Do you think "I need to be physical attracted" to you is a cop out for not wanting to be less superficial?

[Anonymous]

I often hear from both men and women that they need to be physically attracted to you in order to consider dating you/sleeping with you and for many people this means you need to tick off nearly all their physical requirement list for what they are looking for in a mate when the person is young and the dating world is in their favor.

The hypocracy i see with this is when people get older and they become less attractive, can't pull the same quality of mates and their dating pool starts shrinking and becoming smaller each year, all of a sudden now they want to drop the superficial aspect and give people a chance and start saying they care about personality, character, morality and all these other things they couldn't give too shits about 5-10 years ago.

For example

A girl who only wanted to go after pretty boys now all of sudden willing to give an average guy a chance.

A guy who only wanted to date white girls now all of a sudden is willing to give a black woman a chance.

So this begs the question.

Is the "I need to be physical attracted" to you to date/sleep with you just a cop out for people to continue being superficial and comes from an unwillingness to drop your physical standards?

The reason i ask this again because when people are older they very much are capable of dating/loving people who they would of written off 5-10 years ago as not being physically attracted towards and therefore incapable of loving them.

[Gman1]

I voted B... But as an "older man""... I can say that as one gets older perspective changes.
Where as a younger man (or woman) might be more focused on physical appearance as well as peer approval, what is on the inside, or in character may not be the highlight at that stage.
As one ages, physical beauty takes the backseat somewhat because beauty fades... So in the process of expanding ones perceptions we find that compatibility, the way your partner makes you feel, the way they treat you, if you enjoy yourself with them, joking, banter, philosophy... These things begin to complement and add to the attraction you have for someone which in many ways overrides the youthful perspective focused more into the superficial physical elements.
I voted B, because physical attraction is important in a relationship in order to want to have sex with them, and for you both to feel desired by the other... But again, the internal aspects of "attraction" grow more important, and carries over into the physical regardless actual physical appeal... Because if they make you feel good inside, you will want to please them... To share that intamate physical bond through sex... it's the bringing together of Two Worlds, the inner and the outer.
This said, I do however agree that perhaps some people are just superficial regardless of age... But chemistry does play an important role, not everyone can have romantic feelings for everyone else for whatever the reason.

[Alessus]

I say physical attraction is real, certainly, but the standards by which you measure it varies. So taking a hypothetical example of a guy who only dates girls he considers 8-10 on a scale of 1-10. Even if he is not willing to date/sleep with a girl he considers 7, does not mean he isn't physically attracted to the girl, just means that by his current standards he isn't attracted enough to consider it. Is changing those standards a cop out? Yes and no, I suppose, since peoples tastes can change with time, but whether it is because they realize they can't risk demanding the same standards or because they have genuinely just changed their tastes is only really known to the person in question.

[adrianalima0]

Physical attraction isn't bad.
It only becomes bad when that's the ONLY thing that matters to you. It's like the retards forget that the person has a mind/emotions/soul (that is the real you) that can be hurt.
When you only care about a person's look then you're not appreciating ALL of what they are. Your body is not all of who you are, otherwise you'd be a dead corpse. You have to appreciate the life in that body, the mind, everything. It's an insult to just pay attention to looks (beautiful or not) because looks don't last, you can lose them in a freak accident, you can get sick, etc etc. Some evil people dump people when this happens to them. They only know how to use people and parasite off of them. They don't know how to love or care about others. Love is about focusing on the person NOT on just on what you want. Just know if somebody does this to you or anyone else they've never loved them (because they can't love anyone or anything).

Sociopaths and psychopaths don't have souls/emotions themselves so they don't know what that is. Those are the only types of people that ONLY care about looks. Plain and simple. They don't believe people can get hurt and they don't care either.

[Anonymous]

I think you are equalizing old and unattractive; it is not equal for me.
I don't think physical attraction is only due to being good looking or young, some people are charismatic, charming and intelligent, and that's what makes them attractive (to some).
The first guy I liked was ugly but I wanted to hump him everytime I saw him, even if he didn't have the physical characteristics I would like to see in a man.

So, the "I need to be physical attracted to someone" is real for me, but not because they NEED to be good looking.
Also, it might not be hypocrisy but they've just matured.

[Asker]

i'm not saying if your old and unattractive per say. What i mean is as you get older logically your not going to look as attractive as you did when you were younger. Wrinkles, balding, and for many people the hustle of work means they are less physically active and tend to put on weight.

