instagram and makes sexist comments?

[Anonymous]

The other day he showed me some pics from Dan Bilzerian's instagram and told me he's following him. I asked if he was serious and when he said yes I got so disappointed. It's not that I care too much about him watching pretty much naked girls, I'm fine with him watching porn, it's just that I do not understand why you would want to follow someone like that. Someone who shows off girls as objects so that others will be jealous of him. And then I started thinking of all the sexist things my boyfriend sometimes say. Just the other day he shot a video of us when we cuddled, I didn't want to be in the video, and then he sent the video to his friend and said "I just banged her".. The first time I met all of his friends he said "I'm going to have sex tonight" to all of them in a loud voice. And then finally the other week he told me he wanted me to learn how to bake, when he knows absolutely nothing about baking himself. Other than that he's the most caring and loving guy and that's what has gotten me all confused. He claims he hates guys that brag about girls they've "just banged". He talks about his colleague and is always disgusted by how he brags about how many plays and sleep with. I'm so confused right now. Advice on what to do please?

[Anonymous]

He sounds like he's being a tool, but also that he may think that's how a "real man" acts. Tell him gently that it hurts your feelings and turns you off when he says sexist things and see what he does.

[TheSkaFish]

So many guys are encouraged to act like this, by other men, society, and women no less. In fact lately, there's this whole thing that essentially says if you're not a cocky, heartless asshole, you're not a man. Then you see assholes get rewarded because it's "cool" to be an asshole, and kinder, friendlier guys who wouldn't say and do these things described get written off as boring, prudish, and "un-cool". Talk about mixed signals. Dating is more confusing than ever.

[Opinion Owner]

Some chicks are absolute douchebags too, no doubt. We live in a mean spirited culture right now.

[Asker]

He already know that I'm against sexism and for equality, in every kind of way. Sometimes I let it slide but I also tell him to cut it out when I feel like he crosses a line. I'll talk to him tonight about it.. We've been together for 2 years now, if he had said all these things when we were dating I would've dropped his ass. He just goes against everything he's said he believes in regarding this subject.

[Opinion Owner]

Guys have a strong desire for power and status... A lot of what we're seeing right now is ignorant hedonism and materialism, IMHO. But I can see how a young guy can get confused. 😐

[TheSkaFish]

@Anonymous Opinion Owner, "We live in a mean spirited culture right now. " I agree. I think the culture has been getting steadily more and more mean-spirited in our time. I just can't stand how all kinds of nasty people are becoming more and more glorified these days in a race to the bottom to see who can be the "edgiest". It's dumb. It's really making me start to hate people.

[AustinMan]

I only have one question: why is he not your EX boyfriend? He clearly doesn't respect you.

[Asker]

Often he says stuff like that in a joking manner so I have let it slide from time to time. It's mostly when he's talking/haging out with his friends that he acts like this and I don't want to make a scene so I just stay quiet and observe when he say stuff like that. I rather talk to him alone about it than take it in front of everyone else, you know? Or should I say something right then and there?

[AustinMan]

I think you have a private conversation and as part of that warn him that if that shit comes out of his mouth in your hearing, you'll call him out, right there in front of his friends. He doesn't have to minimize or degrade you to be a man in his friends' eyes.

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the MHG!! What happened?

[Asker]

I brought it up and he was like "Are you seriously so bothered about me following him?" I said it wasn't just about him following Bilzerian. It makes me think about the times when he for example sent the "I just banged her" text to his friend or when he said "it doesn't matter how I act, I'll be having sex tonight either way". He just stared at me and said "oh wow.. you're completely right. I always hated those guys and I didn't realise I've been acting like one myself. I'm really sorry, it won't happen again." So far so good! I will follow your advice on the calling out thing immediately if it happens again and then I might have to reconsider us. Thank you so much for your help! :)

[AustinMan]

It was my pleasure. I'm glad he had an epiphany and am hopeful that you two have turned a corner. Have you invited him to spank your naughty bare bottom for being such a wench? He might really like that.

[RaggaMon]

Some of that shit crossed the line, you're dating a wanker.

[Doffydood]

I don't want to offend your dear boyfriend or anything, but maybe- just maybe

he's a twat.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Dan bilzerian is an idiot, he pays the models with mommy and daddy's money to spend time with him. He just surrounds himself with hookers, nothing to admire.

[Asker]

I wouldn't admire him even if he didn't spend money on them. He sees them as objects to make him more desired and that alone is disgusting to me. My boyfriend said he doesn't care about the girls (haha), he just thinks it's interesting to see that kind of lifestyle and on what kind of things he spends his money on. I don't know.. I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Ya that would be such a turn off tbh. Bilzerian is an atrocious person tbh.

[Jared____]

Talk to him 💁🏻

[Asker]

Yeah.. I'll do it tonight.