Sexual Relationships
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Guys, how much of a turnoff is it if a woman cannot cum during sex?

If you were seeing a girl and were sexually active with her, but she could not cum during sex, would it put a dent in the relationship? How severe? I've never cum from having sex. It's not something that bothers me too much. I still enjoy sex. But I've started seeing this guy and he aways thinks that I don't enjoy having sex. Every time he says this, I correct him, because I always enjoy it. But he tries to go down on me for foreplay and it does nothing for me. I have mentioned to him that, if I can't even make myself come from touching myself, how could I tell him how to do it? He asks me what to do and I try to give him direction to make it feel good for myself but I never get close to cumming. On another note, I would like to further our relationship and become more serious. Today I asked him if I could be his girlfriend and he asked me why would I want that? He said I wouldn't want that because he has no time, no money and is not attractive. I told him none of these things matter andt that we both can make an effort to have more time for each other. And then he says he doesn't want to rush into anything and likes where we are at right now. Could it be that I am not satisfying him sexually and that could be one of the causes of him not wanting to get serious?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've been with women who could not cum. I tried everything and then accepted it. Out of dozens of ladies, there was only one whose trigger I couldn't pull.

    Cowgirl tips
    Here’s the way I have found, with the help of a very cooperative girlfriend, that a woman can ride her man all the way up the mountain to multiple, increasing powerful orgasms and ultimately, squirting.
    • He needs to understand that he can help with this position by grabbing her hips and helping her move. At first, leave to her own devices but as she gets more and more aroused, he should become stronger and more and more forceful in moving her back and forth.
    • Put him on his back and mount up with you on your knees.
    • Slide him in and settle in so you’re comfortable.
    • Rock like you’re riding a horse, slowly at first and faster as you get more aroused.
    • When you’re ready for him to help, reach down and put his hands on your hips. For effect, you can beg him in your sexy slut voice to help you.
    • When you start to get close to cumming, move like you’re trying your best to break that thing off. Of course, you won’t but the point is to not hold back. Just go crazy.
    • When you’re right on the edge, tell him to do you. He thrusts up as powerfully as he can and holds it with you impaled as deeply on his cock as possible, perched on his erection. He also forcefully tilts his hips and slams his shaft into your G-spot.
    • As you cum, don’t even slow down. Keep going and you will cum over and over, each time increasingly intense.
    • If you have The Big One, as I call it, you may very likely squirt so if there’s a gush, it’s not urine. It’s female ejaculate. Keep going until you’re completely done.
    Here are a few ancillary suggestions:
    • Pee first so that if you should squirt, you can be confident it’s not pee.
    • If you’re into S&M, have him forcefully pinch your nipples as you’re starting to cum.
    • He can slap your tits around if you’re into that. One girlfriend of mine liked to be slapped while she was up there with me telling her what a trashy slut she was for being up there in the first place.
    • Some ladies like their men to reach around and smack their ass while they ride.

  • It's not a turn off to me it's actually a turn on since you have never came before because then it'd be my mission to make you do so. It's not only about touching the right places but the connection from two people like how he makes you feel about him. & for a girl like you to say you'd work with a guy who has no money or so called time is a great thing in my opinion not many females in a guys life has that mentality. And also after he said he isn't good looking you still said you want to make an effort to make time. I like that but tbh with you should see how long he is looking to keep your relationship like this because if he just wants to keep having sex with you but doesn't wish to push forward as a couple I say leave him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think as long as you make it clear to your boyfriend that you enjoy sex even if you don't cum from the actual intercourse, he shouldn't have much issue with it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It depends on how hard I am trying. I am a guy and I will honestly admit that there are times I just want to finish and be done, so I give no attention to my girl. However, I am super turned on my a girl cumming for me. I go whatever technique she needs. Mouth, fingers, penis... a combo of the 3. I haven't needed to, but you may look into getting a few toys.

  • He is probably feel like less of a man because he can't satisfy you. That's why he was putting himself down.. looks, money, etc.

    • So vibrators have never done anything for you? Did you ever go to the doctors and see if there could be anything done.. or if it was due to a medical condition? I would probably react the same as him... blaming myself wondering what else I could do.

    • I' ve never tried a vibrator

    • That's usually the best bet for most girls to have an orgasm. I'd start of with that and see how it goes. Toys allow you to explore find where you "buttons" are that need to be pushed to get the most pleasure. Dildo's also allow you to be able to find what angles, how deep and how hard of a stimulate you need to get an orgasm and this will allow you to better guide your man in pleasing you.

  • He is worried that he isn't satisfying you. If he can't make you cum, then he will be afraid that he will lose you to someone who can.

    I used to be the same, I couldn't make myself cum. Then I got a tool, and I can't stop... it's addictive. So much so, that I no longer need the tool... I figured out how to get by without it... it does take longer though.

  • It doesn't turn me off at all. I just want to make sure she enjoyed herself. That's the main thing. If she's satisfied even though she didn't cum then hey that's great. I don't always cum during sex either.

  • Well as long as I cum , might eat her out she should cum like that

  • If intercourse was not sufficient to ring her bell, I would try making her dance on the tip of my tongue, while reaching inside to rub her G spot. To date, that has not failed.

    • that's a good idea. May try it. If he even wants to still.. :/

    • The double stimulation of being licked, while at the same time penetrated (fingers) and the G spot being given a good workout, usually has a woman screaming after a couple of minutes.

  • With the exception of my first, I've never slept with a woman that couldn't cum from sex.

    Some may need extra work, and not cum every time and some may need the assistance of specific stimulation. But they all can cum during sex from penetration alone.

    If I came across a woman who couldn't, all I can say is: "challenge accepted".

    • Sometimes I feel like I am getting there through intercourse, but the intensity never goes anywhere.

    • Sorry to hear that. I hope you find your way there soon.

  • It's not a turn off as I know not all women cum from vaginal penetration.
    That's when it's a good time to get my tongue game up. lol

    • Ever been with a girl whom oral didn't do anything for?

    • "Ever been with a girl whom oral didn't do anything for?" No.

    • Well you're talking to one now

  • I dont get turned off if they dont cum, cause I always do. *looks at camera, smiles, and winks*

  • No, I would eat her out so she can become satisfied. I know most girls can't cum during sex.

  • Maybe you should purchase a vibrator, even if to use when only on your own. Try to stimulate your g spot and your clit at the same time. I sometimes struggle to cum when with a partner and end up getting self conscious about it which doesn't help. You need to relax and be comfortable and get lost in the sex and not wonder about whether he is enjoying it because he probably is. Try to learn what works for your body on your own, possibly with the help of toys, then you can either introduce the toys to the sex or try to get him to replicate it.

  • I don't have sex in relationships anymore so I don't care.

  • NOT A TURN OFF AT ALL

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