Why do women stay with men who cheat on them?

[LovinMuffin]

Angela Simmons husband cheated on her and she's 5 months pregnant by him. She makes more than him so she can't get child support from him. If she's smart she'd get the marriage annulled and get an abortion before she reaches 6 months. They offer them till 6 months in NY. I don't see why any woman would take a man back who cheated on her, much less carry his child and be bonded with him forever. If it were me, drop the fuckboy, get an abortion, start over and find a better guy. Seems simple enough. But watch she do something stupid like keep the baby or stay with him. My question is why are some girls stupid enough to take a guy back after he cheats and basically shows he has no respect for you. Most guys wouldn't take a girl back if she were to cheat, but girls always do. Why are girls so desperate? I'd rather just be alone than with a cheater.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Because it's very hard to leave someone you love. And honestly, you just want them to change. You feel that you put so much "time" into this person, and that you were there for them, so you feel eventually he'll realize what he has and appreciate you.

It's extremely hard to leave a cheater because when you finally get the strength to, he begs you to stay. He even cries and promises that his life without you is meaningless. And then he goes back to other women. And more and more time goes by.

You question your self worth, your dignity, your values. You ask yourself "how can he still do this to me?"
You blame yourself at night as he's fucking some other girl. You're in tears crying yourself to sleep while he tells you he's working late and to trust him.
And you begin to lose faith in everyone because it's like, if this man who promised to love you, promised the world to you is being unfaithful, and he's not living up to his promises, how can I trust someone else? How do I know when to believe someone else? So you begin to feel everyone is like that, so if I were to leave him now, I'd probably end up with another piece of shit man and what's the point starting fresh just to be in the same situation?

Or you think "will any man want me like this?" Because men lose respect for women easily, and to see that you essentially allowed yourself to be used, they will think that either they can do the same, or that you are not worth it.

You begin to hate yourself more and more. You hate yourself so much that you don't want to be left alone with yourself. And it becomes harder and harder to leave with each passing day. Because he makes you feel like he's the only person who'll accept you and your flaws as you are.

That's why it's so hard to leave a cheater.

[Katerina_Belle]

I understand your opinion, and I probably would never get back with a cheater myself.
But you should understand that other people have different personalities and opinions, it's perhaps not in our nature to forgive, but for others its easier.

It could be that the guy is actually sorry, and there are many reasons to cheating, it doesn't always mean the guy is a greedy bastard lol

It could be something like maybe there has been no intimacy within the relationship and so he's looking elsewhere; we don't know their reason to cheat - if there even is a reason.

And so some women find it easier to forgive because the see the cheating as an outcome of another problem in the relationship - which they try to fix - and not find the guy himself fully to blame.

It just boils to different personalities and situations.

Though some girls are just out right stupid where the above doesn't apply to them, and they "don't want to lose him" because they're in "love" 🙄 like puhhleassee! Cry me a river! 😒

[EllieLexis513]

Because when you're in love, you don't just throw it away all willy nilly. However, because so many people, not women, have that mindset, they give way too many chances and just dig themselves a deeper whole instead of taking their losses and leaving.

[MrOracle]

"The simple answer is that they want something else more than they need him to be faithful."

Building off of @Dionysos 's wise and correct answer, there is something more important to them than his infidelity.

That could be:

- money
- security
- feeling obligated to have a father for the child
- attention
- social standing
- fear of failure (divorcing and having to admit the marriage was a mistake)
- religious issues regarding a divorce
- etc.

I have no idea who these people are, but if you got to know her and talked to her, you'd probably learn it was one or more of the above.

[Frost_Byt3]

I never understood the religuous issues, because Christians are actually permitted to divorce a spouse if they cheat. Its straight from the Bible. Apparently its the only grounds for divorce. I don't know what the rules are for Muslims though.

