Husband jealous of me fucking more people in our open marriage?

[Anonymous]

So I have been together with my husband for 7 years. Our sex life has always been our weakness. I have always been very active before him and I want it a lot and hard and wild. He is the opposite. He hasn't been active before me, doesn't want it that often (at least not after our first year) and isn't so skilled that he can really give it to me. The last years have been terrible when it came to sex. I did everything I could, asked him what I could do to make it better for him and did it with all the enthousiasm I could show. I even acted like he was giving me the time of my life but he didn't buy it. He never felt like it, went flat constantly (and he is already smaller than average) and once it was up, he came in a minute. He then honestly admitted that it could be that he has to be turned on again by other people, which I understand. So he suggested to try an open relationship, since we're great on every other level (we really do love each other). I was happy he did. The past year my sexlife has gone from zero to the best I could immagine. It's casual sex but it works really well for me. I've had quite some different partners this year, but my husband zero. Now recently I ran into an old school buddy who looked great, we had coffee and afterwards sex. Apparently he is a colleague of my husband, which he didn't say even though he knew who my husband was. Also me and my husband decided not to mention we have an open relationship cause it's really difficult, so the people we have sex with think we cheat but we (normally) don't do it with people close to us. Now this one guy bragged at work about fucking my husbands wife (with every kinky detail). So now my husband is jealous since I get fucked any time I want and he can't find anyone. I said that's normal since I'm a 28 yo girl, and I'm still willing to let him do me anytime he wants and I'm sorry I let his colleague do it but I didn't know. A one sided open marriage is a no go. So how do we handle this best?

[redeyemindtricks]

Oooookayyy

Well, first, I has mah doubts about whether this is real. Mostly because of this:
"Now this one guy bragged at work about fucking my husbands wife (with every kinky detail)."

yeah, that ^^...
That's not really a thing that happens, in the real world. That's a thing that happens in porn, and that's about it.
Especially "with every kinky detail"... sure, hon, we believe you. LOL

__

But, okay, fine, let's suspend disbelief long enough to address this as a real situation. Because, if it IS a real situation, the solution is pretty damn simple.

You wrote:

"So now my husband is jealous since I get fucked any time I want and he can't find anyone"

Those last 4 words, there...
You know who CAN go find prospects for him, right?
Yep.
You can.
And if you give half a shit about this man, and you actually want to make this "open relationship" thing work... that's exactly what you'll do, AND YOU WON'T PLAY YOURSELF UNLESS he does, too.

If you can't do that, then there are two options: (1) see whether yr husband is into that whole cuckold/hotwife thing -- haha, good luck with that -- or, (2) have the decency to end things NOW, and stop humiliating the man ffs.

[Bandit74]

MHO right here

[funny_strange_man]

It happens more than you think

[Winesteed]

Try finding a couple to swing with! Or become a quad- four partners all together existing as one big relationship.

There are a lot of people throwing a lot of shade here, but monogamy isn't the only game in town and open marriages and open relationships DO work, but you have to have a stronger foundation. You two love each other, and he suggested this because he cares about you.

Maybe find out what his kinks are and find the things he likes. No matter who you are, you are someone's fetish. Yeah, in my opinion it's easier for women to find NSA partners than it is for men to find NSA partners, so you both might really benefit from having a swinger couple that you're friends with. There's companionship, there's closeness, there's safety, and there's the newness of having sex with someone else.

[xHoneyxBeex]

This is why I don't believe in the concept of "open" relationships and marriages. I just don't ever see it ending well. It seems to me like one person always ends up feeling hurt, jealous, or insecure. I would say to end the "open" aspect of your marriage and work on your sex life with your husband. Ultimately though, if you aren't compatible, you're both unhappy, and you can't come to any compromises, then it's possible that the marriage as a whole may not work out.

[MoonlitSonata]

Sounds like the open marriage isn't going to work out. Isn't there couples sex therapy out there?
How open are you guys with each other about what you want? Could be a lack of communication? Maybe try masturbating for him and show him what you want?
Sounds like he could have underlying issue feeling inadequate in size or experience that causes him to have trouble relaxing and getting into it.

