Would you dump a guy if he can't make you orgasm?

[Anonymous]

I've recently started dating this guy and he wants to have sex all the time. The issue is that I never have an orgasm with him.. He doesn't go down on me and his fingering technique sucks. We have only been seeing each other for two months but I don't think I can stay with him any longer if the sex continues to go on this way. What to do?

[America1st]

Before you dump him, if you really like him, show him how or what to do to get you off. You've got to talk about it so that he fully understands. Some guys panic in their heards when in your situation. Since he hasn't gone down on you and doesn't know what to do with his hand, be honest and say these things are important for you to truly enjoy the sex. If you can't orgasm and he doesn't learn, move on. Just be very nice about it. It could devastate and/or scar him to the point he's not able to perform with the next ladies in his life. The male ego is very shaky when it comes to sexual performance. If he won't do oral, you have to move on. To those of who like it, it is too important to not get it. Of course this is based on the assumption you haven't seriously discussed it. If you have and there is no difference, you have to leave. Good luck to you.

[Asker]

But just like how guys don't ASK a girl to go down on him shouldn't it be the same the other way around. What's the fun if I have to beg him to go down on me.. It's just would make me feel bad it's sexy when he wants to do it..

[America1st]

If the girl doesn't do it on her own, I will ask. You should do the same thing. It's sex, you should be able to communicate about what you want, like or dislike. Asking once is not begging. I've had women ask me to do things and I have no problem with it. It's only her telling me what she likes. That allows me to really please her. Thats the goal. I honestly don't think I personally know a man that won't ask. Your partner has no clus if you don't tell him. I love going down on a girl and don't ask, I just do it. I have had two women that asked me not to. I complioed. Guys that don't ask are, I would think, are afraid to initiate oral. Do you blow him? If you do, it is odd that he hasn't tried to do so for you. Give him the benefit of the doubt and ask. If he says no, you have your answer and decide if you want to go without the oral. I don't think you want to go without, but you don't know until you ask. I hope yopu get what you want.

[fuqthegovt]

Well I'd dump a girl that couldn't and was lousy in bed. So yeah, dump him and find someone that knows what they are doing if you don't have the patience to teach them or they are unwilling to learn.

[Asker]

Exactly.. I don't know why guys expect girls to be perfect in bed when half of them don't know how to actually please a girl lol.

[Jennyg123]

I had the same problem with my current boyfriend but he was a virgin before me and is pretty eager to please 😅 We used to have sex at least twice a day but I found that cutting down on sex made both of us build up more sexual energy and made it easier for me to cum. And you should tell your guy what you need to make it happen, chances are he's just bumbling around down there. Direct him, ask him to go down on you, tell him and show him how to move his fingers and how you like to be touched, it makes a huge difference. The difference between a good and bad fingering is about the difference between coaxing a sexy partner over to the bed and stuffing a turkey. Remind him you have a clit, tell him where your g spot is. If none of this works and you dont feel comfortable talking about being open, Id drop him like a hot potato.

[BaileyisDarcy]

You wrote the title wrong.

You would have different results if you asked what to do if he wouldn't make you orgasm.

Because no guy has made me orgasm, but they have all tried. I wouldn't dump anyone for not being able to, just so long as they tried.

But your guy doesn't seem to even consider your feelings. So in your case, i would dump him.

[MiketClarke]

Well, my girlfriend had 2 partners before me and had never ever reached orgasm with either of them. It took about 2 months of experimenting different things and techniques for making her cum. Every night before bed I would do about 30 minutes of research on different techniques until we finally got a system that works for her. All she needed was a guy (me) willing and happy to try things and focus our sexual interactions on her. And after 2 months when we finally got her to orgasm for the first time, we've never had a problem getting her to achieve it again. I would recommend you find someone genuine to you, and who is willing to sacrifice their some of their pleasure to try and give you the best experience so the experience is the best it can be for both people involved.

