First thing threesome didn’t go as planned?

For about six months, me and my wife talked about doing a MFM threesome. We planned it out in our heads how it would go down. Fast forward it happened earlier today. Once it was the other man's turn to have sex with her, after being penetrated, she suddenly starts moaning (really different than with me) talking in Spanish (she only talks in English any other time), I haven't heard her speak any type of her native Spanish language in FOUR YEARS (which was the day we FIRST MET) until today. It's like she let this other guy take over. I didn't wanna look jealous or insecure so I held my tongue. After I was done, She allowed him to do anal and throat gag her (for about two minutes) and slap her face, choke her neck till it turned red she even let him ejaculate onto her face and even got it in her hair and nose. I was shocked as hell. I have asked her REPEATEDLY in the past to let me try these things with her but she ALWAYS dismissed it. I HAVE NEVER seen her behave like this, it was as if I wasn't even there and I started to feel left out and got irritated. She even swore in her language as well. She has NEVER done or let me do ANY of these things to/with her. They kept going for like an HOUR AND A HALF until they were both sweaty after I was finished. Hearing that from the kitchen made me cringe. I felt like I got the short end of that whole ordeal like I wasn't even there. Was I wrong for not saying anything or stopping it from going too far? I can't help but wonder if and how would she have reacted or did if I would have called her out on it right then and there and put a stop to it when she first started to get intense? Would any of you guys out there be pissed at or no?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Didn't really sound like you had a threesome.. like it was more like two men taking turns having sex with one woman. I'm sorry, that does sound terrible though. If you ever do try again you should instill something similar to a "safeword" like something either of you can say if you're starting to get uncomfortable with what's happening.

    It sounds really bad, but sometimes it might be the thing where, because this isn't a guy she cares about or may see again, she's more sexually open with it because it's just a fling and not serious to her. Either way, it's something you need to discuss with her though because this has affected you greatly and you need to get down to why she was okay with this other man doing those things, and not with you. Try your best not to come across accusatory and demanding, just try and understand from her why she let go with him and won't ever with you.

    I personally entertain the idea of threesomes but would never go through with it for precisely the reason of me being insecure about her being better or him liking her more, etc.

    • Very well said!

    • @snowangle thank you! :)

    • "It sounds really bad, but sometimes it might be the thing where, because this isn't a guy she cares about or may see again, she's more sexually open with it because it's just a fling and not serious to her." Yes, this is a "thing" for many women - they won't do things with their husband/boyfriend because they're afraid of how they'll be perceived, but they'll let a stranger do those things because they don't care how he perceives her. It may seem twisted, but it's not at all uncommon.

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  • I don't get how anyone would want gagged or choked. But I'm also not a person that likes the idea of getting things in my face or swallowing as I'd choke.

    I can see you're feeling jealous and left out. Those are risks with a 3some. But also you probably click with other women different if she was to have a 3some with you and another woman. Sometimes our bodies measurements inside and out are different. So one size does not fit all. Though more than one size can fit and feel good.

    Perhaps it's also due to differences in your personalities or the fact that you're their all the time the other one isn't making one thing more kinky than the other. If you care about each other you can talk it out. Perhaps their bend hit their gspot different. Maybe there are some changes that might make it similar. Maybe they thought they were turning you on and not off.

    She'd not be with you if there wasn't a reason such as love and friendship. Especially if you have an open relationship or swing.

    • I forgot to add I saw someone's post earlier about erotic hypnotism. Maybe the guy did that and it helped the girl relax or be in a dream like state where she didn't panic and would just go with it. One guy was able to do that to me and also he was otherwise quite gentle outside the bedroom and in the bedroom if it was vanilla he still made it close to the gspot so I think as I said before maybe i might be the guys bend. You can't do much about a bend but the erotic hypnosis and relaxation can be learned.

  • Hahaha oh man...

    You didn’t have a threesome dude... you let some other dude fuck your wife in front of you after you finished... a threesome is three people actively participating in sex acts together.

    As for why she did all that stuff with him that she never does with you? Maybe she was annoyed when you basically just stepped out and let him take over instead of making it a shared experience so she was trying to see how far you'd let it go before finally stepping back in? Lol

    • You really think that? ?

    • I wasn't there so I don't know what happened or why... just saying, that's a possibility. She's your WIFE dude... fuckin talk to her about it... if you can't talk to her, you really need to evaluate why you're even married.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Buddy,

    You pulled the shotgun out of the closet, loaded up both barrels, cocked the hammers, pointed the muzzle at your feet, and pulled the trigger. Now you are shocked that your foot is in terrible pain and that you're in the hospital - but you only have yourself to blame.

    These things are the risk in any threesome. Of COURSE the new person is "more exciting" (being new virtually always has that effect), and it isn't surprising that that drove her wild. It was supposed to - but you should have known that would happen, because it was obvious. That's the POINT of a threesome. Either you're the type of guy who gets off watching another man with her, or you aren't, and if you aren't, you're an idiot for bringing another guy in the bedroom with you.

    And, now, instead of spinning this in your favor ("What a great guy I am for helping you fulfill this fantasy!"), you're going to resent her and not trust her. You might as well divorce her now, because you've poisoned your marriage with your jealousy and shortsightedness.

  • Dude... Bad idea to do that, it never brings anything positive to the table lol. Sounds like you were cucked lmao.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • After reading your story I’ll have to admit that in my opinion this wasn’t a threesome. You were just two males having sex with the same female. Didn’t matter that you’re the installed permanent mate to the woman; you were irrelevant this time around, and seeing as the other male was new, it was more erotic and sexually stimulating for her than having the regular sex you and her been having.