I'd say having a long talk about it, therapy would be your best option.

There is always of course the case that you guys are just not sexually compatible.

[yahowa13]

Get divorced. Why are you together in the first place?

[Asker]

because love and marriage go further than sex?

[yahowa13]

I know some people want to believe that, but sex is actually a huge component of marriage. A component that can easily destroy a marriage... something it sounds like you're starting to experience

[truthbeknown]

Well, I commend you on trying to anything to fix your married and make it work. He will always be jealous because sex is more your thing and not really his. I don't think he has enough drive or a high enough kink factor find an open partner anyway. Is there anyway you could find him someone? I know that sounds weird. Any chance for a threesome to spice things up? Is he into that? Other than that, I do recommend professional help

[greenstar1991]

I you both agreed to an open relationship and you are having more sex that just the way it goes. It is not your fault you are able to get so much action and he can't thats just the reality of an open relationship. Maybe a way he could feel better is to try to arrange a threesome but other than that I would just tell him he has to deal with it and you should just keep on enjoying your sex.

[NJ_Casanova]

You should just have one friends with benefits it would make it better for you and him. He can't complain if he doesn't want it that much.

[mutedaisy]

I have no idea why guys suggest open marriages. Girls in the relationship find guys a lot easier than they will find other women. It's just how it is... A friend of mine agreed to this and her marriage ended in a divorce. Have you tried marriage counseling yet? It might be a better investment than an open relationship at this point.

[ManOnFire]

This sounds ridiculous.

[abundantlyrich]

Find him some girls

[Bandit74]

It just sounds like a mess, I dont understand why you're still married.

[Intraluminal]

What about doing an occasional mate swap so he gets a practically guaranteed chance?

[This_is_my_username]

Well this is a normal marriage...

[Sabretooth]

pass.

[This_is_my_username]

@Sabretooth hahaha!

[Sabretooth]

sounds hot, sure, but i don't think think anything good will come of it in the long run. not only would i lose favor with god, but i would be hypocritical, and really don't need the stress. frankly, i have more then then enough of stress and regret...

[JSmuve]

Oooooooooouch. My condolences to your husband. Guy got the raw end of the stick on this one. Like @abundantlyrich said, find him some snatch to climb into.

[sparkly-crystal]

A marriage should never be open!!! It is a holy covenant and if you guys are not monogamous it should come to an end!!!

[Asker]

well not everybody follows your religion.

[Sabretooth]

and look at the screwed up mess you're in.

[Winesteed]

Whoa, whoa, whoa there! I love your devotion to your religion, but you gotta check your privilege because we're in the real world. Some of the guys (a LOT of the guys) in the Bible had MULTIPLE wives. Let's keep the two thousand year old stuff out of the modern day. Not everybody follows what YOU think that your religion looks like.

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed well, luckily, people like sparkly-crystal and i won't have to suffer if you're wrong.

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed its history: www.jw.org/.../

[Winesteed]

@Sabretooth You go to Heaven for the view, but you go to Hell for the company. That's not my book, and it's not my religion. So! The argument of "holy covenant so you can't do it" isn't exactly valid here. You're enforcing a rule set that not everyone agreed upon.

[Winesteed]

@Sabretooth also: what did you mean by that link? Did you mean to say "It is history" and then show me the link, implying that everything in the Bible is considered historical fact? Or, did you mean to say "Its history", giving me a history of polygamy in biblical times?

[sparkly-crystal]

@Winesteed what is the purpose of staying married while committing adultery?

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed both. i'm bible scholar, but i can think of 3 predictions off the top of my head. 1: But know this, that in the last days+ critical times hard to deal with will be here. 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, 3 having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, 4 betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride, lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 5 having an appearance of godliness but proving false to its power;+ and from these turn away. 6 From among these arise men who slyly work their way into households and captivate weak women loaded down with sins, led by various desires, 7 always learning and yet never able to come to an accurate knowledge of truth.

