It takes me forever to finish. Please help?

[Anonymous]

I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 18. We have been together for 2 years now and sexually active for 1.5 years. We don't have sex often but we do oral and hj/fingering often. The only time we have been together I have came from sex once and a handjob twice. Never a blow job. She is my first partner and I am her first. I am on anti depressants and have been for like 4 years. I have masturbated at least 5 times a week for as long as I can remember. We do things to each other probably once or twice a week. I've always heard of guys cumming to soon but I can honestly last for an hour and I'm just too tired and give up. My girlfriend doesn't mind but I'm so frustrated. I don't even feel like a man. How am I going to have kids one day when I can't even cum in my wife? I've laid off the masturbation but it doesn't seem to help. I am circumcised. What do I do? I am so frustrated :( Every time we do stuff I have to masturbate to finish and even then it takes 20 minutes. It even takes me forever to masturbate when I am alone if I don't have a visual aid.

[burlen]

You are experiencing a condition called delayed ejaculation. Your brain has created a new neurological map of sexual attraction caused by excessive masturbation to porn. The fleshlight is only aggravating the condition.

The condition is reversible once the individual abstains from porn, masturbation, or porn and masturbation for 30 to 90 days or more. See: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap and https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree

I had the same condition; I could not climax inside my girlfriend's vagina. For more than a year, I could not achieve an orgasm during sex. If I do it'd usually be via a blowjob, and many instances I won't even orgasm except with my own hands.

After some soul-searching, I realised my asexual ex-girlfriend caused my condition. You know asexuals have no affinity to sex. In two years, I binged on porn and masturbation, which she was perfectly fine with it. Not knowing it would later rob me of my ability to orgasm via penile-vaginal sex.

To reverse my condition, I had to abstain from masturbation, porn and sex with girlfriend for 90 days. There is another treatment programme that recommends abstaining from porn only for 30 to 90 days. Another programme recommends abstaining from masturbation and porn only for 30 to 90 days.

But I chose abstinence from porn, masturbation and sex with my girlfriend for 90 days because I wanted to completely erase all the neurological maps of masturbation to porn orgasm. I wanted to get back to the man who used to orgasm in a vagina in under 20mins.

Trust me the 90 days challenge of no sexual release is mentally, physically excruciating but rewarding. By day 21, I was experiencing a compulsive attraction to my girlfriend in ways I have never ever had for any girl. Other experiences include blue-balls, random erections, and frequent morning wood.

By day 45, the sexual tension and attraction to my girlfriend were unbearable. She never gave in to my sexual urges and frustration. On day 100, which is the day we had our first sex after the 90 day programme, my girlfriend revealed how he has never felt such an overbearing sexual attraction from me or a guy.

[kaylaS91]

I don't know how much your girlfriend is to blame. Each person is responsible for reaching their own orgasm for the most-part. Also, I see that you're depressed. Does that mean you're on anti-depressants?

Those are major downers on a sex life of any part. Killing either your libido and/or ability to orgasm so.. that's more than likely the main culprit here.

[Asker]

It's defiantly not her. What she does feels amazing. I am on anti depressants and was even before I was sexually active so I can't really tell if those are the cause. Should I talk to my dr?

[kaylaS91]

yeah I'd definitely bring it up with your doctor. He might be able to switch you to a different antidepressant that has less severe effects on your sex life. Either that or you can just learn to better manage the symptoms you already get. For example, if you take these pills once a day, you could take them right after sex versus before so that their dampening effects on your libido or possible ED issues will be minimal.

[Anonymous]

What antidepressants are you on. They commonly cause sexual problems, including problems orgasming, with sex drive etc. talk to your doctrine, I'm sure there's a different you can try

[Asker]

I'm on Zoloft. I have been for years before I started becoming sexually active. do you think after that long it would still be causing issues? Or is it due to the masturbation :/

[sarabear1122]

You need to talk to her and figure out the best solution. Don't leave it up to her, because you don't want her to feel bad, and you also want to be satisfied. Talk to eachother about new ways to try things, tell her and show her physically what you like. Communication is key!!!

[Baggz]

Get off your meds, antidepressants normally keeps your seratonin level in check. Depending on strength and how it acts on your physiology. I used to take those to calm me because I can be extremely violent and confrontational due to PTSD, bit it fucks up with my momentum in bed.

[Joc4Position]

I'm the same way. We just different bro. I lost my virginity at the same age, and I've always been like that too. There are a couple of positions that can get me off, but other than that nothing. I have to masturbate to cum and I've had sex plenty of times without cumming. It takes me some time to masturbate and cum even with the chick too.

What you can do is explore more. Do different stuff and see what turns you on the most. Other than that look at the bright side. There are many guys out there who cum too quick.

[KawaiiPie67]

Yeah, sex can be more complicated than a lot of people will admit. I thin ur issue is more uncommon for a guy, but I have noticed more and more guys complaining about this. Maybe not watch porn for a few eeks?

[Joc4Position]

That doesn't work. I think it's more common than people think.

[felicia11111]

maybe you are too tense? like you're thinking about trying to cum so hard it pulls you out of the moment. Try to relax maybe even drink a couple of glasses of wine to loosen up, but first of all enjoy yourself and have fun

[Anonymous]

If you're masturbating by yourself, you could stop doing that or at least reduce the frequency. That might help. Instead, do it together with her with her as an active participant. You can still be in control, but let her help you. Don't be a stick in the mud. Be sexually creative. You don't have to cum in her unless you're trying to have children together. Try cumming on her instead. Personally I like my husband to cum into my mouth for me to enjoy swallowing.

[Anonymous]

I. have the same problem as you. You're right to lay off the porn.

by the way antidepressants are very bad for this. I ended up telling my doc and she put me on one that doesn't have that effect.

[Anonymous]

Did you know... Anti-depressants are prescribed off label to prevent premature ejaculation?

From experience I can tell you if you masturbate a lot it desensitizes you. How is your girlfriend going to keep up with her mouth when you're hammering away on your dick with your hand 5 times a week?

She can't feel what you're feeling & she is inexperienced making it far more difficult for her to make you cum.

Stop masturbating. Stop masturbating. Give it a few days, maybe a few weeks and you'll be ready to explode in her mouth. You have a girlfriend who will suck your dick. You should be able to get away without masturbating for a while.