Is slut shaming wrong?

Question

I use to slut shame. Not go out of my way to call a promiscuous woman a slut, but would just look down on them. I considered the unclean and loose. I think after being in the military surrounded by guys, I have changed. I listen to the guys brag about cheating, sleeping around, and slut shaming women who engaged in sex. I started to think, I am being unfair. Why do I down these women when all these men do the same and get rewarded? Why am I making these girls feel bad about their sexuality?

I don't think anyone should sleep around male or female but I can't call a woman a slut anymore. I feel bad. Some of these girls are sweet and are just experimenting at a young age. If men don't get shamed, I refuse to shame another woman. 

I think it also makes it hard for women to be in touch with their sexuality because they are always afraid of being called a slut. For example, I don't sleep around. I am actually engaged but I am still scared to share my sexual desires with my fiance because I fear he will think I am a slut. I have always fantasized about threesome with 2 or 3 guys but I won't date tell him because I am afraid of what he will think. We are both conservative. I have never even had an orgasm. Is it because I am afraid of being in touch with my sexuality? I am 31 years old. Sometimes I think maybe I should have experimented in my 20s, instead of being a good girl. Maybe I'd have an orgasm.

Anyways back to slut shaming. Any other people start thinking slut shaming is wrong?

FakeName123 · Accepted Answer

Depends. Thinking less of sluts aka promiscuous women is NOT wrong. Making it clear you dislike promiscuous behaviour is NOT wrong. Bullying and discriminating is though.

Why is it ok to look down on promiscuity (this also accounts for promiscuous men) ?

Promiscuous people have been linked again and again to...
... mental instability and higher rates of mental illness
... higher rates of STDs (It's a numbers game)
... be more likely to be a single parent (numbers game)
... have higher rates of abortion (numbers game)
... have less stable relationships and higher divorce rates
... have increased chances of having been in an abusive relationship
... be more likely to cheat
... be more likely to become addicted
... be more likely to come out of a broken household.

Want some sources?

cdn.freedomainradio.com/...iage_Partners_Study.pdf
-> Page 19-25. Especially Page 24-25 is quite relevant.

www.everydayhealth.com/.../...eaten-longevity.aspx

medicalxpress.com/.../...partners-linked-drug.html

news-releases.uiowa.edu/.../061411paik_study.html

www.barbararisman.com/.../...earch_final_paper.pdf

www.ideals.illinois.edu/.../Saroj_Hardit.pdf
-> Promiscuity is linked to sexual aggression.
-> Page 59. "The number of sexual partners was positively related to parental violence."
-> Page 70. "As the number of sexual partners increased, so did the propensity to sexually aggression."

https://www.bradley.edu/dotAsset/165862.pdf
-> Page 4. "Perhaps the strongest personality correlate of risky sexual behaviour is impulsive sensation-seeking"
-> Page 8. Promiscuous people are more likely to be impulsive, have low agreeableness, low conscientiousness, sensation-seeking and a higher level of sexual infidelity.
-> Page 14. "People who describe themselves as more unfaithful tend to have personality traits linked to a lack of trust and empathy (i. e. low agreeableness)"

ThisDudeHere · Accepted Answer

I'm very simple - I don't slut shame. A woman can be my classmate and be a slut at the same time and so long as she performs well, I don't care. She could be my coworker and even if she sucked a dick on lunch break, I still wouldn't care so long as did her job well didn't impede my progress. I could even be a friend of a slut, so long as she doesn't cause me any trouble. Heck, maybe even a best friend.

But I would not date her, much less marry her. Have sex.. maybe. If she was tested. But not date or marry. I don't have to shame or hate a person to not find them as an appealing potential partner. I don't prefer sluts much like I wouldn't prefer little girls or old grannies. They're not dating game for me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it's amazing you stopped slut shaming. I think Im one of the girls you'd shame. Im 18 but look a lot younger due to my round cheeks, braces and shyness. Im generally making safre and sane decisions and am a bit of a prude when it comes to provoking clothing.
However, I also am a curious person and like to try out things. I've had a boyfriend, I had two one night stands of which one was with a guy and one with a girl, I had a threeway and since I have needs I have a friends with benefits now which goes fine. I kissed 2 people at one once, done body shots... all only one time, to try. I want to settle down with a loving partner as soon as I find one. In daily life Im just a normal medicine student who tutors kids and paints to get by. I consider myself honest and caring and my sexual experiences shouldn't define who I am.

