1. Life has significantly more mental push and pull factors today than it did 30 years ago. Most young guys are working, going to school, maintaining a hobby, paying absurd bills, meeting deadlines, and getting most of their time robbed by smartphones. Technology makes life both easier and more complicated.
2. Mindset matters. There is so much information being fed to our brains through media outlets that we don't even realize we shape our behaviors based on that information. Most of the time, we trust what people say without verifying and it might actually be false information. Negative information has a disproportionate impact compared to positive information, and that makes people generally more pessimistic. That mindset of pessimism makes people underachieve. For guys, hearing about gold diggers, size queens, and cheaters is extremely demotivating.
In short, our brains have not fully adapted to this dynamic technological environment. Those that adapt quickly will get girls. Those that don't will struggle. That's it.
They went where feminine women went to. They simply didn't grow back in the newer generation.
Why? There are various reasons. From the shaming of masculinity (see @Zendrya comment how its so evil to ask a girl for her number. lol), single mothers and lack of male role models, the wealth and decadence of our society making the role of men less valuable, "equality" (and ignoring the sexes are very different biologically and psychologically), etcetc
Its a very complex topic to get into all aspects. Personally I find it a shame since I see a lot of beauty in masculinity and femininity complementing each other.
There is nothing wrong with asking for someone's number as long as you know them. I won't give me number to a stranger who is male or female.
My**
@Zendrya I get random woman's numbers all the time. Its very common. I would talk for about 10 mins and get it.
I don't want to sound mean or anything, but men are becoming douches. Guys hardly open doors for girls or let them walk in to a room first, or even on the public bus, they don't give them their seat. Whenever a guy does these little motions, I instantly feel so grateful and I'm happy that guys like these still exist. Part of this problem could be the misconception of feminism. A lot of women are overly feminist. Some people think that feminism is women who want to be above men. It is simply the demand for equality. And that's what confuses men. But a man will always be a man, and a woman will always be a woman. Therefore, it is a man's world, and to women, it's always cute to have a guy open doors for her, etc... At least I know that I feel grateful.
How is a man giving you his seat equality?
but that is sexist if you aren't opening doors for men or letting men have your seat. It isn't a man's job to bend over backwards for you if you aren't willing to do the same. If you are willing to do the same then your opinion is valid and no longer sexist
What does this have to do with guys not trying anymore?
It's not necessarily that they're "less manly", it's that the times and styles are changing. Maybe men are embracing femininity a little more, sure. But is that REALLY a bad thing? To say they act "feminine" makes it seem like you assume boys are meant to act like dogs and that women are just skirts to be chased.
No one likes to be cat called or hit on in public 24/7. I for one am happy that people don't treat me like a piece of meat. It's not called being less manly. It's called having a little respect for yourself and the women around you.
Men are men, and women are women. There is nothing wrong at all in showing interest and talking with them. Guys don't even try anymore because we're looked down upon for showing interest? Wtf
Maybe your question seemed more geared that way. There's NOTHING wrong with showing interest, but there's also nothing wrong with leaving it be if they seem busy or uninterested 😛 The main point was: don't ever think it is "less manly" to use a little restraint sometimes. I think men have this idea that they HAVE to be overtly aggressive and 'masculine' 24/7. I say let those more compassionate feels come over you once in a while. 😂
Its ok showing restraint, but what's not ok is the fact that so many girls complain about guys not talking to them, and guys asking questions like 'is it creepy if I talk to her'. See that's the problem.
Come now I think you are generalizing to all guys what you have seen your incompetent friends doing. If a group of girls in the mall, strolled down the aisle we are hit on from all sides within 15 minutes. The description of your friends actions comes right out of some teenybopper movie maybe perhaps, "Revenge of the Incompetents." I go to school in Manhattan (NYC) perhaps I am seeing a skewed population but then again perhaps you are in a skewed population.
Cause guys don't have as many testosterone hormones in their genes anymore. It all died when people got to busy eating food and not being ready for war. (google it: decreasing testosterone over decades)
Basically guys turns more and more female :) maybe we turn more manly^^
Jokes
i'd say maybe the phone is to blame? or your friends just weren't interested in them? why don't you ask them and find out?
