Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend lasts less than a minute, is it me?

He might be my first but even I know it's supposed to last longer than that. And it's quite disappointing, because it doesn't really do anything for me. He's not that young, he's in his early 30s and he's had sex before and he says that never happened to him before. So I don't know, is it me? Am I doing something wrong? The very first time we had some wine beforehand, would that be it? Stress at work? He works on wall street and I suppose it's very stressfull job.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • OH honey, if he's a wall streeter it's pure stress, he can't perform or even wait in his world. He has to make calls all the time working the market. He probably can't separate his work from his pleasure. I doubt it's you. But he needs something to relax him, but then if you relax him to much he'll go soft on you and then feel worse. If you love him he loves you then it's something else, maybe work, maybe he just isn't into you that much because of all the pressure. It's crazy, just don't opt out for chemicals or wine or other stimulants. He needs to talk with someone who has been through it if he really loves you. He obviously can't talk to you because you are not the object that is getting him off.

  • It's not you.
    He's very nervous about that 'first time' with you and has a not enough control on himself. Use condoms (diminishes friction) and maybe you can make him cum before you have intercourse.

  • not at all. he's just sensitive.

    My ex used to finish in less than 30 seconds, two minutes if I'm lucky. he just finishes easily (was with him for a year)

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm in my early 30s and I don't have that problem. I know how to control myself. But very rarely does that happen to me but I'm lucky enough to go for another round. I think he should start out by giving you a full body massage & then once you are relaxed enough and have an open mind (nothing distracting you from what's actually happening to you) he should start teasing you a bit. A guy should always put his women first when it comes to pleasure! 😊 Lol.

    • He does that and stuff like that. But even so, I was expecting more from the actual penetration part

    • Yeah. Practice makes perfect. Maybe skip foreplay on him. No bj's or handjobs before sex. He can please and tease you but make him wait until it's time for penetration. But obviously you have to make sure he's ready for that. Lol.

  • It's NOT you. He's responsible for controlling himself. I found that distracting myself with sad things allowed me to hold off until I was ready to pull the trigger.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 15

  • He was probably just really excited and couldn't control himself. He just needs to learn to control it and last longer for you. Sometimes if you don't do it in a while you can lose control more easily.

    If this is a consistent issue then it's a problem but better luck next time I guess.

  • Your boyfriend don't have the stamina of an male pornstar that's for sure. :D

  • Oh it's not the job! Unfortunately, he's probably lying - it would've happened to him before, it shouldn't be anything to do with you. But it's because he feels weird about it - maybe keep on asking if there's anything you can do to help or see some specialist

  • Fun fact about fat guys. They last longer in bed thanks to certain hormones

  • what @bertmacklinFBI said

  • You're just so hot he can't help jizzing his pants. And you take that as a negative? Women are never happy.

    • Well it's not exactly satisfying for me

    • Hold on, it's your first time ever? What did he say about it?

    • It was, I've tried it a few times since. Not much really, just that he was sorry and it doesn't usually happen so fast. It was kinda disappointing for me

    • Show All

  • yes its you, he is so turned on by you.

    okay it's probably got something to do with his tolerance too lol.

    • so what should I do about it?

    • i haven't a damn clue. continue practicing? sex gets better with practice

  • One minute? Wow. I mean... wow. Even with stress and everything I'd hold back wayyy longer just to enjoy the person I have sex with. What happened next? He rested for few minutes, you guys had awesome foreplay (again) to warm up and then he lasted for an hour giving you the good stuff? If that didn't happen then you have a reason to be disappointed.

  • some men are like that
    he needs to learn how to control

  • consistently?

    you pick winners.

  • It's because you're hot and he's lying about it never happening to him before

  • Tell him to start jerking off. It will help him last longer with you!! Right now you just feel to dam good to him. He needs to desensitize

  • He busts a nut too quick because he really likes u

  • No, i think he does wrong lol
    One minute is soo less, No any girl can get satisfied:)

  • No, it's definitely he himself. He is hyperactive ( in his brain), and sex is controlled mainly by the brain. On the other hand you can try to find ways to prolong the act. Lubrication, thicker condoms, less movements or he has to pleasure you oral, with his fingers, thighs... try it out, there is always a way if you both are in love

  • No it's not you. We don't work like that. We just lie and say we do to make the girl feel better. He's a one pump chump. I've never understood it, my first time lasted like an hour. And since has been longer. But yeah, he's a one pump chump.

  • Here are some options:

    Have him masturbate more frequently, and tell him to edge his way through it as it will build a longer time span.

    Kegel exercises, not just for women. It helps guys have more control over orgasms.

    Lastly, before sex try giving him a handjob/blowjob let him orgasm and when his refractory period is done, get back to having sex. Most people tend to last longer after the initial orgasm.

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