I'm in love with my sister's husband what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My sister has been married for nearly twenty years to a wonderful, sexy man. I'm also deeply in love with him. This isn't a little crush, I've been in love with him for years. I am his secretary - he owns his own business and he hired me to help me out - and being so close to him everyday is a blessing and a curse. I masturbate almost every night thinking of him. When she comes to have a lunch date with him and kisses him it breaks my heart. I know I'm better for him that she is in so many ways. I can't stand not having him I want him and it's not just lust it's love. What can I do? Should I tell him? Make a move on him? Do nothing and suffer? HELP!!!

[lyssabugg35]

I think you should find a new job. Staying there's basically torturing yourself. You can't make a move on him, that would permanently destroy your relationship with your sister and you can't put that on him. I would try to distance yourself from both of them when they're together and him when he's alone.

I know it stinks when you like someone, or love someone, but you can't do anything about it. So I'd give you these two options.

1. Distance yourself from him as much as humanly possible.
2. If you love him then you enjoy his conversations. You can keep him in your life as long as you're okay that it will only be a friendship but at least you get a friendship.

[Asker]

But why can't I tell him how I feel and let him choose? What if he's been wanting me too? He always compliments me, tells me I look good, how smart I am, always encourages me. There might be feelings there!

[lyssabugg35]

It doesn't matter if there's feelings there on his end. You cannot be the woman who takes her sister's husband. He is choosing every day. He's choosing to not tell you how he feels if he feels anything, he is choosing to stay with his wife. If there were feelings there it would be his job to say something because he's the one who's in a precarious situation. You can't force him in that situation to choose. And if there are no feelings all that's going to do is make you really uncomfortable and your sister is going to know how you feel. And even if he doesn't tell her you're permanently put something on your relationship that would just be uncomfortable.

[lyssabugg35]

I'm also going to add that you're not an a****** for feeling this way you can always help how you feel. But I want you to really think how much your life would change if you told him how you felt and he said he didn't feel anything.

[Asker]

I know, that's why i haven't said anything. He may not feel anything for me and is just being sweet because he's sleeping with my sister. And that breaks my heart yknow? I wish it was the other way around...

[lyssabugg35]

Yeah it's probably one of the most painful things in the world, the worst is when someone that you love doesn't feel the same. I think in the long run you'll feel better not saying anything and just writing it out and see what happens. Then in the future you can look back and just know that you made the decision that was best for your sister and for him in the long run. If you love him you just want him to be happy, and at least right now that's being with your sister. Maybe one day things will change but until then you have to live your life as though they won't.

[annbelle]

Don't do anything. She's your sister and if you make a move on her husband you will ruin your relationship with her. It's your life and you make the final decision, but before you do anything think of the consequences of your action. Is this man more important than you own sister? Have he ever show that he has feelings for you?

[KFoxx]

I feel like this is happening because you want to be in the same position as her.
Married, Happy life, Good husband, No worries.
dont. Just DONT. Keep it To yourself. Go out And meet someone. But get over your sisters husband.

[enis_Penvy]

@KFoxx - this is brilliant.

[Anonymous]

Get him to have sex with you just once and tell him to keep it a secret

[Jacóbo]

You can't let your feelings get in the way of logic. Would it be good for you to pursue him? Would it be good for your sister? If you attempt to pursue him and you get rejected you will be very hurt, you will lose his respect, and you will lose your sister's respect. You can't control your feelings but you can control your actions. If it is to difficult to be around him, you shouldn't work for him anymore or be around him. Try to find other men. Wean yourself off of him, otherwise it will consume you and you will risk hurting yourself and hurting people around you.

[johnmsk]

What is your relationship with your sister? And what your sisters marriage like? Do they live a happy life? Do they have kids?

[Asker]

My sister and I aren't that close but we don't hate each other. They seem to have a good marriage, but again I'm not that close to her so I don't know intimate details of what goes on behind closed doors. On the surface they seem to have a good life.

[johnmsk]

on one hand, it is not very morally right to go in between any marriage partner, whether one is your sister or not. But, on the otherhand, you have the right to try get what you so much desire, especially if you are suffering so much wanting it. i suggest to try some casual relationship and sex with some guys like one night stand. Maybe what you crave is physical contact and sexm and being his secretary and him being too close, you desire him for that. But if after such sex or relationship, still you desire him to the point of suffering, i think you should tell him..(btw, are you ready for a very discreet secret realtionship, if he agrees)

[Asker]

I want him any way I can get him

[johnmsk]

ok,, in that case, go and tease him and do some making out. see whether he likes it and can keep it as a secret.

[AustinMan]

Start looking for a new job. I strongly recommend against sleeping with him and jeopardizing your relationship with your sister.

[Ratiocinative]

Go meet other guys. That's how you get you mind off him.

[enis_Penvy]

OK - I'm going to be much nicer than I normally am.
Look, I think you are in "love" with this guy because he's helped you out - assuming you were in a rough spot and you're family so he's helping you. AND there is some competition with you and sis, which is normal because that happens with siblings.
BUT YOU have taken it to the fucking extreme. Look, it's your sister. I don't care if you hate her with full soap opera angst, she's still your sister and that's her husband, that's as much of a DO NOT TOUCH as you can get.
Best thing to do is quit the job and find another - I know that's easy to say and harder to accomplish. Until then, I suggest you find a way to focus your sexual energy on someone else. THIS WON'T HAPPEN.

[WillowTree]

Trying to homewreck on your own family. Tsk tsk.

[ParamountArmada]

seriously, find another guy. who's not taken.

[Asker]

You think I haven't tried? But everything in me wants him so badly it hurts it really does

[ParamountArmada]

it seems you just want him because your sister has him, get over it. there are plenty of other guys out there.

[Ripper_E]

Blood is thicker than water. You're talking about your sister here, her husband. No matter how you feel about him, you have to keep that to yourself. It's not worth all the things that will come of it.

[capturemyheartnow]

let him remain your sisters husband forever. You go and find someone else. Don't spoil your sisters marriage.

[Gommers]

You're a fucking asshole is all.

[singlebee]

What are you? A homewrecker? That too your wanna wreck your own sister's home and destroy families? And be a bad person in the end?
Why don't you resign and move the fuck on?

[WhereAmI]

Absolutely nothing. Find someone else to obsess over and find a new job unless you don't care about your sister.

[Red_Arrow]

I would say the same even if she doesn't care about her sister.

[Autumn-Bunny]

OMG nooo! Don't do that to your sister! Move on have a happy life let yourself open up and find someone else. That is your sister and she deserves better. It's not worth it!

[Guy83]

Keep it in your pants

[Jan1ssary_]

You know you are a slut?

[upforanything84]

You can find some else. ... don't ruin their lives... that would be very selfish. I'm sure you can find a good guy.

[Asker]

But I want THIS one! I dont think people understand how much I love him!

[wolfie12]

1) do you want to be a homewrecker?

2) really, she's your sister...

Quit your job and stop living in fantasy world.

[rahul6023]

there are somethings in life you can't get them even if you want them..

may be he loves his wife more and if you confess he might have you moved to other place or stop seeing you...

it's better to move on... its difficult but then better i feel..

[BDJohnson]

He Is your sisters husband end of discussion

[masterkamasutra]

its so private thing and only public activated, suggestion in complicated thing publicly is bad idea. i wish you were activated private options too.

[Anonymous]

Get a different job and do nothing about it

[Anonymous]

Maybe that's why he gave you the job to be closer without making yourself or your family to surprise about spending time with you.

He could be asking the same questions