Most women don't orgasm during hookups. In your own personal sex life, will you work to change this?

Question

The reason women orgasm much less often in casual hookups is partially our own fault because we are enabling it. 
 
 If we refused to have sex with men unless they gave us as much pleasure as they’re getting, or more, then they’ll have no other choice but to work to give us as much pleasure as possible. 
 
 Seriously, ladies. You’re worth more than some mediocre sex that results in orgasm only 10% of the time. Who’s benefiting more from such a hookup? Clearly the man, and that’s unfair. If you’re not getting an orgasm, then they don’t deserve one either, so just don’t have sex with them. By the way, this won’t end up with you not being able to have sex at all, because like I said, many men are desperate enough that if they have no other choice but to work hard on a woman’s pleasure, they WILL. 
 
 Also. If a guy is selfish in bed. Shame him & tell your friends so that they won’t waste their time with him. Hopefully, being shamed for not working hard in bed, will decrease other men’s chances of doing the same, at least if they want to get laid.

redeyemindtricks · Accepted Answer

Hahah... As a sexual partner, I'm selfish as hell. I basically have 5 priorities when it comes to fucking: Me me me me me.

And... you know what?

Boys LIKE this.

In fact, that's an understatement. Boys don't just like this... Boys LOVE this.

Srsly.

Repeat after me, 50 times:
MEN ••LOVE•• A WOMAN WHO'S SELFISH IN BED.
... And who makes it all about HER, and HER pleasure.

See... you have to remember the fundamental difference, here, between men and women:
Men can't take too much PEAK pleasure at a time. In most cases, that will just bring them to orgasm and ejaculation... and then it's over (for a little bit, anyway). And even those men who can hold their load surprisingly well -- including the few who actually have significant *trouble* shooting their load -- STILL can't really do the "peak pleasure" thing for too long, because they'll just go numb, or the pleasure will become painful or oversensitive.

Sooooo think about the consequence of that. Think about these 2 things, side by side.

1)
MEN are fun to play with, and they smell good, and they're big and strong and can throw us around and can *fuck* us... oh yeah. But they can only fuck at "peak pleasure" FOR A SHORT TIME.

2)
We can absolutely redline that shit... ENDLESSLY.
With the right kind of rhythm -- one that's hard, deep, not too fast, and ALMOST perfectly consistent, but with JUST the right amount of slowing down a *little* and speeding up a *little* to keep us RIGHT on that edge (in the same way you can keep tweaking a steering wheel a *little* left and a *little* right... to stay on a straight highway for 200 miles) -- we can have orgasms that literally last 5, 10, even 15 minutes.
That's a thing.
That we can do.
... A thing that selfish bitches can do, anyway.

And men are SO into it.
Because... again, a man's pleasure *during* sex is limited, in a way ours isn't -- so, the REST of it comes from OUR pleasure.
And if we're absolutely selfish, even narcissistic, lovers who are all about getting off ourselves as much as we can... ahhhh boys are *ecstatically* happy to oblige. #fuckyeah

__

Srsly... Not everything about having a female body is fun, but... the fact that basically using a boy as a *thing* to masturbate myself with, and then getting him off when I decide I've had enough for a while, pretty much GUARANTEES that he's gna tell me "You're the best I've ever had"?

No wonder Aphrodite, the goddess of sex and love, was a woman. Because... because oh fuck yessss.

<3

SvetlanaSavachenko · Accepted Answer

Where I live I'm probably the queen of hookups, one night stands and casual sex. I've been with more men that I can count or even remember. The amount of times I have not had an orgasm from a hookup, one nighter or casual sex is less than 5%. I sometimes have 4 or 5 orgasms before he has one orgasm. My sister Sluts and Whores all have the same satisfaction experiences as I do,

The brain is the most important sexual organ we have. Perhaps you're not experiencing orgasms because either consciously or sub consciously you feel that having this type of sex is wrong or dirty?

SovereignessofVamps · Accepted Answer

That is bad, but sex can feel pretty good w/o orgasming to me. It's just not satisfying at the end, like that satisfied feeling. I can see why you feel this way, guys can be hardheaded. But IRL, you can just do what you want. Some girls even just get oral and then bail LOL

Guys get pissed online but IRL, he probably won't actually say anything... Whatever you need, just do it for yourself.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I can orgasm during casual sex.

ONS and casual sex aren't really the same. Women, in general, have more problem orgasming in uncomfortable settings. My advice is to find a guy you want to sleep with a while, even casually, or a guy you already know pretty well. And go to your place.

Maik567 · Accepted Answer

The main reason why this happens is because men are easier to please sexually than women. You could literally do nothing in bed except lay there and let the guy fuck you and most of the guys will be able to cum from that. But that is not the same for women If a guy just lays there and lets the girl ride him, most girls won't get an orgasm from that. I think the idea of seeking equal orgasms is ridiculous, because orgasms just aren't equal.