[Serah8675309]

As people get older, (and according to you) "less attractive," they also tend to find people of their age more physically appealing too. It isn't that they are now accepting ugly people as their mates because they no longer have the ability to be superficial. It is that they are physically attracted to people of their own age, as most people have always been. With that being said, there are still superficial people out there who may physical attraction as a cop out, but generally speaking, physical attraction is a necessity, sometimes it just comes later once it begins to reflect ones personality.

[Asker]

Actually no. While women tend to find men their age physically attractive. Studies have shown men even up to age 50 find women between age 20-24 most attractive.

[Asker]

" It isn't that they are now accepting ugly people as their mates because they no longer have the ability to be superficial." No one said anything about ugly people. Just peopole who didn't check off their preference. Like a girl who would refuse to date a lad who wasn't over 6'0 but is now willing to do it when she is 30+. It doesn't mean the guy who is below this is physically deformed.

[Serah8675309]

Ugly doesn't mean deformed, means you are repulsed by instead of attracted to them. Yeah there are sugar daddies and Cougars. They exist, but older men can still be attracted to older women and vice versa so it's unfair to claim that everyone is superficial. And I don't know man it's an opinion you don't have to agree with it.

[bobishere]

You need to be physically attracted to someone if you want to notice them in the first place. Similarities regarding preferences are also a really strong point.. but it's hard to figure those out if you're not interested in the person in the first place. Personally, I'd prefer a white girlfriend because I simply can't picture myself with anything else. I'm not some sort of racist but it simply doesn't spark my interest.

[samhradh_leannan]

Physical attraction is real and it's important, but what you find attractive can change throughout your life, and it can also expand and become more flexible. It doesn't mean you're settling.

[Asker]

But again doesn't seem quite genuine as this oh so gracious expansion and flexibility and giving other people a chance always seems to coincide when your on a down turn (less options, less attractive) in dating world.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think that with maturity, you learn to appreciate people differently and your view of other people changes. It doesn't mean you're simply settling for someone you wouldn't have been with before, it means your attractions are actually different than they used to be.

[Asker]

I have a hard time believing it's maturity seeing it always happen to when things start going downhill for you. Think of this as the anology. A pretty girl who only wanted to date hot guys.

i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...3000005DC-122_634x633.jpg

She gets into an accident that messes up her face. People who were once close to her because of her looks leave her and she now has this epiphany to look at inner character and start being less superficial.

i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...6000005DC-938_634x893.jpg

From my standpoint her now realizing she was superficial and now wanting to date less attractive people doesn't seem genuine because it only came from a point when she lost a large portion of her power in dating world and never before. This is how it looks also when people require to finally start being less anal about looks and now inner character only when their looks are in the crapper and dating options dry up because people are pairing up.

https://i.imgur.com/81BKCRt.jpg

[samhradh_leannan]

I have no idea if that tends to happen or not, but frankly, I don't care. Regardless of what causes a person to become less superficial, they are still becoming less superficial. But not all of this IS from becoming less superficial, and that's what I'm trying to explain. There's a difference between becoming less superficial and simply not being as picky about what you're superficial about.

[Asker]

And what i'm trying to tell you is it isn't genuine. The being less superficial comes from a place when you no longer have a bargaining hand to be as picky about your mate. Can you explain the difference between being less superficial and less picky? Superficial to me isn't about looks but materialistic things+looks.

[samhradh_leannan]

EVERYONE gets less attractive as they age. It's something that naturally goes along with maturity. You can't know that one is the cause of the other because you'll never have a control group. If you're determined that nobody can ever genuinely become less superficial, fine- you can think that. But I disagree.

[Smmyskittles]

For some, maybe. For me, nah.

I need to be physically attracted. Do I have a type? Yeah.

Is it "you have to be EXACTLY like this or I won't consider you"? *NO*.

[Soteris]

Why do you have to compromise? Chances are you will find someone that ticks all your boxes.. and if that does not work out you will find another.. and another.. and another..

The best part about there being 7.4 billion people on earth is that there is never a lack of options for your love life.

[Asker]

The problem with this is if you want to get into a proper relationship your going to have to invest a certain amount of time to get to know a person which means a couple months not weeks and then you start fucking. If your method is the latter then your relationship is bound to fail. As you go into your 30's the number of single people available will be shorter and you have only a finite time on this planet. So this whole can just keep jumping from person to person if it doesn't work out isn't going to suit you well in the long run.

[Soteris]

Yes but if you actually aren't "physically attracted" then its not going to work either. At best you just get more open minded as you get older because I doubt that people consciously settle for less.