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed 2: 2 Timothy 4:3 3 For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the wholesome teaching, but according to their own desires, they will surround themselves with teachers to have their ears tickled. 3: For as they were in those days before the Flood, eating and drinking, men marrying and women being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark,+ 39 and they took no note until the Flood came and swept them all away,+ so the presence of the Son of man will be. as you can see from the first 2 scriptures i've copied, the 3rd is is already happening now. like, premarital sex, for instance, young ones are cautioned against it every single day , yet, millions still do, because of this, the risks are well known, risks like: teen pregnancies, stds, damaged reps, and harder time trusting in other relationships, yet, many still practice premarital sex-not unlike those in noah's day.

[Winesteed]

@Sabretooth Again, you're arguing a ruleset that we didn't agree on. Your book is not my book. Your rules are not my rules, nor are they the rules of everyone else. You are permitted to feel and think the way you want, but at the end of the day the laws and parameters listed in the Bible do not have inherent legal standing in the US just because they are in the Bible. Also: none of those things you just listed give historical precedence or evidence. This just says "Here are things that could happen! Human beings exhibit human behaviors!" Where did you study? I'm curious because where I'm from there are a lot of institutions devoted to Biblical learning and I was wondering if I would recognize the institution.

[Winesteed]

@sparkly-crystal What is the point of getting married in the first place? A marriage is a legally/formally recognized union of two partners in a relationship that conveys them legal privileges. People get married now for their own reasons, and they stay married for their own reasons. Not all of those reasons are religious in nature, so the argument of it being a holy covenant doesn't stand.

[Winesteed]

@Sabretooth You're referencing the same book over and over to make your points. The Bible. Which, in my opinion, is a book of parables with dubious historical significance that was not intended to be taken literally because it is a book of parables. Logically speaking, it's no different than me referencing the book Ben and Me (which is a book about Benjamin Franklin and a talking mouse) as a way to run my life and the lives of others.

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed and they have done so well... though, the question being acts kinda casts doubt on that statement, now doesn't it.

[Winesteed]

@Sabretooth Are you trolling me and I just don't get it? Eh! I just realized I can't get too mad about religious beliefs that I don't necessarily hold myself. It would be like people getting mad when I'm like "Derp dee doo, I dance naked and commune with nature and find the turning of the seasons to be sacred!" You do you, @Sabretooth and @Sparkly-crystal. You keep your religion outta other people's lives and they'll keep theirs outta yours. Sorry for hijacking your question, Asker!

[Sabretooth]

@Winesteed i don't troll.

[sparkly-crystal]

@Winesteed what legal privilege are you talking about? Married couples pay higher taxes.

[Winesteed]

@sparkly-crystal Married couples are entitled to receive social security and medicare benefits for disabled spouses. Married couples also receive veteran's benefits as well. Also, a spouse can inherit an entire estate without tax consequences. You can also get on your spouse's health insurance and get a family rate should you choose to do so and have private insurance. The "marriage penalty" only tends to happen when people have similar incomes when they marry and file jointly- this typically doesn't happen when you have disparate incomes.

[QuestionMan]

Perhaps try couple's counselling.
I think he may have some issues that are preventing him from performing.

[Water2008]

Get a fucking machine and have your husband work the controls and watch you scream. That's could help the marriage...

[Dimmu]

I'm seeing and end

[JennieF]

Too bad.

[jayzee]

Just do whatever you love n talk to your hubby about it

[Mr2kinky]

You need to try and find some girls to fuck him.. Maybe some threesomes.. They could lead to a girl wanting to fuck him on the regular. Help him out..

[Anon_af]

How did you feel about the colleague telling others about the details of sex with you?

[Halotestin]

stop slooting around

[BeatingTime]

sounds like a woman who was riding a hot guy cock carousel until she was forced to settle down with some beta cuck, who she doesn't find sexually attractive.