He cums too fast?

Question

My man says he cums too fast. Personally I have no complaints because he has always just worked around it to get me off (or close to it) before we even start having intercourse. I get mine. He gets his. I don't see the big problem. But it apparently really bothers him. He is not circumcised, don't know if that's a factor. He's to the point now where he's actually said he would get cut if it would help. I don't know if he was serious but that sure seems drastic so I figure it must REALLY be bothering him. He's tried desensitizing stuff but says it doesn't work. He also doesn't really masturbate. I know. A guy who doesn't jack off? For a long time I thought he was just hiding it from me out of embarrassment but now I am almost positive that he's just one of those very very rare percentage of men that don't do it. I've suggested to him that he start but he said he was so upset over this that he started looking into it and that supposedly he found out that it's a myth that jacking off helps unless you use something that will truly simulate intercourse. Like one of those fake pussies you can buy at the porn shop. Yeah getting him to jack off would be a huge enough deal, no way he's going to get a plastic pussy! So here is my question. Or rather questions. 1. Do any of the guys have any advice, things that may have helped them with this same issue? 2. Is it really that big of a deal to guys? I mean he gets his satisfaction, I get mine. What's the big damn deal? 3. Is there anything I can do? 4. I read that if he jacks off a couple hours before he has sex, that works because it always takes longer to cum the second time. Is that true? Thanks for the help!

herbsman · Accepted Answer

Hi, premature ejaculation is not caused by over sensitivity in the penis, therefore desensitizing creams/sprays or even circumcision is not the answer. (who would want to have sex and feel nothing anyway :S)

The problem is actually in the brain. The neurotransmitters are firing all wrong because of poisons in the food/water that affect men. They affect women too but in a different way. Ever notice the high percentage of women these days who have breast cancer, cervical cancer or cysts ?

To correct this problem is simple. Firstly, there is a supplement (CHEAP) called Melatonin... buy it, take it at night. It helps with a multitude of problems by helping the body to heal itself at night and also it regulates serotonin which plays a role in ejaculation.

Secondly, there is a herb called Vitex, it decreases prolactin so that increases dopamine (great for eliminating all PMS symptoms in women and also it decreases refractory period in men) so in other words he can go again and again without having to wait very long.

Lastly there is green tea. you can actually drink the tea (I don't recommend this because it's HOT lol I live in the Caribbean so you know I'm not friends with hot drinks) or just take the herbal tablet.

All good advice and all CHEAP supplements available without a prescription.

Also, AVOID artificial ANYTHING (aspartame, etc) they work on a mutated form of amino acids eg. phenylalanine is used to make aspartame and phenylalanine is also a precursor to Dopamine so mess with artificial stuff and your body is gonna take a beating, starting with the smallest appendage :P)

One side note is make sure he doesn't cheat... I had a friend with this problem so I told him what to do. The problem went away, his wife THOROUGHLY thanked me with cookies and baked goods for a month, THEN he started humping up the neighborhood (wife's words)

He literally thought he was God's gift to women and went at it like he could win an award in the Olympics.

Hope this helps... I love herbs and cheap alternatives to solving problems :)

Kodageas · Accepted Answer

I have the same problem as he does. I too work around my wife getting her off in foreplay and other ways as well; however when it comes down to it I come too fast. I used to last a minimum of a half an hour to an hour but for some reason something changed and I can't last more than 5 min unless I am on a heavy pain killer like oxicodone. I hate myself for this because to me its embarrassing and depressing.  I have tried a bunch of things and almost all haven't worked so it makes the situation on my side worse. My wife doesn't understand why I get so upset with myself I wish she had your understanding, even though I know she doesn't care about how long I last or even if she gets off at all. I am looking for answers too.  Sometimes having an intense Blow Job will help it has to be the blow job that puts a burning sensation all the way down the lower half of his body you can achieve this by focusing on the side that faces up when he's on his back to the tip.  It might take a little bit but once he says he feels it keep it going until he nuts.  He should be able to stay hard and go immediately for a second round inside you and last at least ten minutes. Keep supporting him is all you can do.  There is an old first rule that I know I was tought and that is no matter if she comes during foreplay and or orgasms once he enters inside she has to come first then him.  That could be part of it as well.

ohhmylovely · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of guys are self conscious about this because they feel like somethings wrong with them even if you tell them time after time that it's okay. Guys want to please you and he probably feels like he's not pleasing you enough by being so short. Also, what guy would want to end early? It's a good feeling for them and having it not last long enough can be frustrating to themselves too. The more he has sex, the longer he should be able to last. I know the guy I sleep with, when I first met him he told me he has not had sex in a very long time and the first time we did it together, he did not last long at all. However, the more we got it on, the longer he would be able to last. I don't really know the science behind that, but I guess the more you have sex (and I'm assuming the more you jerk off too) the longer you can, in a way "train" your body, to hold it longer. I also know that a lot of guys are hornier in the morning so they don't last as long in the morning as they do at night. I also know that jacking off before having sex will make him last longer because it will be harder to reach his climax the second time. I've found that to even be true with myself.