[samhradh_leannan]

It depends on the reasons why I'm not reaching orgasm with him. If he's doing everything he can, and trying really hard, but it's still not happening, that's okay. But if he's not making an effort and not willing to do what it takes, then I might consider that grounds for a breakup.

[Smmyskittles]

Only after I talked to him about it.

If you don't, then it's not his fault because he doesn't KNOW he's doing something wrong.

Like, at school or work. How are you supposed to know it's not good/correct unless someone corrects/teaches you?

- - Text it to him if you can't say it face to face. let him know.

[Asker]

What do I say?

[Smmyskittles]

You can do it a few ways. * * Number One * * Start with suggesting that he rub your clit, that way he can control when you orgasm. Show him at first, if you like it fast, slow, rough, gentle, or a mix between everything. Be patient, it will take a few minutes. Maybe ask that he eat you out, and moan telling him (again) what speed to go and how to flick his tongue (and where, if you want him to play with your clit). * * Number Two * * Have you tried rubbing your own clit? Some women cannot can't get off just based on penetration alone. * Three * [[ Save this as a last resort ]] Bluntly tell him, after exhausting the first two options, that he hasn't made you orgasm. Let him know that you two have tried and you want to give it one last shot... Just that you can't be with someone who doesn't make you orgasm. - Don't hesitate to bring in vibrators (egg or finger vibrators, as well as full dildos) and tell him how to use them on you.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I'd dump him if he didn't make it a priority and didn't take my suggestions to help me cum, yeah.

[madiangel]

yes I did and never regretted it

[summiter]

Teach him... guys need some feedback or instruction from time to time.

[NJ_Casanova]

Didn't vote since there was only 2 options;-(

Did you tell him? If not then you are part of the problem. Did you show him what you like? If you did and he doesn't care to learn them by all means dump his ass. If he just doesn't know what to do and is willing to learn (to please you) then by all means keep him around.

[Asker]

Shouldn't he just know he should go down on a girl he's 23?

[archiz]

I second this

[fuqthegovt]

Believe it or not some guys simply don't do oral (they find putting genitals in their mouth gross) just like some girls don't. He's possibly one of those and should probably be dumped unless you like sexual frustration.

[NJ_Casanova]

No, he probably doesn't have that much experience and/or the last girl didn't know what to do/what she wanted either.

[matt1209]

No some girls are against a guy giving them oral. Have you told him or hinted about it?

[Asker]

I think he's had experience before... Maybe not we haven't talked about past relationships but ugh I'm frustrated

[NJ_Casanova]

Take control and force/demand it. Don't give him any (head/sex) until you get what you want/need. If you give... without getting, you're telling him he doesn't need to do anything to get what he wants.

[matt1209]

I agree with that

[WillowTree]

Have you tried talking to him about improving? If he's unwilling to try or just doesn't improve, leave him. Show him what works for you and teach him what you like. Sexual compatibility matters in a relationship. You'll just continue to be unhappy with him and drift apart if things don't get better.

[GingerGuy]

Depends, do you talk to him and try to help him, or just stay quiet and expect him to get it? Or does he listen/care or open to it? If you've tried talking to him and/or he's not the type that will listen (ie, gets upset or whatever) then yes, maybe you have to dump him. But if you've never tried talking/helping him make you orgasm, then you're partly to blame as well.

[uknaked]

Sex fun and satisfaction is a two way thing, you need to show him how to please you, show him what works for you, don't expect him to be able to read your mind.
He should go down on you, and you should masturbate during sex to help your orgasm. If he is not happy with that, then dump him!

[LadyTerror]

Give it more time. Maybe try telling him what gets you off?

[Emmdk]

Try to tell him what you like and how you like it done. You can do that in a sexy way

[Asker]

How?

[Emmdk]

While you're in bed tell him how to finger you

[pooper89]

Have you tried coaching him at all?

[Asker]

No because I'm too shy to. I've never had this issue before.

