I personally wouldn't be offended if my partner asked, I actually would probably ask him how he wanted it... but some girls may be offended so you're good to stop and think how to be gentle about it. Could you tell if she had hair all over or if it was just on the mons area? Are you just concerned about hair functionally because of oral sex or is this a pure aesthetic thing?
I would say one way to be gentle is to give it a chance. And then before you say anything, you could say something like "I dont know how to bring this up, because I really don't want to offend you but I wanted to ask..." and then whatever you wanted to say. It helps to make it clear that you care about her feelings and make it clear you are asking her but not forcing her. You can bring up hair removal would help you going down on her and then say it's up to her but you wanted to ask.
Did not really see it, but i think she is only taking care of her bikini line. Ofcourse i'm not forcing her. As the one with more experience in the sexual intercourse, i'm used to trimmed/shaved pussy's. It's not that i think its disgusting but if we're gonna move forward with oral/sex i'm sure that i dont want a hairy pussy..
Okay, then I think it might help to say it that you think hair can look fine but does get in the way of good oral sex functionally and you want it to be good for her. Would you be fine if she trimmed instead of shaved? That might be a more receptive transition since it's painless and cheap and no razor burns. I almost wonder if you should just first ask her what she thinks about pubic hair in general. You might get an idea of why she keeps it. Some people are proud of it and others haven't really thought much about it. It could make a difference.
I was like should i let my belly moustache grow? and she was like no, maybe from there i can play a smooth game.
It depends a lot on why she doesn't shave. If she has actual reasons for choosing not to shave there, asking her to shave isn't likely to get any positive results. Personally, I don't shave down there. I trim, but I don't shave and I have a lot of reasons for making that choice. If a partner asked me to shave there, not only would I have to say no, but it would also be upsetting and make me feel insecure about it for the remainder of our relationship. So to be completely honest, having a partner ask me this might indirectly end the relationship.
In my opinion, the bottom line is that there is no "gentle" way to ask. You need to understand that by asking her to change something about herself, you are opening a can of worms that could possibly cause a lot of problems in your relationship.
So any suggestions, because if i wanna go down on her i like it trimmed / shaved if u understand me..
Are you willing to go down on her at least once before you ask her this? I think the gentlest way to go about this would be to do it once and not say anything. Then later, at a neutral time (i. e. not immediately after you go down on her and not during sex), let her know that you really enjoyed going down on her, but it would be a lot easier for her if she either trimmed or shaved. This makes your request seem purely practical, and not like you're totally grossed out by her vulva not being shaved.
I think the key word is NEW relationship. How new? All these people saying "tell her" "I'd do it for my boyfriend" ... I don't know...
To me, it seems like you haven't had sex yet. You said "put my hand down there a few times". I'd think you might want to wait a while to earn her trust and develope significant feelings for you before you start telling her how you prefer her lady parts groomed.
I wouldn't say it's rude, but it seems too soon.
I've had sex, she hasn't so im taking little steps and making her feel comfortable thats my most important thing right now. Making her feel comfortable, thats why i dont want to be rude with that.
LOL, I meant it sounds like the TWO OF YOU haven't had sex TOGETHER. In regard to that step in the "new" relationship. :)
Yeah maybe it´s still to soon, but she likes my handwork. And i´d fancy give it more to her but i can enjoy it myself more if she shaved herself..
You want it completely bald or just trimmed?
You can hint at it went watching porn with her... say, " Oh I love it when a pussy is smooth like that"... or..." I would go down on a shaved pussy all the time". This will give her the hint without being too rude.
You could just sent up an appoint for her... to get waxed, LOL.
As a girl, I would NOT recommend this. I think one of the worst things you can do is openly compare your partner to a porn star. That is not likely to have great results.
@samhradh_leannan I wasn't saying to compare it. I didn't say tell her, "why can't your's look like that", LOL. I was saying for him to point out how much he likes when they are shaved. Then what would you want your boyfriend to say? Just wax her while she slept;-P
I agree with @samhradh_leannan both your suggestions are terrible. First of all watching porn in a new relationship is kinda terrible idea on it's own. Then commenting on the girls in the video just makes it 10 times worse. And just make an appointment for her? That's ridiculous at least have the decency to tell her how you feel
The best option, to lead by example and the way I would approach things first is I'd shave.
if you are shaved and she feels it, then she will clearly think a bit about it "hmm. this guy might like it smooth and I have it au naturel"
she might question her choice and might even ask if you'd like her to shave
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Generally I'm okay with being told about it if the guy does the same efforts back for me.