So my suggestions are that just have sex more and don't worry about it, with time he should begin to last a little longer. I believe jerking off more would help to and if he's willing to cut his penis off for him to last longer, I'm sure he'll be willing to jerk off to last longer in bed. Or maybe just have him jerk off a little bit before you guys have sex, or instead of jerking off just have sex a second time.

Hope everything works out for you two :)

hetha3 · Accepted Answer

well even though I am a girl I can help you out.

what you have to do is work your way up to almost climax and as soon as he is about to.just stop having sex for a second. just kiss and rub for a little bit and then start up again .also another thing you can do is press your thumb at the base of his penis to stop the flow of the sperm.he will still look like he is having an orgasm but nothing will come out then you just keep going again and if you repeat this like 3 or 4 times.he will have the most mind blowing orgasm he has ever had. EVER

archer86 · Answer

It can be a big deal to men because we don't want the sex to end in such a hurry. My simple solution to that is: DON'T STOP! The more orgasms, the better. Jerking off before sex does take longer to cum the second time around but the volume of cum is lesser but the intensity of the orgasm is the same.

There are some medicines and other techniques that allows greater longevity but these are all very expensive and I cannot confirm if they really work. One particular product called "QUANTIUM PILLS" is available on the marked for about $20 per bottle. If a man takes this and drinks lots of water, the amount of cum and stamina is supposedly going to increase by up to 300%. I read this on the net but never bought them yet. Again, my solution is to keep having sex no matter how soon a man cums. Why stop a good thing?

Rafael151 · Answer

He can try that masturbation. It really should help some, but it's not the same obviously. So when he is doing the real thing, the sensations will be much more intense. I suspect that the best way is to just have sex with you more often, if it's agreeable. Practice, practice, practice.

My endurance increased with practice with my partner - not by myself. As you said though, if you are both satisfied and you have no complaints, then he shouldn't dwell on it. Very few couples probably climax together. I think that's more the myth. Knowing the typical time it takes a man to climax would probably make him feel better. I'll try to look it up.it's not long.

DeepBlade · Answer

Getting cut doesn't help. And apparently, cumming too fast or premature ejaculation as its called is a psychological thing too, its got hardly anything to do with sensitivity. There are some sort of hypnosis tapes out there that can solve premature ejaculation  permanently, sounds crazy but there is.

emilio · Answer

1. any advise :D tell him to watch porn videos since he doesn't masturbate it will help him a lot but do not wait for straight results after a while and not too often he could get addicted.

2. is not a issue if you like it I guess

3. do not talk about it.

4. nope for his situation it might not even get erected again

just try porn videos and watch for how long he is not going to cum

bubbakong2006 · Answer

Yep that’s true he will last longer and the second time he will get off much harder and you will get a good fucking for sure

jakesow · Answer

1. He can try strengthening his pelvic floor muscles by doing kegels and also strengthening his mind-to-body connection (ie. better control over how his body reacts to sensations and knowing the exact feeling when he's getting close). Masturbation won't necessarily help him last longer, but it would be more of "practice" for him to understand his body better. When I masturbate, I edge myself. By default this strengthens your pelvic floor muscles since you have to contract them REALLY tight to keep yourself from cumming. I'm just too lazy to sit there and do kegels at random times lol

2. It is because of societal/cultural influences. However I've met a ton of guys who don't care like you said. As long as they get theirs.

3. Just keep reassuring him that it doesn't matter. Tell him that YOU are satisfied, and you're not really gonna derive more pleasure or be impressed by him lasting longer.

4. Yes. However, to me the sex feels "less good" if you do that. The sex, not the orgasm! Just my opinion. The 2nd round, yeah I'm a bit more desensitized and I'll last a bit longer, but nothing beats those first round sensations. The warmth, wetness, you can almost feel the ridges inside lol
And it's a more fun/challenging game for me anyway to try resist cumming under those conditions lol

He cums too fast?

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