Why do women even want to have sex with men?

So i was thinking about the whole sex thing with my girlfriend. And i just ran into this idea i can't get over. To give some background. We have sex about 2 times a week and i always make sure she cums one way or another. The problem lies more in the part where i get off. I find blowjobs to be pretty boring so i rarely cum from them. I really prefer penetration to make me cum. And she says she enjoys it aswell but also says she would be more then happy if i came in 2 min. Because she doesn't cum from it anyways. That kind of got me thinking. Why would a woman even want sex with a man, if she can buy a rabbit vibrator that gets her off better and more quickly? I just really dont see why a woman would ever want to have sex. Sure physical intimacy but you can get that from cuddling aswell. Really girls what is your motivation? because i really am just at the point where i am like i will buy her a vibrator and just stop the entire sex part. Not because i am lazy, because i do love to please her. But more just because it will be better for her.
Updates:
+1 y
I try everything i can to please her. But in sex itself we are very limited because she has vaginismus (look it up). And she is just starting to open up a bit and we can only really have pain free sex in certain positions where she can completely relax. So there isn't much variations i can try. I was just trying to find out what women like about sex. That being for the reason that i feel like a selfish mofo every time i have sex with her. And i would like to ease my guilt
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think part of it is the chemical and emotional bond that sex provides (which a vibrator does not). You essentially "become one" with your partner, and that act releases various chemicals (the main one being oxytocin) that promote the bonding and attachment we feel toward that person.

    Sure, sex is a physical act (and is often used casually rather than to form a bond with a significant other), but chemicals are still released that cause us to want more of that, compared to us getting off just using a vibrator.

    Speaking for myself, I would prefer "getting off" with a partner over a vibrator (or any other sex toy) simply because it involves the physical touch of another person. To me, it's not about what can get me off the most efficiently, the fastest, or the best, but it's the connection I feel with the other person (maybe it's because I'm a hopeless romantic and still like intimacy).

  • I do it because the man likes it your right women or well at least me can have more pleasure with just a vibrator plus doesn't risk getting pregnant which is a plus but the thing is a little toy can give a woman what a guy that knows what he is doing can give her. I love forplay and I like to be aroused to the point I just can't Hardly bare it so when he penitrates it just does something to ya I don't know hard to explain but also its fun to be able to have that connection with the person being able to see the person and please him. I get a lot of pleasure by just doing what he wants. But on the other hand I want to have the favor returned I just like the emotional and physical connection is why I enjoy it. If that helps at all lol

  • Everyone is different and your girlfriend does not speak for all women. I love sex and penetration is really what I need to orgasm. Oral doesn't really do it for me.

    However, regardless of that fact about me, physical contact is always better than an object. Any sexual act with another person is pretty much better than masturbation. I would MUCH rather have a real penis instead of a vibrator or dildo. Those things are nice for masturbating or even adding some spice to your sex life when used along with your partner, but they are NOT a substitute for the real thing. At least not for me.

  • You sound like a not-so-good lover. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who, when in a question about why women would even want to have sex with men, writes about nothing but their own experiences/preferences.

    You're right that in cases like that, there would really be no difference between sex and using a dildo or whatever. Good sex is what keeps girls coming back for more. For the release of sexual tension, the cocktail of hormones involved, which is at the same time why both sexes enjoy cuddling.

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. All women are different in terms of their physical arousal and need for sex.

    2. For many people, the act of having sex providing a level of intimacy and bonding that you don't get from anything else.

    3. Many women are easily orgasmic with PIV sex.

    4. Why not buy her a vibrator and incorporate it into your sexual activity. Most women will say that having a guy use a vibrator on them is more arousing than using it on themselves.

    5. Maybe it gives your girlfriend a great feeling of self-worth to know that she brings you immense physical pleasure. Maybe that is why she does it. That means that she probably really, really loves you.

  • I hate to be brutally honest here but it sounds like you need to put more time into foreplay and a lot more effort into her enjoyment.

    She should be on the brink before you get your turn.

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What Girls & Guys Said

12 8
  • Toys don't replace the real thing. Trust me.

    The kissing
    Skin against skin
    Touching/foreplay
    Dirty talking
    Watching your partner's face as they cum, knowing you made them get off (turn on for me).
    Snuggling afterwards

    The list goes on!

  • A vibrator doesn't move itself, and you have to put batteries in it. Men feed themselves and also move independently.

    End of.

    • I should start selling solar-powered, self-moving vibrators then

  • Foreplay, I like to please whoever is pleasing me too, I can't please a vibrator, I can't cuddle a vibrator, I can't tell it I love it (I can but that'd be weird lol)

    I prefer to be with a man who's trying to please me than a vibrator for sure.

    • I read your update. You sound like an awesome man, even if your sex skills need work. Try asking her what she enjoys most. You can also try more foreplay. I personally love oral sex. And if he were willing to spend enough time there, that's incredibly sexy for me. Try to please her clit, her nipples even. We don't just receive pleasure from penetration. Some women enjoy anal play too. Try kissing her whole body, like her thighs, breasts, neck especially. I know that drives me wild. But overall, communicate with her because I know even that alone would help her feel better.

    • The problem isn't pleasing her. I usually give her oral before doing any piv sex just to ease my guilt about her not enjoying it all that much. She says she is completely happy with our sex lives. I was really just looking for some reasons why women like piv sex apart from cumming. Just to make it feel like she isn't only having piv sex for my benefit.

    • Because it's still pleasurable even if we don't cum from coitus. In fact, it's a lot more likely to not cum from coitus than to cum for women. This doesn't mean we're not enjoying ourselves though. If she's satisfied with it, then great. Don't feel guilty.

    • Show All
  • Some women can find pleasure and come from penetration, the same way some men can come from a blowjob. Try different positions, pressure and more foreplays maybe she will be able to enjoy it better that way. Always stimulate her clitoris as well while you're penetrating her. Good luck!

  • Yes she can buy a rabbit vibrator, but then why would you need a useless girlfriend like her?

  • Women don't have sex just for the orgasm.

    • I know that. Just trying to find out those other reasons. Might have worded the question a bit wrong but i needed to get it out of my head.

  • Whereas one of my biggest problems in life has always been my mutual attraction to men & love of penetrative sex.

  • The same reason a lot of men prefer it over jacking off

  • Lmao you need lessons dude, you need serious lessons on how to bang

    • Thanks for the tip "dude"

  • Yeah, you may not like sex.
    There are people in the world called asexuals. They have NO interest in sex at all like that part of the brain is not there.

    To answer your question: NATURE!!!

  • Oh man...

    #HesDoingSomethingWrong

    #OnlyOnGag

  • I don't trust toys, they run of batteries

  • do you know what biology is dude?

  • Not all dudes are lame in the sack like you, So speak for yourself only :/

  • Look. According to me this is not your fault. Its about ur girlfriend. I don't know what she really wants to be pleasured but I'm afraid she's that kind of woman that wants sex with different partners. I don't wish it to u. I know u will get hurt from my words but I wish I'm wrong. The best of luck to u dude

  • you know what you're right i'll just let him eat me out and when he's done use my toys to make me cum since he can't get the job done :)

  • And here come the feminist posts...

    • Please explain the connection?

  • Cause they don't want to sleep with a ghost?

  • It feels good. Vibrators are no substitute. Nothing feels like dick. I don't always orgasm, I hate kisses and cuddles, but i still love sex.

  • That can be said for men too lol, you can buy all sorts of shit to get off for both genders. It's because of biology and I'm sure it;s much better with the real thing.