Guys, Re: my breasts--does my finace really mean what he says?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. A year ago my boyfriend made an insensitive remark about my breasts. He really regrets it and normally, especially in the past 6 months since he has proposed, treats me like an absolute queen. My boobs are full of stretch marks and the fat never re-deposits fully after pregnancy/nursing (I have a toddler and am extremely proud of this accomplishment, it gave me lots of strength and maturity at 22). Honestly, I know this is my own problem, but I was much better at accepting/ appreciating my imperfect breasts before he commented on them. I will actually say, to me personally, they aren't bad. I think they still have a pretty shape even though they are lower and flatter. But the thing is, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I can't quite let go of the things he said a year ago. Part of the pain for me is that I'm bisexual and love girls as well, and so I fully understand the desire for big perky breasts, because that is what I prefer. I feel like before he met me, he had the same exact preference. And I don't understand how that could just go away just because he's in love with me. Yet he honestly treats me like a queen. During sex he wants me fully naked, and I accept it, but like only because he asks. I kinda would rather hide my breasts in a push-up bra now. He tells me he loves my breasts and every single thing about my body because he's so in love with me. But again I feel like he will always sexually desire a body type I don't have and that hurts like hell. As a bisexual woman I feel like I would be disappointed if my girlfriend had breasts like mine. I don't know. I realized I had a problem just now when I was watching lesbian porn where the girls had big, perfect breasts. And afterwards I just burst into tears! It surprised me honestly. I have a problem and want the confidence back that I had before. I'm not proud of this but input would be nice. Thank you

[ManFrom1982]

Good gracious!!! First off, there's a very damn good chance that most guys would be all over your chest. Second off, I know you're bi and you think you seriously relate to him on this because of it, but really and truly... It's still not the same.

Yes men are visual. Yes men have their sex drive tied to their eyes, but men are just nowhere near as critical of a woman's beauty as another woman would be. We have a much bigger latitude of what we find hot. I find roughly 80-90% of women I meet on a daily basis could make me aroused, even highly aroused, just by getting naked for me. I highly doubt even another bi girl would genuinely have a percentage that high.

I am willing to bet that your man genuinely still finds your breasts hot and wants as much play time and face time with them as he can get. And I'm also willing to bet he wants to shoot himself over his remarks, and that it's really more because he's screwed himself over because you don't want to share them with him as much as you used to than because he feels guilty. He might not understand how to say it in the direct, probably crass, way that will make you realize they're still very much his sexual fantasy fuel they have always been, and assumes that telling you he likes them because he loves you is somehow more supportive to you, but I would bet real money that another guy could get him to talk about your "tits" in truly reverent terms that would make your eyes widen at how much they make him aroused when they're brought to the party.

[SoWhAt249]

Well, people tend to get really angry and no matter what they say afterwards, they always mean what they say... When we are angry, we are as honest as we can be, so if he told you that, he really meant it, no matter that he said that he didn't mean it afterwards...
But, are breasts something to get depressed over?
He didn't leave you or anything... He loves you and the beautiful baby you've created, and he regrets it now.
Why don't let it just fly away? Believe me... Those are small things to get upset about... There are far more bigger things in this world we should care about.
Love your child and don't let small things destroy your relationship. Live to see the happines of your child/children, because as a parent, there won't be anything more fulfilling than that... 😃

[reptocarl]

The truth is we really don't care about breast size as much as women think we do. What we do care about is that they're natural regardless of size or shape. Yes every once in a while you might hear a rude comment from some asshole but they're in the tiny minority

[NerdInDenial]

The reality is that most people settle and end up with someone who is similar in attraction level. You may not feel perfect but you are the best that he can afford and he is the best that you can obtain. If your breast bothers you that much you could talk to a plastic surgeon.

[Asadi]

just relax guys dont care about breast if they love u