Sexual Relationships
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If he asked for a naked selfie, does it mean he's keen?

So im in a relationship, im actually engaged... and a few months ago i started having some wildly sexual dreams about my fiances friend. we have all been part of a close group of friends for about 7 years now, and i always felt a sexual tension between me and this other guy, but never really thought much about it! Until these dreams started happening. So one night i sent him a text to tell him im dreaming about him, he said it happens and i shouldn't stress too much about it! I then told him id love to act on these dreams and he replied saying hed love to help me with them. he then also asked me for a naked salfie, but im not into the whole selfie thing, naked or not! lol Does this mean he is also thinking about me or was he just trying to take advantage of the situation? We see eachother quite regularily, but never alone, so we havnt said much else to each other about it. Im wondering if he thinks of me too?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Why are you having these thoughts? Maybe because you are human. The "Grass Is Always Greener" effect might come into play here. You haven't been unfaithful in deed yet , just in mind. Break off the engagement and explore your sexuality with other people. Maybe give yourself that one last fling before the final commitment. Act upon your impulse and just do him. Or repress your desire for this other man, suck it up and be faithful and a good obedient little Wifey to your Fiance. I know what I'd want if I was this other man. The picture? The vast majority of women don't understand just how visually orientated men are by our very natures. Our fantasies are usually primarily visual. These photographs allow our sexual fantasies to go into high gear. Yes , we masturbate to these images and fantasies , even men with fantastic sex lives masturbate. That's OK , women masturbate and fantasize too , you just do it differently. I am Master to a long-distance Sub and we have exchanged photos and it greatly enhances what , at least for now, our sex life has to be. But above all , do what feels right.

  • It means he's immature. No naked selfie. Find a different boy.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well first off, you are cheating on your husband. Unless he's okay with having an open relationship than you need to rethink that engagement because from the way you're talking about this, mentioning cheating on your fiancé so casually and barely even addressing it, you are starting to cross over Into sociopath territory. You don't seem at all concerned about what you're doing to your fiancé, worried he'll find out or worried you will hurt him. You actually sound like a giddy high schooler talking about her crush. I think that you need to be single and are not ready for a marriage. It sounds like that guy is interested as well. No way to tell if he was interested before you messaged him, but I'm sure any guy would be interested in the chance to have sex with a woman.

    • i am ofcourse concerned about my fiance, and I have addressed this in several other questions posted on this site! its not that i dont care about hurting him, but i have to wonder why i am having these thoughts?

    • "but I'm sure any guy would be interested in the chance to have sex with a woman" Do you want to take those words back... cause I find it disturbing

    • @IceEverest you're right, I phrased that wrong. She asked if we thought he was interested and I was trying to say, I'm sure he's excited because most straight men, at least that I know would be pretty happy if a girl were telling him she wanted to act out her sex dreams with him, you know? I'm sorry for the way I phrased that.

  • It's one thing to have these thoughts. It's another to act on them. If you aren't strong willed enough to refrain from acting on them, you should not be getting married. Rethink your engagement if you are seriously considering having an affair. You are not ready. Maybe that's what those dreams are trying to tell you.

    The fact that you are so casual about the whole thing is actually very insulting to yourself and your partner. That you could so easily say "I'd like to make these dreams real" with HIS FRIEND is disgusting.

    Seriously think about why you're doing what you're doing. You are not very connected or caring about your fiance to even CONSIDER this seriously...

  • What I hope he's thinking is that he can get some incriminating evidence against you and tell your fiance' because you're shady. You don't deserve to be with the guy you have now and if he's cheating on you, it's your just dessert.

    He might be thinking of you as well because I know there are some really selfish repulsive guys who would take advantage of their friend's girl if they could.

    So it's possible either way... though I really hope it's the former.

  • i love how you've completely dismissed the fact that you're having fantasies about a man who ain't your fiancé to begin with. shouldn't u be asking us how the hell to take control of this situation so ur relationship doesn't go down the drain?

    • Thank you for your honesty. I have already addressed the whole cheating debacle on another question i posted here. you are right though, i should be asking how to save my relationship! I dont want to be and have never been this kind of girl! Im just very confused about myself these days. So what would you suggest? how do i get these thoughts oput of my head so I can fully focus on my relationship and the man i love?

