Why do I get turned on by porn that is the opposite of what I actually like in real life?

[Anonymous]

in real life i am very one on one, we dont have to be in a relationship but there has to be some kind of connection for me to enjoy sex, im more submissive in bed and i am a giver but i do like being taken care of (like having my needs met as well and discussing whats okay and isn't okay first), and i have a kinky side (like being tied up, using toys, role playing and so on) these are the things that turn me on in real life. but when i watch porn, this is too boring for me. i like watching orgies, especially if its one girl and like 50 guys and especially if its forced (but in real life, if this happened to me, i would be traumatized forever i would NOT enjoy it), i like watching people get humiliated (not into that either), being slaves (ones again, hell no. i'd kill myself if i was in that situation), and sometimes i like lesbian porn too. which is just really random because im as heterosexual as it gets. i had a chance to experiment multiple times but it just didn't feel right and i wasn't turned on whatsoever. so why am i so into watching this?

[Realistic07]

Keep in mind post has and will always be the extreme visual representation of our inner most wants. You enjoy things like orgy, roal play, or forced sex because at times you desire concepts that are very similar to those things.
Orgy for example isn't that you want to be in a large group taking turns with your body but simply the want to have sexual pleasure given to you to such an extent that it's the same comparative please that may be had in an orgy so it's not that you want multiple people just that you want the sensation of being taken to such a euphoric high by your one partner.
Roal play is simply the want to be someone different from yourself or to take on a roal that would commonly not be yourself as a way to experience different sexual concepts from another's prospective that dosent mean you want to be in a real office or area really doing those things just that you have a want to experience sex from different perspectives.
Forced sex isn't that you want some person to rape you, but you may have a desire to be taken more forcefully at time and want your partner to initiate sex and be a bit more forceful with you.
Humiliation is that you want to be humiliated but that you simply want to at times be less taken care of and have him technically use your body as he pleases which often speaks to wanting to deeper trust with your partner to the point that if something slightly embarrassing ever did happen you know that with him you need not be concerned because he would not judge you or think less of you. Slave concept is another statement of trust that you may not want to be a slave sexually but you wouldn't mind of he wanted to experiment with you and be more demanding sexually because you trust him to not harm you.
Keep in mind porn is the visually extreme versions of this concepts and isn't reality bit dose speek to psychologically rooted sexual wants which is why you are often more kinky sexually because you recognize those wants and follow those desires at a level in which you are comfortable and able to gain pleasure from them without damaging yourself physically or mentally it's not that you want those extream you simply recognize that this desires are in you and want the similar experience and to fullfil your desire in a safe and less violent manner. Porn speaks to people wants and urges which is why porn can be so arousing to watch and enjoy.

[Realistic07]

Really as long as your happy sexually and are enjoying yourself in a manner and level in which works for you and your partner while fulfilling your own sexual urges then you have met the demands of your own inner most self and can continue to enjoy one another in the form you both decided to be the most enjoyable which is often a feat that many struggle with attaining, so good job In your own sexual discovery and growth and may you continue to grow and be happy with in yourself sexually and interpersonally. Good luck and may you enjoy yourself dear.

[MrOracle]

The "taboo" nature of those subjects is fascinating and arousing to you. This just illustrates that porn is (at least for MOST people) merely a FANTASY - and just because you watch something for fantasy reasons doesn't mean it's what you WANT in REAL LIFE.

Girls often freak out of their guy watches porn with big boobs, or big asses, or skinny girls, or blondes, or Asians, or whatever, because SHE (his girl) isn't whatever it is he's watching. She incorrectly assumes that whatever it is he's watching is what he wishes SHE was, and so, since she isn't those things, he must really not care for her. This is WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Porn is a fantasy - and it gives us an outlet for things we may have some curiosity about, but don't really want to try ourselves. It stimulates our brains without us having to take REAL risks - much like a romance novel or a spy novel does.

This is really not a lot different than people who are interested in crime novels or horror movies - it doesn't mean you want to be in those situations yourself, but your mind enjoys being "exercised" by those situations.

As long as it doesn't start interfering with your real life, it's completely fine - it's just fantasy.

