Firstly, I should note this is coming from someone who saved himself for marriage (so that was my first time, because of my relationship with God). I went through an unwanted divorce after ten years and then remarried (and it was her first relationship)- I have had intercourse with only three people in my life (the second being a girlfriend in between- when I questioned my faith for a few months and made quite the mistake- turns out she was pursuing me for the faith I was leaving, and I would never have pursued her had I still been pursuing God).
So when I was a teenager and not in any relationships, and often got what some would call the 'friend card' a lot- would I have? Yes, at that time - I had friends who were amazing people, and most beautiful in their own ways. But I was attracted to them for who they were not just the outside, and I didn't really expect a relationship. So I ended up with someone I met online whom I did not find physically attractive initially, but liked who I felt she was and could be, and so was open to it.
After that- would I have considered having sex with a female friend? No. And now, remarried- to a gifted, brilliant, beautiful wife? Never!
But if I had not followed Jeshua, and thus held to some firm beliefs- and become a different person because of it? Most definitely. But I like who I am following Jeshua far more than I would otherwise, and it is the Spirit of God in me that seems to be what makes me the most attractive to other women, and the confidence that gives.
So- I do not think friendship should be a barrier actually. In fact I think that friendship should come FIRST, before courtship and marriage! If you cannot be friends long term, you cannot last as a couple. Friendship, without the intimacy and romance, is a core to any marriage.
If I was single and they sort of threw themselves at me and seduced me, maybe they could work their way out of that "friend" compartment and back into a sexy one and I'd happily sleep with them.
A lot of my female friends are quite attractive, and some really stunning. Some of them I also tried to date before only to find they weren't into me that way, but I asked them early before I developed any feelings so it was okay and easy to just remain their friends.
Anyway, they'd have to be rather aggressive for me to go for it, since I got so settled and comfortable thinking of them as nothing more than friends. It would suddenly introduce sexual tension in a relationship that had none, I trained myself not to look at them in this way. It'd be like undoing some self-conditioning, but probably wouldn't take long with some of the more attractive female friends I have.
All of the straight ones while single. Far fewer when in a relationship. Not everyone is a cheat.
What do you mean by far fewer? You mean you would sleep with your guy friend when in a relationship?
No. She asked how many guys would sleep with their female friends and I said fewer would if they were dating someone than if single. Me personally, I don't believe in cheating or poaching someone's partner. But I have slept with friends while we were both single.
I'd probably sleep with my male friends. None of them are really that attractive tho
the guys I am friend with, I am not really attracted to :P
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!No, I certainly wouldn't. And there are four reasons why:
1. My female friends are nice but they're not exactly attractive.
2. I doubt they would agree to have sex with me.
3. I've got a girlfriend.
4. Having sex with a friend destroys the friendship.
Sure, but let's pretend the question was: "If you were single, and your female friends were attractive, would you have sex with them if they offered?" Because that's really the standard here.
@MrOracle hahaha you hit the nail on the head with that one haha straight to the point! Now @BlueCoyote, answerrr!! hahaha :p :p
@kat_gran and @MrOracle: No, I still wouldn't because of reasons 2 and 4, especially reason number four. I think sleeping with your friends is really dumb, unless your intention is to make yourself lonely and friendless. Once you do something sexually with your friend - especially if it's a very close friend - things will never be the same again. There will always be a certain amount of awkwardness. It might be fun for a few months but sooner or later, there will be this moment where one person or both people feel like "this is weird, something's gotta change". In that situation, you've got 2 options: either go back to a platonic relationship or engage in a romantic relationship. The first option won't work. You'll feel extremely weird and like there's always this awkward shadow when you're alone with that person. The 2nd option works but once the romantic relationship dies, the friendship will die too. I've experienced that last part myself (my first real girlfriend used to be a good friend).
I for the most part would. Assuming I was single and found them attractive. obviously there can other social/political circumstances that might make me choose not to, but all other things aside I most likely would.
Like others have also said, I generally don't go out of my way to make friends with girls unless there is a romantic interest. Most of my friends who are girls I met through other people or I met when attempting to date them at some point. I just have a hard time not seein women romantically. If I think you are attractive and also think you are cool enough to be friends with, it just seems logical to want a relationship.
In my situation, I was in a bad emotional state; trying to get over a recent break up with my EX. I knew for a fact one of my female friends wanted to have a "casual" night of sex. Normally, I'd NEVER do anything like this, but I ended up going through with it because I thought it would help me move on.