[MrOracle]

@Frost_Byt3 For centuries, most Christian denominations had to approve divorces, and did so only rarely and only in extreme circumstances - divorce was taken VERY seriously, like, say, the decision to chop off a leg due to disease. Catholics, for example, had to get permission from the Pope - not a simple process. Jews had to go before a council of elders. "Irreconcilable differences", which is the most common reason for divorce today, wasn't even an option. There are still plenty of people who strongly believe in such interpretations of their religions, even if that's no longer mainstream in Western culture.

[AustinMan]

Not all women have as black and white a position as you apparently do. Each of us has to live our life as we see fit and in the same way I respect your opinion and defend your right to live your life your way, the same applies to others with different value systems.

[Tdieseler]

its the situation... its always the situation...

[existing_not_living]

They fear the unknown.

[somebodysaycheese]

Only a mentally ill person would will kill a baby at 5 months. What kind of evil, trifling woman would kill her baby cause the father cheated?

[LovinMuffin]

Its not born, and she wants that bitch out her body she has every right. Any smart woman would get that shit aborted.

[somebodysaycheese]

Its a human, it has dna , it has a heart. Its murder, a human life is a human life. And your a foul human being for thinking otherwise, please get sterilized youd be a horrible mother.

[LovinMuffin]

You sound like another one of those idiot woman who'd stay with a man cheating on her. Its not a life. It's a fetus. You Pro-Life cunts are annoying af

[somebodysaycheese]

Lol, yea yea. babe your mentally ill and its not healthy get help

[somebodysaycheese]

Your upset because you know im right.

[somebodysaycheese]

Your calling me a dumb bitch im not the one that will abort a baby over a hissy fit. Correct yourself before you come at me again. i won't be nice again. ill let you know about yourself.

[somebodysaycheese]

you tried me. First calling someone a bitch in 2016 means nothing so who the fuck you trying to insult? Second, Not only are you the dumb ass female , but a trifling dirty ass female. You are going to end a life cause your immature , and conceded. Like I said your ass got some loose screws. you need help.

[somebodysaycheese]

lol. lol. I hit a nerve a big nerve. Go away. lol

[bobbyxx]

Hi asker you are a shit.

[Dionysos]

The simple answer is that they want something else more than they need him to be faithful.

[LovinMuffin]

money

[WalterRadio]

It is naive to believe that one person can provide everything another needs or wants. It happens, but it is rare.

If a man cheats, as you call it, then it is the woman who is not providing him everything he needs or wants. So why are you blaming it on him? It may not even be possible for the woman to provide everything he needs or wants.

If 90% of a relationship is good, but 10% is imperfect, then why do you automatically throw out the 90%? You would be great to play poker against. You would always lose.

[redeyemindtricks]

If the sexes were reversed (= if the question was about men deciding whether to stay with an unfaithful woman), would you give the same advice/response?

[WalterRadio]

@redeyemindtricks Yes. It doesn't matter. I've slept with married women who have 90% of what they need and want with their husbands.

[redeyemindtricks]

Well, at least that's fair. The only thing that's questionable here is yr assignment of "percentages". For most normal people in committed relationships, the exclusivity -- and the partner's willingness to sacrifice whatever extra "options" -- is worth WAY more than 10% of this hypothetical quantitative measure. This isn't just a girl thing, either. The vast majority of men AND the vast majority of women would give that a weight much higher than 10%. Which is why there aren't many open marriages, and why the open marriages that *do* exist are usually spectacular failures. This whole calculus seems to be based on the principle of "everyone all for her/himself" -- like, no sacrifices at all for the other person. Problem there is, what's there to prove that yr partner will be willing to make *other* sacrifices -- time, care, money, living situation, whatever -- if something happens and those sacrifices are necessary?

[WalterRadio]

@redeyemindtricks Being in a committed relationship is not exclusive to sleeping with other people. The social standard in the US of serial monogamy enforced with divorce filing has done a lot of harm. If people were not so condescending, a good number of those divorces need not happen, which would result of better lives for the couple and their children. The lawyers would be worse off, though.

