Fantasizing About Other Women In A Relationship?

[Mickey1702]

Sexually speaking, I feel guys over-use the excuse of 'Duh, it's natural guy hormones! Let boys be boys!" To me, this would be like a woman saying: "So what if I'm acting bitchy on my period! Duh, it's just natural girl hormones! Just let girls be girls!" I don't know about you, but the first thing my partner would say, is "No- no matter how 'bitchy' you feel on your period, you can still control yourself and choose not to act out. Regardless if it's your hormones or not." Thoughts fellas? Side note! : I'm not talking about 'natural, i can't help it' accidental boner at the beach. I'm talking more like "saw a hot girl at the beach, let my mind wonder into graphic thoughts and fantasized about her when I got home in the bathroom- even though I have a girlfriend. And I have numerous alternate worlds in my head where I bang any celebrity on television I choose."

[MrMysteryMan]

So you're saying you never are attracted to other guys physically? Wow, have you planned your wedding also?

Being cheeky here, but I used to think that love meant that you completely don't think another person is hot or attractive once you fall in love. Or that you don't check them out. That's probably not something most humans can do let alone guys. There are literally BILLIONS of women out there. Most of those billions are hot, attractive, sexy, and sensual. This is just human evolution for the female species. To be attractive to the opposite sex or to the sex you want to be attractive to is human fundamentals. That's why I think some gay guys are sometimes more effeminate and some lesbians are more masculine.

Now the problem is when he constantly has a wondering eye and can't stop looking at other women. Or looks at other women way more than pays attention to you (conversation wise or looks wise). That could mean that he might not be as physically attracted to you as much. Or his interest in you is lessened. But fantasy is fantasy. I'm sure he fantasizes about you as well. But it would be naive on both sides of the fence (male/female) not to believe that your partner doesn't fantasize about other men or isn't attracted to other men at times. Just not the way humans work.

[Ripper_E]

I understand what you're saying because I would feel the sting of my girl fantasizing about some other guy as you describe.

but if you're going to get really upset about that, you might as well be upset about the girls that came before you because they at one point pleased him as well. He might not have it in his mind all the time, but a memory is a memory. It's not going to go away just because he's with you. Just like yours won't go away because you're with him.

Can you honestly say you have never, NEVER, once thought about another man while in a relationship in any way?

[Mickey1702]

Yes. ^_^

[Mickey1702]

But I mean more sexually, if anything. Nothing wrong with a guy thinking a women is pretty. I just mean the detailed, graphic sex while in bed with me part

[Ripper_E]

Maybe he is craving a new experience, not necessarily another woman. Or maybe he's just a dog. The mind is complex. There could be a multitude of reasons.

[Ripper_E]

but I feel you. I would feel that hurt as well.

[Anonymous]

I fantasize about other guys and I have no problem if my partner does it too. The end.

[Mickey1702]

Some people have different standards. That's all.

[Opinion Owner]

But I think that argument is valid though. Why would you keep that as a standard when it's something he can't control? Even if he wanted to stop, what could he do about it?

[Mickey1702]

That's the problem right there. When it comes to thinking of other people in bed, I believe it's something a guy CAN control! No one ever said it would be easy, haha. But it is possible. :p

[Opinion Owner]

You can't control your thoughts though. I know I can't.

[undefined12]

It's totally normal, no need to worry at all

[Mickey1702]

I know it's common place! I know it's NORMAL, but I just don't care. I'd feel hurt to know my husband was fantasizing about some co-worker while he's in bed with me. I don't put in the effort and energy just to have his mind elsewhere.

[undefined12]

I honestly doubt he'd be fantasing about some other girl in bed. Although it isn't impossible. If this bothers you a lot then tell him.

[martyfellow]

What's wrong with fantasies? they are totally normal, and both sexes indulge in them.

[Mickey1702]

I have different standards. If someone's dating me, I expect them not to pretend my ass is some model's while we're in bed together. I personally wouldn't do the same to him- and I'd only hope his mind wouldn't be on some pop star when I'm putting all the effort into sexually pleasing him.

[JohnDoe3000]

You're jumping to conclusions: he never said he imagines you to be somebody else when you have sex with him and it's quite possible he doesn't.

[martyfellow]

If you think you can control people's fantasies, there's a bridge for sale cheap right near your hometown and I can get you half price.

[Mickey1702]

I think men can control their own fantasizes. -_-

[Amuro]

How would you know who he's fantasizing about? You really would have no idea. You have no idea what he's thinking. If he's into you then it shouldn't matter. could you answer my question.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2112691-was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-the-money-back

[ilovesexyfeet]

Your right, it can be controlled the duh thing is just an excuse.

[TripleAce]

Not just fantasizing full blown jerk off sessions. You need a good spread of jerk off material for that

But whateves it's going to happen. They are just people doing what they are intended to do. Hunt for a fine specimen of the female speieces

[Rohan2]

Woah
Most guys fantasize for like 2 seconds 😂
It's not like we care about the girl, or actually would sacrifice our relationship because a girl had big boobs or a big butt

Regarding hormones, girls always act differently on their periods and men understand that.
Women should understand that men do very little fantasizing unless they are unhappy in a relationship

[Anonymous]

Your updates seem very different from your question.

Fantasizing about other women sometimes? Guilty.

Fantasizing about other women while in bed with my partner? No, absolutely not.

Which is why i'd say fantasizing a bit isn't the same as 'being bitchy' during your period, it's more like 'having bitchy thoughts, which you keep to yourself, like a grown up'.

[Anonymous]

You are not going to find a guy who doesn't fantasize. All people do it. However, I agree that when you are with him and engaged in sexual intimacy, it's grossly unfair if he's picturing someone else in his mind's eye while using your body. That is terrible lovemaking on his part, and kind of creepy. You are right to expect better.

[Anonymous]

You sound a little controlling

[Mickey1702]

I just don't want him thinking about another girl while using my body for that fantasy while in bed. That's all. If he thinks a girl is hot- no biggie. I'm not worried about him finding other women attractive. Just not using me to fulfill a cheap fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Even if they do fantasize a lot - and i'm not convinced they do - it isn't acting out. That's one difference.

But even if we use your analogy: More accurately, telling men not to fantasize is like telling women not to have periods. Um, deal with it? Hell, being bitchy is actively negative toward people, a fantasy doesn't hurt anyone.