StarlightSwift · Accepted Answer

It is most definitely wrong. There is nothing wrong with sex and if someone wants to have sex with a hundred different girls or guys they should be able to do so with no comment made on them.
Everyone needs to stop it.

Also just talk to your guy. Explore and have fun. It may be scary at first but trust me you will have a lot of fun.

KRIEL55 · Accepted Answer

yeah i think slut shaming is wrong, i can't deny i used to do it too, but after thinking about it all more i realized that even the word "slut" is a harsh one. i mean i still dont agree with sleeping around like bringing a new guy home every night, but its none of my business and it isn't my body so i just dont care.

Kiwedin · Answer

I'm glad you've had a change of heart and I think you're right. Girls has just as much desire for sex as guys do, so I don't really understand why one gender gets shamed for it and the other doesn't.

MarieLovesIt · Answer

Slut shaming is wrong. The term is wrong. The words are wrong. And if you don't go around answering the question - "How many men have you slept with?" No one will know how many people you've slept with. IT"S NO ONES BUSINESS

fondue · Answer

Sure. But dude, if you a ho, then you a ho. Doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl. No ones telling you to stop, but that's what you are. If you don't wanna be called that, then you shouldn't have done what the word entails.

NJ_Casanova · Answer

I think 90% of the time it's done when the girl wasn't even acting like a slut. A girl that is a nympho isn't a slut... she just likes sex.

Guys getting rewarded for cheating? Being a Slut (male or female) isn't a good thing and isn't something to be proud off. Sluts usually have an emotional/sexual abuse in their past that they are using sex to feel better.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Shaming is wrong, unless the actions of that person affect negatively other people. Sleeping around isn't wrong unless obviously not taking any precautions, so slut shaming, both men and women, is wrong.
BUT, calling someone a slut doesn't mean you're shaming them, you're just describing them. If they don't want to be seen as sluts, then they shouldn't sleep around.

MaiNameIsSunshine · Answer

I think slut shouldn't be so negative, you have sex with lots of people, who gives a fuck. People who slut shame must have very sad and pathetic lives if they feel superior to people for something as stupid and irrelevant as someone's sexual partner count...

abundantlyrich · Answer

Only if Oprah thinks it's wrong

Echo123 · Answer

It's wrong on every level.

Sexualchrist · Answer

Who is to say yes or no? I mean what is "wrong" in the grand scheme of things?

oldanddecrepid · Answer

It is wrong to put anyone down for their sexual prowess. If you like the person and who they are, then how many partners they had in the past is irrelevant. Don't dwell on the past.

Bards · Answer

Yeah mind your biss

Jersey2 · Answer

It isn't wrong. It is a valid opinion.

4465loveyou5577 · Answer

yes it is

takumii · Answer

A slut is a slut. Going out of your way to call someone a slut is wrong , yea.

2tall2handle · Answer

I hate to say it to being a veteran of our Armed Forces but karma is a bitch. You looked down on women for so long and slut shamed them, and now you are asking if it was wrong? Yes it was wrong of you, then and now. If you have a problem with being in touch with your sexuality, well that is just tough. If you have a daughter, and I truly hope you do, I hope you raise her to not repeat your mistakes.

TheInvisibleMan · Answer

When a guy sleeps with lots of girls he is a king, when a girl sleeps with lots of guys she is a slut. That's the way it is and the way it should be

lopflodin · Answer

its not wrong but not right either

Deadpool7699 · Answer

if a girl has a high sexy drive and likes to have a lot of sex then thats up to her, as long as no one gets hurt then just let people get on with their lifes