[AustinMan]

I'm guessing you have those desires but you're understandably reluctant to pursue them through role play. It takes a LOT of trust to put yourself out there like that sexually. It sounds to me, and if I'm dead wrong I apologize in advance, that you might like your guy to manhandle you and call you his slut if you know he respects you in real life. That's a form of humiliation but I've found a LOT of women are into it.

[burlen]

Because those types of porn feed your fantasy. A fantasy is "a pleasant situation that you enjoy thinking about but is unlikely to happen". Anything that doesn't last, that is common, or "unlikely to happen" is thrilling and captivating. That's why we watch and enjoy movies. Those porn scenes that you love stretch your imagination of erotic pleasure.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes, sexual fantasies arise out of things that are both titillating and scary. Porn gives you an opportunity to experience the fantasy without confronting the fear.

[Open_wide_4_juice]

A great post!

My partner and I were having that very discussion the other night as we are the same. We often talk about her stripping off while me and about 20 guys watch and wank... she then kneels and opens her bum cheeks real wide and we all take turns in shooting over her hole...

We talk about her coming home from a night out and stands in front me me and says put your fingers inside me... I need you inside now. As my hands slide into her panties I know immediately and can feel myself becoming rock hard as she reaches for her phone and says look the guys took pics for us while waiting for their turn... Omg I nearly exploded while looking at my gorgeous girl being stripped and fucked in a dirty alley. Up against the wall she had 4guys one by one and they all stayed inside as they shot their spunk inside the women I love... in reality it would kills me but as fantasy omg I love it and get so horny

She then said they all tried to pull out to cum and I made them stay in me... you know how much I love being wanked over and feeling hot spunk hit my naked body, smoothly waxed pussy and then feel it as it leaks out of me for hours after

I felt like such a dirty slut babe so we punish her... firstly and after being securely tied up I spank her hot round bum until it is so red... then blindfold her and leave. I return about 30mins later and she feels so many naked hands, lips, cocks and bodies all over her.. she can't even guess... the. She says..."I know it's you opening my legs though babe" I laughed saying "you will need it as we are all about to share my beautiful wife" and as my last word was said she felt a tongue on her clit, another running along her leg, another on each nipples, she was snogging and her fingers inside a sexy smooth pussy too! I watch my wife get gang fucked and smile the whole way through... I knew she really loves it whe. She started telling the group what to do and telling me to show them how to use their tongues properly...

I then held her bum cheeks open and loved seeing the first guy shoot right into her bum hole and her gasp... then I stand behind them and wank their cocks off myself before they shoot into her!

The girl I love and admire more than life is their, used, covered, and exhausted after being used as our slut whore!

So although different in content you will see we think the same way ourselves.

we have had my friend watch and go down on her but even so we agreed it is better left in iur minds as fantasy though

[Anonymous]

It allows you to pull traits that can turn you on, while at the same time not actually having the consequences of it being real. Imagine a lot of men so overcome with their desire for you that they lose control over themselves, and take you by force. Kinda flattering when you think about it like that.

Then as they force themselves on you, you don't have to worry about being a slut, because you aren't responsible at all. Meaning you stay just as pure as you were before. The difference is that it is just a fantasy, so you remain in control the entire time, which is why it is a turn on, instead of being traumatic.

I am not sure why straight women seem to like lesbian porn so much, but it is common. Maybe the lack of a guy being there might make them feel less judged or something. Whatever it is I am sure there is a perfectly good reason for it.

[Anonymous]

I read a book with a section on this but i can't for the life of me recall the title just now. The conclusion was porn is a hyper stimulus not of whole situations but of discreet elements. The instincts triggered are basically 'stupid', simple and primal. One way of looking at it is your instinct's eyes are bigger than your rational, complete mind's stomach. The multiple guys in a scene is just the principle of more is better. Forced sex is dominance as is humiliation and slavery. Lesbian porn is basically all stuff many women prefer to penetration.

Your instincts are basically like a little kid who wants to eat fifty gallons of ice cream where your developed mind knows that is impossible and a bad idea to even try.

[Anonymous]

Maybe because for your real life likes its kind of taboo and there's an excitement to that. I watch bisexual types of porn but wouldn't like it in real life, I don't believe