[redeyemindtricks]

With all due respect, you are almost certainly mistaking a large fraction of "shit that couples used to suffer in silence, because divorce wasn't economically possible" for "effects of the current social/legal climate". In other words, old-time couples didn't tolerate cheating more because they were actually more OK with cheating... they just tolerated it because, if they actually tried to get divorced, the woman would starve, and the man would be naked, childless and alone.

[WalterRadio]

@redeyemindtricks You don't spend much time in France or Italy, do you?

[WalterRadio]

Or Hong Kong, or China, or many places that do not have the hangups most people in the US do.

[redeyemindtricks]

Enough time to know that wives of rich French and Italian men are more tolerant of cheating, because they basically get a healthy stipend for tolerating it. That "open-mindedness" most certainly doesn't percolate down to the middle and lower classes.

[WalterRadio]

@redeyemindtricks "That "open-mindedness" most certainly doesn't percolate down to the middle and lower classes" Must be why there are no prostitutes there. Oh wait, there are tons of them.

[Fearless_banana]

Some girls really get caught when they are that deep into a relationship. It's like going cold turkey off an opiate addiction. Some girls just break and keep coming back. Lack of willpower.

[bluenose1872]

I agree with the other guy. Some women dont give a shit as long as they get what they want. Money, social standing etc. Pretty fuckin horrible way to go through life. Might as well be a cardboard cutout or a mannequin

[MakeShiftThug]

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Why would you kill the child for the "sins of the father"? That's evil.

There are many reasons why thy would remain in the relationship, it doesn't make them stupid.
One example would be abusive relationships and stockholm syndrome.

[Gommers]

I'm betting your answer to your boyfriend going out with his friends once in your relationship is to get back at him by fucking all his coworkers. You really have no reason to be talking.

[orphan]

if it were you... you'd also be making irrational decisions because of love.

[LovinMuffin]

never

[orphan]

lol.

[chc0009]

Well, I don't know. Because as a man, if my woman cheats on me, I don't mind, as long as she tells me she's doing it.

[anonman32]

because they have such a low self esteem that they dont think thay deserve better.

[bcromartie]

Vestment.

[Omar5881]

Any woman who stays with her SO after cheating on her / beating her / emotionally abuse her is a stupid woman even if she the stupid word " I can't I just love him "

[MakeShiftThug]

I wouldn't say they they were stupid, necessarily. Because there are exceptions. Some women don't have the option to leave or as a result of their abuse feel they're incapable of doing so. They may even develop a condition like stockholm syndrome. I agree it's unwise to stay with a cheater if you are free to leave and if your so is untrustworthy. Especially if like you said, their reason is "I can't I just love him".

[Omar5881]

@MakeShiftThug yep agrew with you

[Omar5881]

Agree*

[Sabretooth]

because most girls are weak. parent are too soft with their daughters.

[Sabretooth]

Some girls are just not taught to stand up for themselves. There are many reasons, as others have pointed out

[Sabretooth]

Not to say they can't be strong, they can

[Anonymous]

A lot of women already love the child they co-created and have been carrying for 5 months. People stay together a lot when there are kids in the picture - not just women.

[Anonymous]

That's what I wanna know

[Anonymous]

Pretty lousy to have an abortion, she was right to forgive him. You seem like the type of girl to kill an unborn baby just to get your own back. And the type to use a guy for money, your immaturity and childishness knows no bounds. Then again you are 23, girls your age are so lousy these days.

[LovinMuffin]

stop with your male logic. i'm not being tied to a cheating lying fuckboy. abortion is the way

[Opinion Owner]

For your mother yes.

[Anonymous]

sometimes its love... or she gets caught up in her head (what did i do wrong? maybe im over reacting? is he really cheating or am i just assuming things? ... etc) ... or she remembers the past and can't think thats the same man... etc etc

many many things
you're thinking rationally because you're not in love with that guy and you didn't marry him or have the life she had with him
you're seeing things from the outside with no emotions or thoughts affecting your judgment

[Anonymous]

Agreed. But i guess we are romanticize the "what doesn't kill you makes you (your relationship) strong" comparison if you know what i mean.