Never orgasmed - is there something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

i am a 19 year old female and have never orgasmed, either by myself or with a partner. I think something is wrong with me :( my boyfriend doesn't know... I fake it, because I don't want him to think he is doing something wrong. he's amazing in bed! but I just can't come :( I'm giving up hope. I have tried masturbating but when I get to a certain point I just stop... like I just kind of get desensitized or something... I'm satisfied I guess, but I want to feel the big O that everyone else gets to experience :( I have tried vibrators and such but to prevail. my boyfriend is under the impression that it just takes me a while to come (eventually I just fake it) and he gets frustrated that it "takes so long" for me to orgasm. I don't know what to do :( am I the only one with this problem? is there some kind of magic pill or something that can make me come lol I'm desperate! help me please

[Johneyson]

There is no 'magic pill' but there are a couple of things you can do to make it easier, and there are some techniques that make it a lot easier. Also, pray that your boyfriend doesn't find our your faking it, cause it will break him, and he will be very upset that he's not making you feel good (it won't matter what you say, he will be upset, NOT with you, with himself)

Extend the foreplay, get yourself more turned on. Get yourself relaxed, have your boyfriend give you a massage or back rub. Don't jump right into it (though it is good to be spontaneous).

Don't rely in intercourse to have an orgasm, because the changes of that happening are next to none. Most women can not orgasm through intercourse. Now, you mentioned you masturbate. What do you do, do you play with your clit or rub your g-spot (If you don't know what a g-spot is, it's an area about 1 1/2 to 2 inches in on the top of your vagina, it's slightly bulged and rougher than the surrounding surfaces). These are about the only two ways that a woman can orgasm, through a lot of stimulation of one (or both) of these. And if you use the vibrators, be sure you use it on one of these two places, and there are vibrators that are specially designed to get either the g-spot or both of them, so maybe try those. And be sure your boyfriend tries these after you find out of they work.

[Johneyson]

Yeah, having that kind of stuff happen can really f*** you up, I wouldn't be surprised if that had something to do with it. Sorry

[Asker]

I thought so... :(

[Johneyson]

Well, all I really say make sure that you find someone (or are with someone) who you are comfortable around, you really trust, and who is willing to give you the time and understanding you need. However, if the fact that you can not orgasm is that much of a problem, you can see a psychologist or a doctor; they may say the same thing, but a psychologist/psychiatrist may have an answer for you or a way to help. There's not much beyond that though. Good luck

[l-hedoniste]

Some women grow into their orgasm in their late 20s-early 30s. Maybe you're one of them. Be patient.

In the meantime, come clean. He may not be wild about the missing orgasm, but deception is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I'm the same way. I have only been able to come alone from a vibrator on my clit. And I understand the pressure you feel about it because you want to make your boyfriend happy. My ex would get really sad and mad at himself about it because he felt less of a man I guess. I really really wanted to do it for him but the more I tried the more my mind was distracted.