All I can say is, it was terrible, for several reasons. 1.) It was void of any real emotion, it just felt empty and wasn't enjoyable, 2.) I put in all the effort (because hey, I'm a nice guy), and she didn't even bother to get me off when it was all said and done. She's always had this entitled-little-bitch attitude, so I should've seen it coming. Oh well.
It didn't ruin the friendship, but all it did was irritate me. That was the first and last time I'll have casual sex with a female friend. Hopefully the my third sexual partner will be the end of my soul mate search.
I'll be honest, it depends upon who you look like. Most I'd sleep with. But not to get sex, looking for a relationship. It's hard, when stuck in that friend zone :(
I apologize, I'm looking for connection... Not looking for the bed anytime soon... Form the last experience...
Let's be honest all guys have thought about having sex with their female friends. I know I have, we're men we're meant to spread out seed. All this shit about "if I was single" if you were single you'd fuck the shit out of them, she's talking about if they offered
guys dont have female friends. they have people they hang around that happen to have tits. if u were already ACTUALLY good friends with them and it came around to have sex... why would u not? u are already close. and why would either care? they are already friends. dont trust a guy who keeps a lot of chicks around him. while a guy may grow up with one possibly two girls as a child, that usually will not last, see above with tits parts. thats like one of ur friends having a toy and not letting u play with it... how long are u going to be friends for? lol and ya im serious in that comparison.
One thing I have never understood is how young people now separate friends and lovers. Every woman I have been with was first a friend. When it built to something more intimate, the friendship did not disappear. And when I married, she was my best friend ever.
So of course I would sleep with female friends. I sure would not want to sleep with female enemies or female strangers. That kind of leaves female friends.
well put:)
hahahaha 'female enemies' or 'female strangers' haha what a nice one! lol
@red_arrow You've NEVER wanted to fuck a woman you hate? NEVER? ::taps foot:: __ In any case -- nope. With me, my whole life long, if something doesn't happen INSTANTLY with a guy, then, he's basically like an adopted brother... in perpetuity. There are absolutely 0 second chances there. This is so absolute, in fact, that I can't even get myself to *understand* those stories that are like, "We were best friends since childhood, and then we started dating and got married!" Like, huh?
While there is such a phenomenon as men who "hang out in the friendzone", in the hopes of picking up the pieces of her broken heart one day, in general this is a BAD idea.
Once put into the friendzone by her, it is best to (1) stay there, or (2) to move on if there is otherwise no interest in her in the absence of a sexual relationship.
The question criteria for any man to remain in the friendzone and not move on should be this and this alone: "Is there anything about this lady that enriches my life in a non-sexual way?" Sample questions following from this would include:
--Might she be wise and seeking her advice would be useful in the future?
--Are you in school or coworkers together?
--Is there anything about which she is knowledgeable that would be of help to the man?
--Is she intellectually stimulating?
A good policy for man is to introduce female friends to his lover or wife, in order to show no harm. And it might mean new lady friends for the lover/wife as well.
When I was single I had slept with a few female friends. Though, it would only come to be if both the female friend and I would be on mutual grounds that nothing would ever come of it. friends with benefits perhaps it could be called, but it usually only was a few nights thing or a little bit longer. And no, I never led any girl on or played them. Just when the occasion arose and both parties were willing. Sex was sometimes a result.
In a nutshell. No I wouldn't sleep with my lady friends because I don't think I will ever really have any romantically available female friends while I'm single because I will further try to further such a relationship and if I'm in a relationship then I wouldn't cheat either.
Depends on the female friend. One can't deny chemistry, even if practicality can't make it so.
I would totally like to have sex with the women I know and admire. I don't hit on them because I am in a wonderful marriage and I don't want to mess it up.
Not in a million years; it just messes things up ROYALLY.
Some yes, but not the ones who are closest to me, just not attracted to them like that, thankfully...
Probably would. But I'd have to be into her. And single, which I have always been
Almost all guys, when single, would with some of their female friends. Note 'when single'.
I, however, do not develop friendships with girls in whom I am sexually/romantically interested.
I don't friend the people I fuck and I don't fuck the people I friend
I've some very hot female friends so it would be a total lie if I'd be like 'Hell no'.
But that's when I'm single, even though I'm utterly cynical, lack of sensitivity and all, I don't cheat. To be frank, not because of some love, or respect to my partner or anything. I just have my own sense of descency.
I think it depends on how attractive the friend is and how attractive the girls he normally dates are.
If the friend is equally or more attractive than the girls he normally dates then its less likely he will be satisfied with "just friends"
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