    As harsh as this may sound, but she just let herself go with this other guy. She allowed him to do things to her that she never allowed you to do, because you’re the safe one. She doesn’t have to look you in the eyes in the morning afterwards about what you did to her and be reminded how she reacted with you. Being that you’ve been talking about this for a while, probably aroused her more and more as she kept considering whether nor not to agree to it and then once the day finally arrived, she let the guy have free reign with her and do whatever he desired, and the more she released that control to him the more turned on she got, until finally she was just a woman catering to the needs of a more dominant male and they fucked and fucked until they were sweaty and sated.

    The fact you didn’t stop it or assert your possessiveness over her probably just spurned her to greater heights with this guy. You became the weaker male and just like in the animal kingdom, our baser instincts will always push us to seek out the strongest mate possible, and this time that was not you. I would suggest that in the future don’t try this again unless you can be more assertive and dominant, otherwise you’re going to end up being the cockhold.

  • that is one of the outcomes of a threesome that you gotta take into consideration before having one. not everything goes as planned. espcially when hormones are involved and ur letting loose. u have a a right to be pissed, of course! but its something you both should have thought about before letting another dude into ur woman.
    maybe talking about it, and not trying that again, will help you feel better.

  • media.makeameme.org/created/ha-ha-ha-3k0s8c.jpg

    Seeing as she wanted a MFM threesome the inner freak in her was going to come out and I assume she picked the guy. They will be fucking for now on so I hope you get used to sharing your wife. Good luck.

  • That sounds awful.. Kind of reminds of that episode of Friends when Ross and Carol try a threesome but Ross ends up making a sandwich.

  • i imagine most threesomes don't go the way most people expect or hope. i think that's why lots of people make rules.

    also sounds like your wife simply slept with another man as opposed to having a threesome

    i don't think you really have room to be pissed unless she violated specific terms of the arrangement. you could be frustrated she did things with him she won't or doesn't do with you but i don't think you can truly be angry at her

    • i think she may have done those things with that guy specifically because he isn't you. she may feel like there are things she can't or doesn't want to do with you that she did with him kind of out of a respect for the marital relationship (if that makes sense).

  • you have to. address this with her as soon as possible. talk with her about this.
    keep us updated

  • Now's your chance. Don't get too upset just yet because now you have a chance to do all that shit to her. Don't ask her first, you'll turn her off. Just do it, do it exactly the same way the other guy did.

    Take out all your sexual frustrations on her and it will turn into sex that will leave her shaking in her bed like that other loser wishes he could.

  • You were wrong to ever agree in doing it in the first place. You made your bed and now have to lie in it.

    I wouldn't do a MFM... just for that reason. I've only have had 1 FMF, and my girl was the one to invite her friend to join.

    I guess the guy was also Bigger? Which also is a big mistake couples do when first trying the threesome.. never get a guy bigger until you know how you feel with the whole experience.

  • You guys should have talked about what wasn't allowed.

  • Welcome to the reality, of swinging.

    Your experience is typical of most couple, where one feels like they got the short end of the stick.

    Trying to add some spice to your sex life by adding another person to it, does not usually work out so good for most couples that try it and sad to say it usually leads to that couple splitting up.

    I feel a bit sorry for you, as now your wife experienced some mind blowing sex with someone else. She is most likely to seek out similar experiences again, because she now knows she can get from someone else what she is not getting from you.

    Here is something that may help you out in the bedroom, when you want to try something. Do that something, and don't ask permission. It is better to seek forgiveness later, than to ask permission ahead of time.

    A woman in the mood she want to be kissed, not asked if it is ok to kiss her. A woman wants to be ravaged, not asked if it is ok to ravage her.

    That guy got away with doing all the things he did, because he did them and did not ask permission before doing them like you do.

    So stop feeling sorry for yourself, man the fuck up and show your wife you can be the caveman some times and are not just the sensitive girly-man she is use to.

  • What did you think was going to happen. What was your motivation for doing it? If you felt uncomfortable you should have stopped it. You asked for permission to try these things. He took control. Who's idea was this. You should have tied him up and returned the favor. You definitely got cucked. And you should probably reevaluate your manhood the fact you didn't stop it speaks volumes about your character

    • FYI this question is old as fuck. You might want to try using the live feed for current questions to answer.

  • Reason why I'll never have a threesome lol. You should've said something. Should've taken charge. You didn't have a threesome, you basically watched your wife have sex with another man.

    • Said something, like what?

    • Something that would've made them remember you were there! Or you should've inserted yourself back into the mix. She's YOUR wife. You had the upper hand and you gave it up.

  • You asked for it and set it up. You made your bed. Now sleep in it. At least get a FMF out of this deal.

  • Rule #1 about threesomes. When you start to deviate from the established rules, any party has the right to call an end to the action. You should have spoken up if these things hadn't been discussed beforehand.

  • You guys were not ready for a threesome, you lack on communication and communication is one of the main key for a sucessfull threesome.

  • didn't you say anything after or at the time?

    • What should I have said tho,

  • dude now its time for a fmf threesome

  • That's why people in a relationship should NEVER EVER have a threesome. Someone always ends up getting hurt, emotionally. Gotta do that shit while your single

  • LOL I've heard this story before. This is either trolling or another tragic story of a cuck.

  • you r grosss how can you share your wife

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