    • no worries. i see, maybe it would have been good to post it for anyone who doesn't understand the background. i would suggest simply investing the energy u have more into your fiancé. always think of why exactly it is ur engaged to him and no one else. remind yourself everyday, especially if he's a wonderful catch you might never have again. spend more time with him. be romantic with him, have fun with him. when you're alone, even write down the special moments u shared, details of your day together and your hopes for the future. when you see your own thoughts on paper, it's a very different experience to how they play out in your head. keep channelling those positive feelings and this other dude should fade away from your mind in that kind of way.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 12

  • Yeah I think it's pretty obvious that he's keen on helping out in betraying his friend and your fiancé. He probably has thought about you in the past, and would act on it given the opportunity which you just flung the door wide open to.

  • All it means is that he (and yourself) are too selfish to consider the consequences.

  • A boy asking for a naked picture , the first thing that should go off in your head is a imaginary light bulb that tells you that its disrespectful. Whatever if he's your boyfriend but there are certain levels someone shouldn't cross.

    • fair enough... although im sure he knows that what i want to do to him (referring to my dreams) is also not very respectful.

    • What do you mean? Not respectful to him in a bad way or nasty way?

  • Umm are you not sexually satisfied with your fiance?

  • Take a selfie, maked, but you don't have to show anything. It will drive him crazy.

  • His peen is keen

  • this is so stupid and disrespectful

  • It means he wants to expand his fap bank, adding yours, exchanging it with other fappers.

  • I think he is trying to save his friend from marrying a whore by showing him the naked selfie that you're gonna send him.

  • If he is a great friend of your fiance... maybe (there's the possibility) that he is following your game (you started, he didn't developed, and after that you tried your luck again...), just to get a proof about you, and deliver it to your fiance.

    • @OrangeBoy well said... I was thinking the same thing. Get the proof and show it to her fiance. It might be the best thing he ever does for his buddy by the sounds of it! I would appreciate a friend doing that for me.

  • Unless your fiancée is involved and this so some kind of sexual game the three of you are involved in (and I assume it isn't from what you are saying) then you shouldn't be communicating with other guys like this. Maybe reevaluate your relationship with your fiancée before it's too late

  • He's probably just thinking that it would be extremely easy to talk you into a situation, either sending pics or sex in which he could get his rocks off, nothing more, I wouldn't jeopardize your relationship for it.

  • i was also in this situation and also exchanged pictures with a friend. it is risky but if i could say, with the chance of being judged, it was nice. risky yes, but nice. only thing is that the bag of peanuts could spill and then the circumstances are there to deal with.

    • what did u do in the situation? did it end with the pictures?

    • I carried on chatting to her, we end up sex messaging each other and yes, there were pictures sent, she had really nice boobs and an even better pussy. no it did not end there, we actually ended up playing around, she jerked me off in the pool, gave me foot jobs, I fingered her, we rubbed clothed against each other. at a point I even rubbed my exposed dick against her, she had a pants on at the time, but we did not go any further than that. we did not fuck each other.

  • Be loyal or breakup. Dont be in a coknfused state.

  • I feel very sorry for your fiance.

    • I totally get that. i hate that im having these thoughts. I need to be sure he is the one i want to be with! no excuse for what im doing though, i know this!

  • Keen for a wank yeah

  • I think you should stop trying to cheat on your fiancé. It shouldn't matter if he's thinking of you or not, you shouldn't be entertaining the thought at all.

  • He doesn't love you if that's what you're thinking. Sure, he thinks you're hot but no man is capable of loving a woman who they know is a cheater.

    • i dont love him either, so i guess thats a good thing. i was wondering if he is dreaming about me too. sexually. Guess I will have to ask to find out!

    • Or, ya know, he could be talking to your fiancé at the same time about how dishonest you're being. Which is what a real friend would do. People do that.

    • i know for sure he isn't. I trust him, and i know he wouldn't do thhat. bbut he also hasn't said to me that i shouldn't. he is my friend too... so mayb he feels more loyal to me? i dont know. but the fact he hasn't said anything to my fiance is also making me wonder...

    • Show All

  • these hoes ain't loyal

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