[feminismisnarcissism]

communication is key-you might get rid of a guy that you could have trained... but I've also been with girls who seem to have no clue in bed (usually in their mid 30's... wtf? lol) and I can tell it's because they're selfish-in such cases, I don't waste my time, I dump them. Sex tells you a LOT about a person in a relationship. And if he won't go down on you... pfft... he's a loser in bed.

[Asker]

I just don't know how to bring it up cause we have just recently started having sex and I don't want to hurt his feelings because everything else is going well

[feminismisnarcissism]

you can communicate without hurting his feelings (unless he's really insecure-in which case you're just prolonging an inevitable break up for many problems & misunderstandings). Like grab his hand and say "let me show you how I like it" as now you're just teaching him YOU, not how to do "his job" etc... make it personal and fun if you wish to train him. You can also suggest a roleplay of teacher and student. Then it's a role, not HIM, again. etc.

[Asker]

I'm just also a bit shy I don't know if I can be thst forward with him cause he's only the second guy that I've slept with so

[feminismisnarcissism]

well I understand that... and certainly didn't have this knowledge at your age either. But the sooner you get used to doing it-the sooner your sex life will improve. What's the worst that could happen? You lose a bad lover lol

[futuredk]

Communicate

[Asker]

K I'll give it a go next time we have sex otherwise I'm done

[futuredk]

Don't break up with him over something that you guys have the power to change. And it may not just take one time either everyone is different so it may take a while before he really learns what gets you off.

[RedThread]

Have you talked to him about what you want sexually? I think communication is really important because nobody is a mind reader. If you've talked to him and he's still a selfish lover than he isn't for you.

[Asker]

Like I said to other people he doesn't ask me to go down on him so why should I?

[RedThread]

I think communication is always important when it comes to things like this.

[akadatank44]

I say dump him. He won't go down on you. Like C'mon man!!! Sexual compatibility is important

[Asker]

I know :(

[akadatank44]

Try and encourage him and show him what works.

[Jamesol1]

Vaginas can be quite unattractive though. But yeah isn't that like an absolute must? can you legit have sex without doing that.. i swear it would hurt the girl unless you lack girth.

[Asker]

That's the thing isn't it being selfish if he doesn't?

[akadatank44]

He is being selfish and normal dudes like men loving eating put pussy

[akadatank44]

Out*

[Jamesol1]

It is... but he may not know he has to. a lot of porn videos are literally some woman sucking a dudes dick then them fucking... Just tell him... honestly he will like you for it unless he is insecure.

[Asker]

He's 23 though

[Jamesol1]

Say I'm horny please go down on me.. and let him know if he's doing it right. that way he won't see it as a oh shit she thinks im crap... na she is just really up for it.

[COCOCHANEL]

i always make myself orgasm during foreplay

[COCOCHANEL]

i've never been able to orgasm from oral or digital manipulation

[Asker]

How do you orgasm the?

[COCOCHANEL]

the boy licks/suckles on my nipples while i touch my clit to orgasm

[COCOCHANEL]

i only have penetrative sex after i achieve orgasm through foreplay

[ModernDayCrusader]

Tell him! Its up to you, to tell him what you like and how he should do things

[OrangeBoy]

Why don't you teach him?

?
?

[Asker]

How?

[OrangeBoy]

Get some books, instructable videos, articles, also make him do it different on bed.

[TightWetnBrilliant]

You need to talk to him most guys are clueless about the female orgasm especially the young guys. Most women don't reach orgasm without lingual stimulation. So tell him tell me doesn't try hard enough. Tell him he has to wait until you cum before inserting. Teach

[kaitlyncookie]

Sex isn't everything

[Asker]

Are you kidding if you're not sexually compatible what's the point. I don't want to spend my whole life wondering if some other guy would be able to do me right.

[kaitlyncookie]

Nope I am not kidding lol

[samhradh_leannan]

Sex isn't everything, but that doesn't mean it's not important.