If you wanna be nice about it just say, "I don't mind the look, it's just that it would be much easier and nicer to eat you out (if you do such things) if you shaved, and I assume it would be more pleasant for you to go down on me as well if I shaved."
If you're not already shaved yourself, then start by shaving yourself clean first. Then talk to her about shaving. You can offer to shave her. Use bikini shavers, not face shavers. Also use unscented shave cream so as not to irritate the skin. Keep a cup of warm water ready to constantly be cleaning the shaver with. Use multiple shavers if needed for heavy bush. :)
I would bring it up in a time you're not about to have sex, maybe when you're just hanging out or cuddling in bed bring up shaving down there. Ask if she prefers you to be shaved or trimmed and then move into what you're preferences are.
First of all, when you have sex or she touches you down there, you should be shaved obviously.
Second of all, I don't think there is a good way to bring it up before you've even had sex. It's something you can really only bring up when you're truly comfortable with this kind of stuff around each other. in that case, just tell her. In the meantime is this so terrible you can't live with it?
I can live with it for handwork, i know i like to give oral, only never gave oral to a hairy bush.. and i dont think i'm gonna like it.
You could ask her to trim I guess but if a guy asked me to shave I'd politely say no because I have sensitive skin and I'd get bad Razer bumps plus I'd be afraid to cut something. I'd never ask a guy to get a Brazilian so I'd hope my boy would never ask the same
I'd tell you to fuck off! It's my pussy and if I want the natural hair that grows around it that is what I will have. If you object to it go find yourself another piece of ass otherwise shut the hell up and fuck it.
I don't get why everything for women has to be turned into "it's my body, I'll do what I want". I mean if your partner would rather you shave it for sexual reasons, why not just do it? I feel like women get threatened by everything and turn it into a feminism movement.
@Melcart23. I know man. Its like an allergic reaction. Its nothing really harmless but the body thinks it is and goes ape shit and hell bent on destroying the allergent, so that more harm is caused than good. Thats how some of these feminazis are.
@slimstiffy lol it's so ridiculous.
Tell her it would really turn you on if she would let you shave her, or it would be a turn on if she would let you watch her shave.
talk to her about it, wht can we, as a third party, tell u?
exactly
Just tell her you prefer it shaved. It's her choice, but you have the right to ask, since it's your choice to go down on her.
just ask her. LOL
Ok... whats your last name? Lmao!!!
Ask her if you can shave each other. Make it casual if she's not ok with being shaved you will know by how she responds
You shouldn't ask her to do this. It's her body and you should accept it the way it is. Having pubic hair isn't a problem that has to be fixed.
but if you find hair gross for example then its not an unreasonable request. and if they say no you just dont go down on her.
Wait until you are more intimate, then ask her if she would like to trim her bush short, offer to do it for her! It is more comfortable for her to trim than shave.
Asking her to trim is a lot gentler than asking her to shave. It's also a pretty reasonable request. Trimming is easy, and it truly does make a big difference in access for oral sex etc.
Use words and accept 'no' or 'yes' as answer.
ask her what she prefers and she'll likely ask you back...
Tell her honestly you don't like hair and she needs to shave!
Or show her two pictures one with shave the other no ask her which one is better
Oh god, so bossy and passive aggressive.
@samhradh_leannan me? If I look like it it not meant to be
No, not you, just the suggestions! Haha I would NOT take well to it if a guy took that approach with me.
Next time you put your hand there ask her if she likes her hair, from there you can ask her to shave.
Just tell her. She probably thinks you don't mind, how would she know?
Yeah, but its about i like her the way she is. And i "thought" it was rude to say something like that because i ask her to change something about her. But i know a relationship is about giving and taking
I don't think it's rude. I wouldn't be offended if my boyfriend asked me to shave.
Why do women have to get offended at this? It's not like he's trying to control his girlfriend or take away her rights. He would just rather it be shaved. If my girlfriend told me to shave my pubes or grow them out, I'd just do it. I hate when everything turns into "it's my body, I'll do t if I want".
Personally, I have a hard time with this because my skin is too sensitive to shave. So even if I would like to shave to make my partner happy, I can't. That means that for the rest of our relationship, I have to know that my body isn't what he wants. That is not a good place to be in.
Legit ! I have told my boyfriend to trim/ shave and not even just down there, yesterday I told him to shave his face! haha if he told me to shave I'd do it, everything doesn't have to be a fight.
@MissPanda PREACH!!
Just tell her the truth. I mean for me it's better to shave #1 guys like it, and #2 when you use a pad it doesn't get stuck to the hair.
I would be happy to shave for a guy I liked/loved
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