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!I think once upon a time, men knew what to say and these days they don't. Otherwise I don't know what changed. Rejection has always been there
Your friends so not have to desperately pursue any girl they see, maybe unlike you they have standards and don't want to get with anything that moves, they probably were not their type which is fine your friends are allowed to have a choice in who they pursue and they don't have to flirt with every female they see just to impress your shallow judgmental ass. I hope they find out what a shit friend you are and drop you.
Wow just wow. My friends were saying things like 'Yea she's hot' yet they didn't even try talking to one of them. Also get a life, it's girls like you who put guys down for showing interest. You're toxic
You are toxic for constantly calling you own friends "pathetic". You don't deserve friends if you bitch about people you are supposed to care about behind their backs just because they are shy. You are a fake asshole not a friend to these guys I feel bad for them.
I said it's pathetic that showing interest nowadays is looked down upon and considered wrong. Learn 2 read ok? Um, I do care about them, which is why I'm complaining how stupid and pathetic it is that they can't show interest without being shamed nowadays. My friends would've at least said hi. I feel bad for you, despicable attitude, hopefully my friends and I avoid girls like you. Get a life
Yeah, back in your dads time they did the same thing. You got to be successful once before you tend to be open and confident. Its just a detail that is conviently left out by most.
Guys realized girls don't like strangers asking for their number maybe. Also possible your friends weren't interested in those girls
There is nothing wrong with showing interest, but now in todays time it is apparently Pathetic
interest is find. If you want to approach of a group of girls and say hi or whatever fine but if you don't know any of them and you ask for their number that is stranger danger 101 and now we have to worry.
Obviously you ask for the number after you talk a little bit. You have to try and guys have stopped trying.
you are shallow if you think all because they dont want to hit on someone means they aren't manly
1942: 18-20 year old men ran up the beaches of Normandy with bombs and legs flying everywhere, saving the world.
2016: 18-20 year old boys worrying when she'll text back and how to talk to women.
The dolphins are going to take over soon guys i promise you, we are sooo failing evolution lmao
as heroic as it sounds, they were destroying the world, not saving it. But you are right, our lifestyles have become sedentary and we are much less motivated in life in general now than before. We have become so caught up with nonsense like appearance, technology etc that we have stopped growing as individuals and this attitude is destroying people slowly.
@Vnmcisbddnow saving from Hitler mate!
I go cliff jumping almost died , and my friend went to hospital and almost became paralyzed. I have gone sky diving, and almost died spearfishing last week. I have gotten turned down by 148 women in person and 2468 now on online dating. Seven apps I am using. Working and college now. I am a risk taker I don't mind if I die, but I don't want to die a virgin lol. Working to become a rescue swimmer for navy next. Still never dated a women. I do better approaching.
I am from your Dad's time. We would have known the girls through school, sports, parties, friends and hung out. Random girls at a mall, a maybe. Girls dont generally like public place introductions. If I were your agre I would be hitting the dating sites. Firnd a few girls have a good time and then go through their firends list as new GFs. I tended to date one girl and then many of her GFs or at least people she knew. Make friends through friends.
Dude, you have to talk to people in order to make friends
Yeah, well I did just fine, seems that you are struggling... dude. Have fun with it.
I am struggling but at least I TRY, my friends don't even try.
Blame the media and our culture
cos they maybe wanted to hang out, and not hit on girls...
but then cool, you talk trash of your friends, and then think all guys need to be 100% horny lolol. cool.
Yeah showing interest in a girl and talking to her is being a pervert...
well from what you describe, they weren't really that bothered. who say they need to be?
Feminism. Asking a girl her phone number who decides she dosent like you and finds annoying is sexual assault nowadays. Men are taught to feel ashamed of themselves and allow women to have more power over men. That just leads to more men being taken advantage of. It's such BS.
Frankly, It is not 'manly' to ask for a girl's number. Not to mention that the girl might not have wanted to give their number. Also you're a young adult, if you want to date, then go to OkCupid or something like that. Being a man simply means that you take care of your duties in a responsible manner.
Okcupid sucks I deleted it haha. Didn't get one date or number from it 1000 turn downs from the site alone I do better approaching women.
Wow you're so manly because you talked to a girl.
he's a tru alpha
Lol actually those older generation screwed it for guys of now
Probably because they don't want to be called a "creep".
Wish I knew. The guys in my generation are little pussies no offense. This is why I like older men.
We need more girls like you who like when girls show interest
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