Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend is a 36 year old virgin, should I be worried?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 weeks. Just the other day, we both were talking and joking about our past experiences. Well I asked him how many girls he's slept with, and he told me he's still a virgin... this has me worried. It's even more weird that a man his age hadn't had a girlfriend... I'm his first girlfriend. I asked him why he put himself in this position and he told me "I've never cared about women until recently". I think I should dump him, I mean he's very nice but this is kinda strange to me?
That is weird
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Most Helpful Guys

  • one of the absolute most evil thing a woman can do to a man is look at him and think "well, no other woman has fucked his so far, and there must be a reason for that, so i'm not going to fuck him either."

    if men are promiscuous, they must be playboys who don't respect women, and any woman looking for love or commitment should look elsewhere, because all he wants is sex.

    if men are virgins, we must be defective, broken, and if we appear normal, then whatever stains us must run deep. we're avoided as if we're all 8 and cooties are real again. no matter our personality, looks, or what we can offer, we are labeled as "creepy." Maybe he wanted to work, or do school? maybe he was fat and no woman wanted him and he finally got himself in shape? maybe he wasn't ready for a committed relationship but saw sex as important and figured he'd just wait until he met someone, and hot throw it away on a whim. In the end, his reasons don't matter. You find out he's a virgin, and because of his age, you assume there MUST be some reason for it, and you see him like he is diseased.

    • This kind of perpetuates the stereotype that men having sex with as many women is encouraged by society.. Though its unusual for both men and women to be virgin at that age unless they are religious. But shy people exist..

    • @MrNameless I was pointing out how both promiscuity AND virginity are looked down on. I was not defending promiscuity, i was pointing out that the same people who look down on promiscuous men also look down on men who are virgins, which is senseless and cruel.

    • MHO right here! Damn bro u said it!

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  • I don't get why that should even matter to you. Even if he is a virgin because he didn't manage to get a girl to sleep with him - so what? What does that even say? Nothing! I've been myself not very lucky with girls. Not everyone manages to have sex with a different person every month. Especially as girl this must come as a surprise to you cuz if you're a woman, you just go out and literally any random guy would fuck you if you look half-decent. As a guy it's already much harder and if you don't care too much about girls or if you're just a little shy, you've already lost the game. As a woman, you can act like a total bitch and you still get some cock. It's really a huge difference. Him being a virgin doesn't mean anything. It doesn't say anything about him as a person except that he is maybe a little shy or that he doesn't really know how to talk to women. Why would that be a deal breaker?

    • More importantly, why would he want to have sex with a different person every month? Obviously he's the serious type, values personality and doesn't like games. He's a keeper.

    • @dipta Some people like having sex with many different people. Being promiscuous and being a serious type or valuing personality aren't mutually exclusive. Not every promiscuous person is some redneck white trash hill billy.

    • Well, to put it grossly, I don't think a guy who has been inside who knows how many women would value our intimacy as someone who carefully chooses their partner. Since for them it would just be a normal occurrence and, personally, I think they would be more prone to stray in case something happens. That's just my personal view though.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I understand that everyone is different and some people don't pursue sex or whatever. I find it odd. It's not necessarily something that would be a deal breaker for me but to each their own. I don't see anything wrong with it but it could be detrimental to your sex life if it makes you uncomfortable and if he's unwilling to participate in something you enjoy. So it's up to you, if it's a deal breaker to you I would totally understand it but on the other hand you can help him learn and it may bring you closer together.

  • It's unusual. However, it's just being a virgin. Unless, he's saving himself for his sister or for Hillary Clinton to come to their senses and put for him. It's just not that serious.

    Honestly, take it as a complement. Most guys have already stuck in any available, moist or not, by the they're 20. He chose otherwise; if I were you, I'd be flattered.

  • It can be both a little weird and also not matter. Just see more about why it is. Maybe he had social anxiety for many years. Maybe he has a low sex drive. Maybe he was sexually abused and it took him a long time to overcome it. Maybe he was vastly overweight most of his prime years. Etc. it could be many things.

  • I don't see why him being a virgin or never having had a girlfriend, in itself, would be reason to worry.
    I guess you have other reasons making you no longer wanting to be with him, though.

    If you feel like such things are a dealbreaker, then by all means...

    • What if this really is the only reason she's considering ending things?

    • @Toad-1 well... in that case, the relationship is already good as gone anyway, no?

    • Do you think this is a good reason to break up with someone?

