Should I forgive my boyfriend for sending a dick pic to another girl for the 2nd time?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly two years (officially) and we were seeing each other for a while before that as well. We get on like a house on fire and rarely argue, the only thing we argue about is, the fact i have caught him flirting/sexting with other girls online. I love him dearly, we are in a serious relationship so as hard as it is I don't want to just throw it away. He promised me things would get better and that he would stop ( he has had stress and anger issues in the past and said that this is his way of letting off some steam, which I found difficult to believe) I then found two pictures he had sent to another girl of his penis while sexting with her. Again his reasoning/excuse was that he was stressed and he new he shouldn't have done it. I forgave him (maybe this was stupid of me) However, I have found ANOTHER separate conversation with a completely different girl on Skype ( by now i probably look like a psycho looking at any of this but its hard to trust him ) he said that it was a fake account, like those fake cam girls that make you sign up to a site to get your money, and he was just being a troll with it. BUT THEN, I looked at this conversation on the computer instead, and there was , you guessed it another DICK PIC... Is this normal behavior? Should I have not forgiven him before? Is this just going to keep happening? Am i being irrational? Help :( I am fed up

[WillyWonker]

You can't control how people treat you? But you have control how you wanted to be treated, and who you want to be in relationship with.

If you think you are worth more than what your boyfriend is treating you, then dump him. You must decide how much you are worth, and how you should be treated.

If your boyfriend can't loyal, and treat you with respect, then he is not worth your time, and its time to move on.

This guy has problems, he will continue to cheat on you, and not be loyal to you. The best predictor of behaviour, is past behaviour. If your boyfriend has, sent dick pics twice to other women, then should immediately send alarm bells ring in your head. If something is telling you, there is red flags about this person, it means, stay away from them, or removed them out your life.

Lets get one thing straight, forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's happened. Rather, it means that you're giving yourself permission to move on with your life.

Forgiveness is a choice. Don't wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.

Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you.

Don't cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you.

There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, "I'm letting this go. I'm not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore." You can find closure in forgiveness.

You can't change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn't receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now.

[WillyWonker]

There comes a point in time where you may have to draw a line and say, "That's it, I'm done. I'm not mad at you. I withdraw my feelings, I withdraw my emotions. You just go do whatever you're going to do because I'm not going to live like this anymore."

[WillyWonker]

Don't try to make sense out of nonsense. Rationalizing your cheating spouse's behavior or sympathizing with him/her is pointless. It is never OK to go outside of your relationship to solve problems within a relationship. It's not your fault.

[WillyWonker]

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot. If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior. Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

[WillyWonker]

Every choice you make — including the thoughts you think — has consequences. When you choose the behavior or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior and thoughts — which will take a lot of discipline — you'll get the right consequences.

[WillyWonker]

You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

[WillyWonker]

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

[WillyWonker]

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

[Realistic07]

There is a lot to cover first off he dose have a problem an he needs to see a therapist for his problems, that being said you are a good woman with a whole life ahead of you don't waist your time with him. Let him go because what is going to happen is that eventually his online life will become real life and then he's not just considering cheating he's really cheating on you. I know you love him, but sadly his problems will break you if you let them. It's not your fault and when things like this happen people tend to blame themselves saying if I just loved more, or tried harder, or worked harder some how it would have gotten better, but that isn't true his problems if you stay will take you for a ride and like i said break you you'll give everything of yourself to him and in the end lose. He needs help and hopefully he finds it, but you need a good man that won't put you threw all of the heart ache and pain because trust me when I say there is more to come if you stay a lot more. You're a good woman and you deserve better for all of your troubles and if he can't see his problems and fix them which very obviously he can't then you need to leave him; you have a whole life file of opportunity and potential happiness don't waist it with someone that is just bringing you down. It's time to let him go and move on. The choice is yours and I'm sorry that i may be to blut in my answer. I wish you luck in what ever comes an that you find happiness. Good luck dear and I hope even for the bluntness that my word can help you in some way.

[AthleticMom]

He lies in order for this little head to have fun with no concern/respect for you... it's the little head that believes wrongly that showing himself off is good advertisement for sex with a gal when we don't think that way, perhaps just the opposite. His big head loves you but not enough to stop lying to you, choosing his little head over you!

Thus, YOU really have NO say in choosing to stay/leave this relationship, his big head has already dismissed you and worships his little head that must stray from flower to flower in self centered satisfaction, regardless who it hurts.

You are with this guy b/c you think you can't do better and enjoy the entertainment and satisfaction BUT many friends have found that with a little more educations & a lot more shopping for fun, they hook a better guy pronto.

[Faithh090]

You deserve better, you should leave. That also counts as cheating you know. And once a cheater, always a cheater. That isn't the first time too, youve caught him many times, forgave him, and he is taking advantage of you and taking you for granted. He knows that he will get another chance, so he will keep doing it.

[tinyclit]

In the overall scheme of life, who cares about sexting and dick pics and why would anyone care about them. Let him have his fun. Other than such trivial stuff of no practical importance, how's your relationship going and how's your sex life. Those are the important things.

[heywat]

Nope you leave and stay away. You can forgive once but a fool you must be to forgive after that

[francesca93]

NO!!! Break up with him immediately

[KattFeesh]

Drop him and move on. If you want a long discussion I could give you four pages long but drop him and move on is enough. An immature schmuck is your boyfriend

[princess88126]

Get rid of him. He'll never stop this behavior and if you allow yourself to be a part of this any longer you will become very depressed over a dirtbag whose not worth your time. Also, if you think about it it'll just get worse. What if he starts having sex with other girls too? You never know. Drop him.

[abc3643]

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Let the recipient of the dick pic have him.

3.5 billion other men, honey... You deserve better. If I was your dad, I'd rip into this boy so bad, he'd be mentally scarred so bad that he'd stay single for the rest of his life just to avoid the possibility of a future father-in-law.

[Cookie7]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what the hell is wrong with you?

[GingerGuy]

There's nothing normal about sending a dick pic to anyone in my opinion. Maybe, and I do mean maybe a girlfriend if she wanted it but otherwise I don't get this behavior. I have never, nor would I to anyone.

[CHARismatic110]

Well I probably wouldn't have forgiveness him after the first time, but definitely not after the second time. But that's just me. I have zero tolerance for that stuff

[April10]

I wouldn't have forgiven it the first time so you know what my answer to a second time is

[Intraluminal]

Yeah. Time for him to go.

[HeresJames1]

2 times? That's no mistake dear

[worldscolide]

I would leave the guy. He obviously doesn't respect you or the relationship. If the relationship gets much further along, one thing i can promise is he will cheat.

[genericname85]

lol i wouldn´t vorgive the first tim to begin with... why would your so do that?

[helloitsmethere]

For the second time? Umm no.
If he sees how easily forgiving you are, he will continue to do it.

[singlebee]

noppeeeeeeee !!!
see this is what happens when you give a cheater a second chance...

[singlebee]

"he has had stress and anger issues in the past and said that this is his way of letting off some steam, which I found difficult to believe" hahahaha i laughed so hard on this one

[Amy54]

I would end things with him

[Aqesiro]

Let him go.
Let him roam free.
Free to send dick pics
to whoever it may be.

[MandDabour]

No. You must cut off his penis so he never do it again.

[helloitsmethere]

I know you're joking, but there is no need to go all Lorena Bobbitt on this case lol

[theegreat017]

I suggest you move on, it's enough

[401005]

He's not being faithful or doesn't have any respect for you or your feelings! I would let him go after the first dick pic to be honest...