Sexual Relationships
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Should I tell my husband what happened at the swingers club we go to?

Just to clarify I'm not asking what people's opinion is of my husbands and my lifestyle. We are swingers and that's what we enjoy. Last night we were supposed to go to a swingers meeting that we are a part of but my husband had to work late so I ended up going by myself and he knows that. There is 10 people in our little swingers Club that we have, or I guess you could say five couples, so I was kind of a 9th wheel last night. At our little party they have what's called the glory wall. It's basically the same thing as a Gloryhole but it's just a long wall in our friends garage with a bunch of holes in it. All of the girls line up on one side and the guys line up on the other and if you know how a Gloryhole works it's the same idea. The guys don't know which girl is sucking them and the girls don't know who they are sucking, kind of anyway, you can sometimes tell because all the guys are different shapes and sizes and we know whose dick is whose. I was Sharing a hole with a really good girlfriend of mine, we just kept taking turns. My husbands only stipulation with the whole swingers thing is he doesn't want guys to finish inside me without a condom on. Well while me and my girlfriend were taking turns we both knew that it was her husband's dick that we were sucking on At one point. The guys are supposed to tell you when they are about to finish although they never do, while I was sucking on her husband he started cumming inside my mouth. I tried to play it off like I enjoyed it and went ahead and finished him up but I knew my husband wasn't going to be happy about it. I don't think he would get super pissed off or anything but I'm wondering if I should tell him that this happened or do I not say anything and just let it go? There has to be a great trust in this lifestyle and I want to be honest with him but I hate when he is upset with me. What should I do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'll just point out that you shouldn't be letting these guys fuck you without a condom on at all (stis, pregnancy from precum, etc.). That said, it was ambiguous as to whether you were talking about the guy finishing in your mouth or not. Anyway, it was disrespectful of him to do that: you could certainly have mentioned it at the time. In any case, I don't see why your husband would be angry at you when the other guy was to blame. The only problem telling him is it might affect your relationships within the club if he gets pissed off (which he is right to do). But then maybe you guys should be asserting a few boundaries anyway.

    • thanks for mho :)

  • It's going to suck. (no pun intended) But you need to be straight with him. Maybe you don't say that you know who it was, but that you were at the wall and it happened. It's kind of the other guys fault if the rule of the party is to say something.

    Do you think your girlfriend will keep it a secret that it was her hubby who did it? You don't want that info getting out after the fact.

    • What are the other "house rules" of this party? How did you find it?

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't understand that whole lifestyle and I would never, ever want to share my boyfriend with anyone else. That being said, my best advice to you would be to be honest. Obviously trust is extremely important here, even more so than in "regular" relationships. You need to be honest with him in order for it to work. Yes, he may be upset. But I'm sure he'd rather hear this from you than hear about it from one of the other members of this club. I would assume that transparency is very important here in this type of relationship, so because of that, you should tell him.

  • I wonder why you debate telling your husband if that is he's one stipulation. Do you believe he will stop you enjoying this lifestyle because of this slip-up? You took it a step too far and your betrayed your loyalty to your husband, your marriage and the one thing you agreed upon. He has the right to know what happened and he has the right to decide how he feels about it. You never know, he may have an indiscretion of his own to reveal.

  • You said it yourself, trust is everything with that lifestyle.
    Tell him. Tell him it was sudden and that it won’t happen again. Maybe pull that guy to the side or call a meeting and try to put an end to that behaviour if it’s something that is agreed upon prior

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You are right that this kind of lifestyle requires a lot of trust. While I have absolutely no experience with this kind of relationship, I would advise to tell him what happened. It shows that you really value keeping everything out in the open. He probably won't be very happy, but he'll be glad that you aren't keeping secrets from him.

    • Would you tell your husband if that happened to you? :D

    • @Dexamethasone Yeah I would

  • I am Not One, hun, To Judge, I try and be Diplomatic on Here, dear.
    Silence is Golden. xx

    • *He Already KNOWS you went, What would he Expect? xx

    • I mean yeah, its like giving a cop a gun and telling him not to shoot it ever... Where there's smoke there's fire... :)

  • It's a details. Can you live with it keeping it a secret or do you feel the need to tell it? Sometimes little details are better kept secret and keep on having a great sex life together. It's not that you where penetrated and kept the guy inside you.

  • Well you didn’t do it on purpose so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty about it.

    Did that guy know your arrangement and do it anyway?

    If it was an accident on both ends I don’t see any reason to tell him. I also don’t see why he would get too upset about it when you probably already had the guy’s precum in your mouth either way as well as the wife’s saliva.

  • Inside anywhere? I thought you meant guys can't finish inside you (pussy) without a condom.. either way tell him, just so you know if it's a problem or not

    • It was just a bad moment.. What is gonna change if she tells him the truth? Her husband have already gived her the permission to have protected sex, so the only difference is the condom..

    • @Dexamethasone it's her husband.. how I see it is if you have to ask if you should tell YOUR HUSBAND something or not then you should.

  • Like you said, there has to be great trust in your lifestyle. You have to tell him. If you don't, it all goes to shit.

  • tell hime

    believe me, it will taint ur relationship if u dont

    • him*

  • I would tell him but why would he care if another guy came in your mouth? I can see him not wanting another to cum in your vagina but I don't understand your mouth.

  • Forget about it. That is what you should do.

  • If it's bothering you, chances are you should tell him. Just tell him it was an accident and that you want to be completely honest with him.

  • I would suggest that you just no mention it. If you had no issues with the cum, then it is over and done. If your girlfriend was there, does she know that he came into your mouth? If she is not upset about it, then you should not worry, either. In fact, take her aside and tell her that you "owe her one." with your jusband the next time. Mybe you two could, as we say, compare notes. It is a swingers club, and these things are sometimes likely going to happen. It is a chance that you take.

  • You need to tell him, and he needs to accept that this is a risk that accompanies your lifestyle at times.

  • It was an accident.

  • It depends on the kind of huy your husband is. Based on what you write, he doesn't seem jealous. Thus why not tell him?

    • You can always add: 'Accidents happen.'

  • I think you should be honest. You both have a very open relationship and it is built on trust. You don't want it coming up at one of these dates and then having to explain so I think if you're truthful and tell him quickly, that would be best.

  • Sounds to me like he meant inside your vagina? What's wrong with the mouth?

  • Tell him. In the end he will be happy to have you in his side.

  • Accidents happen and that's what you should tell him by the way if he's ok with you sucking an another guy he should be ok with this too

  • What in fuck's name is this?

  • I used to be in the swingers scene with my ex wife and the lead up was facilitated by open and honest communication and the fun was ensured by it.

    He will have no issue with this, so, tell him

  • Show More (22)

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