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What Girls & Guys Said

24 66

  • You should , be happy that his penis hasn't entered thousand of caves. I dont know why you complaining when you already stated he's really nice.

    • But isn't it strange? Maybe there's something other women have seen from him and that's why he's never had sex? He's nice but I'm afraid of something happening in the future, or maybe I'm overreacting

    • Honestly Asker, you ARE overreacting! I say continue to date him, and then u can sexually defile him and mold him to your fantasies. :)

  • He's a Wizard already, he has no time to worry about virginity while spelling out his way to success.

  • I'm gonna take your side on this one and agree that it is possibly a deal breaker. It's pretty damn easy to get laid, and you only need to be somewhat normal to score any kind of relationship. If all else fails, then hookers are always available.

    So 36 years old and never got it in? He's either gay or mentally unstable. Either way, you're probably asking for trouble venturing down that path. I'd pass if I were you.

  • I think that he was waiting for the right woman.

  • Why would that worry u? As long as he is into u then who gives a shit if he hasn't had a girlfriend before? Think of it this way, u get to teach him exactly how u like everything done lol u will have an edge lol but anyways don't most women hate it when guys have slot with a ton of girls? So what's ur concern here exactly?

  • Because this guy might have been waiting to do it with the right person...

    It's rare, not weird and if you find this a deal breaker then maybe you aren't the right woman for him.

    • Yup I agree, promiscuous girl and virgin guy is usually a relationship combo that doesn't work often.

    • She already proved that she isn't the right person... If I had a girlfriend who thought of dumping me because of this I would dump her myself

  • why the hell is that weird? what is wrong with women these days? -.-

    • I know right? :\

  • Dump him.

    • ... why? He hasn't done nothing wrong.

    • @Prof_Don Exactly. She thinks she should dump him because he's virgin. I guess in that situation the dumping him is the best for both of them. 100% incompatible.

  • He may have been really busy in his past life and didn't have time to care? Is he the kind of person to have sex after marriage?

    • He doesn't have any kids and he never went to college... I'm thinking he's been a virgin because he couldn't get a girl to sleep with him.

    • How should he have kids?

    • /2asker, but why should that matter to you? That he couldn't get girls to sleep with him?

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  • If you can accept a relationship with a man who is possibly/somtimes asexual, stay with him. If you can not accept it, even though you will have a strong relationship, you should dump him.

  • And I thought that *I*was late to the table!

    That said, he probably has been hurt by women (emotionally) in his past. You should be flattered that he loves and trusts you.

    It is weird, but SO WHAT?

  • It's a little unusual but it shouldn't matter.

  • If that's your deal breaker, you are going to have a hard time getting a serious relationship. I mean, it's weird, but I don't see why that means you have to dump him. And he could've lied about it, but I would think a grown woman would value honesty over how many places he's stuck his penis.

    If you dump him, do it because you don't see the relationship going anywhere. It's possible he just hasn't met anyone that he felt comfortable enough to share his feelings with or that side of him.

  • How the hell is he supposed to get a girlfriend if no girl want to be with him BECAUSE he's never had a girlfriend?

    This has to be the most ridiculous reason to not be with someone. Especially since like you said, he's very nice. It's strange, so what?

  • Maybe it's a religious thing.
    He had his heart broken and put all his time in his work until finding you.
    He could have been abused as a child, and always had trouble connecting, opening up.

  • I don't find it worrisome but it all comes to the reason why he's still a Virgin

    • What reason would make you think twice that he's still a virgin?

    • @Toad-1 if it's by choice (religious, or simply not wanting to sleep with someone he doesn't see a future with...) I actually find it respectable but if it's only because he couldn't get laid then eh...

    • makes sense

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  • Perhaps some people aren't mindless simpletons who's only goal in life is to get together with someone.

    I'm 24 and I still don't give a flying fuck about marriage or anything of the latter... I prefer to focus on my work.

  • Hmmm, just fuck him and see what happens?

    • That's what I'm saying... she should stop pondering and defile that guy. ;-)

  • This is why honesty to women isn't a great plan. It might be strange but does it matter? What real difference does it make?

  • thats your deal breaker? lololololol

    • Yeah, it kind of worries me. I mean why hasn't he at least had a girlfriend by now?

    • You can even ask to yourself that why don't have have any boyfriend. If u had a boyfriend then why don't u had sex with him. So all ask to yourself. Even I don't cared about girls.

    • @Anilkumar11 this is exactly why some guys LIE about their sexual experience

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