[somebodysaycheese]

physical attraction is real and needed. Yes, we age and looked older but thats how it works. I mean when we get old we are still more attracted to younger people vs those our age. Youth is attractive for both sexes in particular women since we are attracted to youthful beautiful things. I can't get wet for something i dont find sexually appealing.

[Asker]

Yes but when you get older, the same people your turning your nose up and saying you can never date because your not "physically attracted to them" become an option for dating and love from you when your older and dating options become less. In short, you are more than capable of loving them when you were young and you were physically attracted to those type of people but it wasn't on the level of what you ideally wanted (lust level) and because of that those people were discarded. So the message here is people use i need to be physically attracted to you to discard and throw out anyone who you don't have raw animalistic desire on first sight to want to jump into bed with. Physical attraction varies to different degrees. Some very intense while others less. People just seem very shallow to discard people because they didn't want to jump their bones on first sight.

[somebodysaycheese]

Well, for most taste in physical attraction changea several times in life. So , it would make sense your priorities in preferences in a partner changes

[Rissyanne]

I am older and I am physically attracted to my boyfriend.

[Cosytoasty]

Physical attraction is real, It's not a cop out it's human nature more than anything... at the end of the day you have to find some kind of attraction unless both people are asexual (very rare). Even if they lower their standards they still have them.

At the end of the day though they can do their own thing, the higher the bar they set the harder it is to jump over.

[Asker]

Can you explain then why is it people say "I can't date person X because i'm not physically attracted to them" but fast forward 5-10 years and looks go south and now all of a sudden you are more than fully capable of being attracted to them. Seen it with plenty men and women including those with racial preference and not wanting to date someone because they were (insert X race). However, when their dating value goes down whether it's from a loss of looks, becoming single mother or even dating pool shrinking they are more than capable of forming relationships with these people. What i'm getting at it seems to be a very grudgingly approach by people to not give people a chance, hold onto high standards and to basically act snobby until you are unable to be so picky anymore and have to actually lower your standards so your dating options can increase. All in all just seems very shallow.

[Cosytoasty]

I can explain it to you in one word : life. Its simply human nature to seek out the most attractive partner one can and who also has as many good qualities as possible. It is also human nature during the peak years of looks to want to find the best partner they can. If you want to call humans superficial ill agree, but there is a reason we find people attractive in the first place, otherwise we would just mate with the closest person. Now, exactly what a person finds attractive, what race and what qualities they want are HEAVILY influenced by their upbringing/culture. The way i see it, it's easier to improve yourself/value than it is to change the entire human race.

[Asker]

It's human nature to seek out best mate but when you place heavy stock on physical as a big pre requisite to get with you, how can you ascertain that this person will make you happy or a fulfilling in life and is the best mate for you? This is why so many relationship fail today. Too much emphasis and anal on physical.

Example:

You have 2 girls. Girl A is a girl you'd say your physically attracted to. i. e. You really want to bed her.

3.bp.blogspot.com/.../image019-744888.jpg

Girl B you find less attracted and she is sort of meh to you.

https://i.imgur.com/uKO4g6U.jpg

However, if you actually gave her a chance rather than writing her off and actually giving her a chance to date you, you could find your attraction for her would grow and she could give you an even better and longer relationship than girl A.

[meatballs21]

You won't stop needing to find people physically attractive in order to want to go out with them.

[Fearless_banana]

Attraction is real. Wtf lmaoo

[Jessicocoa]

I wouldn't be able to get turned on by someone who I wasn't physically attracted to. Not turned on = no sex. I don't want a sexless relationship.

[anonman32]

f there is no physical attraction why would you even have sex? you are like a whore but doing it for free.

[Asker]

I'm not saying their isn't no physical attraction but people just use the "i need to be physically attracted to you" as a cop out. What i'm getting at is they need to be REALLY attracted to you to the point of wanting to jump your bones on site (basically lust level). And they aren't willing to date someone who is at a lower level than this because people want to remain superficial and not lower their standards.

[anonman32]

these people are vapid, they think it will add value to themselves because we have a hook up culture now they will pretend not to be part of it pretending to have high standards.

[bcromartie]

God I hope it is real otherwise I'm in deep shit.

[Supersonic_Sex_Ninja]

I voted gross. You're propaganda pushing.

[Asker]

it's not propoganda it's calling out hypocrisy of people.

[Supersonic_Sex_Ninja]

It's propaganda and attempted guilt manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Physical attraction is real AND superficial. It's not a cop-out, though, it's how it is.

[Anonymous]

Only weirdos are actually hung up on arbitrary details. For most people, either you want to have sex with someone or you don't.