Sexual Relationships
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Did I cheat since there was no penetration or kissing and should I tell my husband?

So I used to be a dancer back in college and I was pretty good at it. Also at dancing "sexy" at parties for fun. It became kind of a running joke among friends that at a guy's bday party, I were to give him a lap dance. My boyfriend, now husband, was ok with it back then. About a year ago, something kinda happened. I was really drunk at a birthday party of an ex classmate. Everyone cheered me on to give him a lap dance and cause they thought it was funny, even private room. It got a little out of hand and I was doing it in my thong. At a certain point he got his penis out, pulled down my thong a little, I said I didn't want to have sex so then he just kinda grabbed my ass cheeks and masturbated between them till he came on me. I don't know how else to explain it. It was really stupid but i was too drunk to even realize that, even though it wasn't sex, it was pretty messed up. I thought it was ok and no one knew, but I met up with him and the other class mates and he totally bragged about it. I never old my husband, but knowing this guy is bragging about it, what should I do? And was it really cheating if my husband is ok with me giving a lap dance to a guy? I know it sounds weird but we are pretty open minded people.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Technically cheating? No. But thats a pretty intimate, sexual situation despite the fact that you were drunk. You're in the same position as all the people on here who say "I kissed another guy" or "I cuddled with another guy" and ask if they should tell their boyfriend. The answer is always yes, tell them. If this guy is bragging about it then it could absolutely come back to your husband, especially if this guy bragged to your friends. I know I'd be extremely upset to find out my wife just gave a lap dance to someone and the guy came on her. I mean I would want her to be all mine and those sexual encounters would be reserved for only us to share. Even if your "open minded people" your husband should still be mad if he really cares about you and your relationship. I say no you didn't cheat but you need to tell him so things don't get worse later.

  • That is most definitely cheating. Ask youself how you would feel if the guy was your husband and he did that with some other lady. That's the stupidity of getting drunk to try and enjoy yourself.

    You should tell your husband immediately before he finds out from someone else. He has been shamed by your thoughtless actions. You must tell him and then face the consequences. Don't let him be forced to live with your deceit. No guy, however bad, deserves that!

    If I were your husband, I'd file for divorce immediately. One chance and that's it. You've blown it!

    • Thanks for MHG!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Tell him... He'll either care or not. And you'll deal with any consequences that may or may not come from it. If he is oped minded (as you say) then I don't imagine him being too bothered by it. I think it would be worse if you lied about it or even just eluded the truth.

  • He had his junk in-between your ass-cheeks... if you don't consider that cheating, I seriously don't know what to tell you. If your boyfriend rubbed his penis against a girl's vagina or butt WITHOUT penetrating her, would you call it cheating? Of course yes.

  • Um yeah, the only man that should get lap dances is your husband out of respect. I would be upset if I found out my wife was doing this with other men if I were him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

8 16

  • It doesn't matter what you think you did. No good can come from telling him. Just don't do things that will make you feel guilty in the future. If you want to start dancing again, talk to him about it.

  • Yes and yes.

  • While your wondering if it's cheating or not , others are having a good laugh at your old mans expense ; now how is that ok? Ask your self this , would it be ok if some random woman rode his face and came on his face as long as he didn't use his tongue. Cheating is defined as much by your thoughts as they are by your actions. So he didn't fu@k you but sex was involved if no more than his part. With dude bragging about it do you not think your hubby isn't eventually going to hear about it? Who's version do you want him to hear first? Your version or the one that has snowballed out of per portion

  • I'm sorry but that's cheating in my book. How would you feel if another woman gave your husband a lap dance in her thong to the point where he masturbated and came all over her. I feel bad for your husband.

  • Your husband is okay with you given lap dances? From what you said, he was fine with it before you were married, nothing about now. You and a guy rubbed parts till he came. That is certainly cheating.

  • It wasn't cheating, but you should have told your husband. Keeping it a secret was always going to come back on you.

  • Yes, yes you should tell your husband. He deserves to know what happened.

  • If the P didn't go into the V then it's not cheating

    • Come on! I thought you were better than this!

    • @dogbert444 I am lazy for that

    • There's a lot more to cheating than plain sex!

    • Show All

  • yes its cheating

  • This is why I strongly prefer girls who don't drink.

    I have been on this site for over 2 years and I have noticed that basically every cheating story I have ever seen starts with "I has really drunk".

  • For me it was cheating and you should talk to him before he learn it from someone else

  • Tell your husband. And tell how other guy forced you to do it.
    Since you two are openminded couples, it wouldn't cause problems

  • That is fucked up

  • Thats cheating in my book.

  • Wow I feel sorry for your husband on so many levels...

  • i don't know if it was cheating or not, but I can tell it bugs you, so you should tell your husband, better late than never. Besides it's best if he hears it from you than someone else.
    Just tell I'm the truth, like you did it here, and I'm sure he'll understand

  • I don't see how this isn't cheating?

  • Yes, that's cheating, you should tell him so he can find a much better girlfriend. Leave him and do him a favour.

  • Yes, it's cheating just be honest with your husband

  • So what happened? did you tell your husband about it?

  • Show More (4)

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