My boyfriend never initiates sex?

[helpha]

I will always have to get sexy, get on top of him, start making out, I basically start everything. I will be making out with him touching him and he will sit there, arms by his sides, not touch me, grab me, push me down, or do anything sexy, BUT I know he's turned on because he gets hard immediately. I've talked to him about it several times, giving examples and telling him girls love being dominated and I wish he'd show me more... and he is blind to it, denies he doesn't initiate... This week I have not initiated once and we will go a week or two without sex if I don't.. Some nights, after working out and being tired, I'll be sexy and he'll turn me down, saying "I can't have sex tonight." Then I wait the following nights for him to show me he wants me and he won't. I don't get it because I'm thin, pretty, and have a nice body, and can be very sexy. I do give him BJs and touch him and try my best to be sexy for him, etc... Foreplay is basically non existent. Its like there's no passion at all.

[Cool4ever5]

Has he always been this way? If so, sound like he is selfish lover. Does he not go down on you ever? if he used to not do this, he may be seeing someone else bc usually when your partner stops showing interests towards you and feel rejected, that means they are cheating in most cases. you don't know but you do need a mate that satisfies you in bed as well. Its not about him and he needs to realize that.

so Talk to him again and let him know that you are not happy with yalls sex life and ask why he won't please you the way you like. Even if its him, he can make that change for you if he really loves and cares about you and is not seeing anyone else

[helpha]

He would never cheat on me, he cares a lot for me and I'm sure of that... But you're right he is selfish. And no he never goes down on me, not even teases me with kisses or whatever it's straight to sex... which turns me off, so then i feel like i don't want him.

[Cool4ever5]

Girl, how could you even stay? you love him that much? wow i would have never got with him the first time i realize he was selfish. you are better than me to have gone this long but yeah a man a real man knows how to please a woman and wants too and the fact that he doesn't satisfy you at all is concerning

[Cool4ever5]

Think about it.. if you dont initiate, y'all dont do nothing in weeks. Was it like this when y'all first got together?

[helpha]

No, we were all over each other for the first 2-3 months, but very quickly it declined. I noticed a lack of emotional passion and then we started having sex much less. He's usually up for it, but like I said doesn't SHOW me or do too much sexy stuff on his own. To me foreplay/teasing is the best part of sex. I've talked to him about it and he denies he's done anything. Now, after dating over a year, I feel like a 40 year old woman who has marital problems. No passion at all, no emotional intimacy. Some weeks I struggle to kiss him, it turns me off even though he's hot.

[helpha]

I do please him, too. When I can I will give him BJs but most of the time I don't even want to because foreplay turns me off becuase he's never actually DOING anything.

[Cool4ever5]

Girl, when behavior changes like that, that is rejection and usually a sign of cheating. im sry i know you dont believe he would but think about how he has changed. he is gettin it somewhere else

[AustinMan]

It sounds to me like you probably have radically differing libidos. It sounds to me like you might consider moving on. There are some of us guys that not only will give you a ton of sex but will dominate you in the process. You might even get spanked and/or tied up.

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the MHG! What did you decide?

[CRamos3]

Just going to throw this out there -- is it possible he is getting it from someone else?

[helpha]

No, he's very loyal and committed in every relationship and I trust him.. Besides, his phone and life are VERY simple and open to me.

[CRamos3]

ok then.

[takumii]

He sounds like someone with low libido. :/

[helpha]

I asked him, and he says that he doesn't and he's horny a lot... But i'm 20, so I'm at a phase where I want to have fun and be passionate all the time lol