Sexual Relationships
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For people who have been in love: does sex 'just happen'? Or do you have to plan it? Or what triggers it?

Opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • For me it was always spontaneous, *zero* planning. I never talked about having sex upfront with any girl (though I'm from Japan and I might have a different approach to this).

    With my wife we had sex on our first date. The only initiative I made is that I jammed the stop button on the elevator while grabbing her for a kiss. After that we headed to her place where we were kind of all over each other. Same in every other case before her. Things just happened.

    Planning to have sex sounds incredibly boring to me. For me it was always the spontaneity of an intimate bond established through communication and touching, then one form of touch leading to another (holding hands to kiss to grabbing each other's bodies) until we're basically jumping into bed with each other.

    • Oh, I thought you were talking about first times with new girls. If you mean inside a relationship, we actually do something prepare. I usually find my wife gets in the mood if I dress sharp and do romantic things for her. She knows how to get me in the mood by dressing up in a sexy way. And we actually have a pillow she uses where the "yes" side means she wants sex, the "no" side means she's not in the mood.

  • I personally think there has to be a connection. Not sure of logistically it happening. With a nice girl, it would naturally happen.

    There are players who pretend to be nice and trick the logistics into it happening. But trust me the best sex is with a nice guy who makes you feel great. It's hotter.

Most Helpful Girls

  • The first time I had sex with my current boyfriend, it basically 'just happened'. We were sitting next to each other, then making out. One thing led to another, pants came off, and BOOM. Having sex.

    Nowadays, three years later, it still sometimes just happens. Triggers are usually if we know we don't have much time and if both of us are horny af, then why not just get our needs taken care of?

  • Well for horny teenagers almost anything can turn into sex. Making cereal? *bang bang* Give your SO a kiss? *bang bang* Cuddling? *bang bang* Nothing happening? *bang bang*
    It happens, it can be planned, and most touching (for us) or sexual phrases can turn into it

  • Some times it's planned "Tonight, I have something planned for you." Most of the time, it just happens. *I am in bed next to man who throws it down-he's in bed next to a little animal-clothes are already off-sex*

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Most people are neurotic, and accept traditional sex roles, in the US. So you have to get girls drunk half the time.

    Prefer France where having sex is part of getting to know someone, and it happens spontaneously without any planning.

    • Thanks for the MHO, cherie!

  • All of the above.

  • This is how it typically goes:

    Me: *Doing some mundane, regular every day stuff*
    Boyfriend: *Suddenly comes out of no where and starts trying to have sex with me.*
    Me: *Well okay then*

  • Do you mean the first time or in general?

    • General if there is sexual tension

    • Well it just happens. A smooch turns into something more vigorous :)

    • 🔥🔥🔥

  • It just happens... when a touch turns in to a caress and the spark ignites a fire of passion.;-*

  • I would say it would be a crazy crazy chemistry sexsual match! That you won't be even able to resist in each other's presence.

  • Just happens for me but there are people that need the planning

  • Planning it usually puts pressure on everything. You just wait for the moment and then you both know. People are good at communicating these things non verbally. It's a biological thing.

  • For me it happened out of lust (and because i trusted him of course)

  • Love is hard work. Like everything in life worth having, love takes time, effort, and dedication. It's not some magical thing that just happens and then stays. Both sides have to be willing to concede certain parts of their lives for the other's sake. It's difficult sometimes, but, like many things you put time and effort into, the reward is worth the hard work.

  • I put a pin in my schedule for love intercourse.

  • I think its more of a thing you just go with the flow sort of ordeal.

  • No, sex is not like on movies that suddenly happens.

    You kind of plan it... need to shave, clean up, smell well, condoms, go over kamasutra sketch, clean bed sheet and romantic environment, make sure there's no one else at home, take pills for premature ejaculation

  • Just happens and triggers

  • Not planning

  • Usually people lead up to it by gradually increasing sexual contact. Kissing becomes making out, making out becomes exploring bodies, exploring bodies becomes touching genitals, touching genitals leads to some sort of contact intended to bring about orgasm. Some couples engage in touching and/or oral to foreplay a few times first before intercourse.

    • Increased comfort with each other helps push this contact forward and with each progression, the urge for sex together gets stronger. It's a very intense human drive.

  • It just happens. If the chemistry is there it will happen naturally. I had a friend who tried to set up an actual day and time to have sex for the first time with her boyfriend. That would be interesting to put in your date book..

  • When my sister had sex we fell in love.

  • Plan a little, but go with the flow there after

  • It just happens, hormones trigger it

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > For people who have been in love: does sex 'just happen'? Or do you have to plan it? Or what triggers it?