Let's say it takes 10% of the effort for me to cum and 90% to make her cum. In this scenario yes it is equal in a way to make both people cum, but it's not equal in the way that most of the effort has to go towards making her cum. It's comparable to me saying that it's equal if you carry my 200lbs bag, because last time I carried your 20lbs bag. Now this might have made it sound like I'm against giving women orgasms, which is obviously not true lol. Of course I want to give my partner an orgasm whenever it is possible. Just saying that it's not as simple as "orgasm for an orgasm".

And I don't know if you actually agree with what you wrote here, but the idea that women somehow control sex, and get to choose when to have it or not is just ridiculous. And the only thing that it's actually gonna do is leave these women sex deprived, unless they want to follow your advice and sleep with desperate men, which proves that the women are desperate too lol.

And I can't believe that anyone with a brain would actually encourage shaming other people for how they are in the bed, like that is literally what people nowadays are fighting against. Like how would you feel if you slept with a guy and then you found out that he had told all your mutual friends that you were terrible in bed, you had a loose pussy and a saggy ass, etc. I literally cannot comprehend what kind of a person would encourage that kind of behaviour.

And what if he/she is a virgin or just really inexperienced? You would just make them incredibly insecure and possibly seriously fuck them up mentally. Let's say a girl/guy was really nervous for some reason and that made her/him not be great in bed, what kind of a fucking asshole would go and publicly shame her/him for that? If the writer actually encouraged that then she's a piece of shit.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Very true. Women's lack of sexual pleasure usually stems from them picking douchbags and then either faking an orgasm or allowing the male to simply use them for a fuck hole.
The guy either doesn't care because he is getting off and she is just a cheap bar slut and doesn't mean anything or he see her fake orgasm as a kudo to himself and thinks he is doing a good job.

Women should point out bad sex more often. It will make guys actually learn how to do it properly. But women also should be shamed for being greedy in bed, a girl who expects a guy to give her tons of foreplay but won't suck a dick... is being sexually greedy as well and should be called out on it.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I love sex, but sometimes I do get extra bitchy if I don't cum. This is why I masturbate, I can make myself cum in like less than 5 minutes while it takes him up to an hour and still nothing? Smh. And no, I don't use vibrators, so it's not like I'm "desensitized", dick just isn't that great lol

Donanski · Answer

I don't want to get on the wrong side of this but women are often a big part of the problem too. It took me over 2 years to achieve my first orgasm through someone else rather than my own hands etc. It takes a lot of time and mutual trust to reach that if you're struggling, which the majority of women do. I still can't do it when it's just a simple hookup. It's not their fault, I just can't.

MrMysteryMan · Answer

I know I can get off regardless of if the girl gets me off or not. But it's a bigger turn on for me and a bigger orgasm for me and an overall way better sexual experience if we are both passionate about each other. I don't mind if the girl only gets off sometimes. I love making women orgasm. Just the sounds, the feelings, the emotion involved. And knowing I'm the one doing it for her. AWESOME. But the difference, to me, between good sex and fantastic sex comes from the amount of mutual passion and sensuality there is. If you both are on the same wavelength, then even if one only gets off, it's fantastic sex.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Is that assumption really true, 10%? How do you know that?

Women are different and have different triggers, so it takes a person concerned for their interests. That to me means, they have some sort of concern, love, commitment to them. Not to mention all the other aspects of relationship. Its just better to have someone who cares about you.

Kaazsz · Answer

Hookups like, one night stand? I don't know much about those. But everyone I ever knew who was the type of player who gets girls to fuck them so easily, all purposefully did not let girls orgasm because of various reasons. Usually the guy is hot, and his penis is small or average (average is small in many mens heads sadly), so he punishes women by leaving them unsatisfied. I don't know, I don't see myself ever being able to have one night stands with women, I'm not a player. Can non player guys get one night stands too? Cuz if you're all only fucking players, well what did you expect? lol.

Tanuron · Answer

I personally have never had sex with any women who hasent had an orgasm at any point, so I never really even understood this one. But I haven't pondered if that is my flaw. Like seriously from my experience it seems like its more of a bad thing. People like want less sex if they feel genuinily satisfied, and since im a pretty passionate creature I started to ponder if im doing it wrong. Since people always seem to care more about your pleasure ironically if they aren't satisfied themselves.

mikemx55 · Answer

"Shame them and tell their friends" WHAT DA FUK?

get real.. those who do that, do because they want to do it, and probably enjoy it anyway.

Those who don't do that, are already safe. This won't change anyone's minds.

AleDeEurope · Answer

I focus on her pleasure, but you can tell in the first few minutes if she'll put the same focus on you, if she doesn't, then I'll just focus on myself.
I'm more than willing to pleasure a girl, I love that, but I won't do it if she isn't willing to pleasure me, and that's one of the problems with casual sex, that most don't focus on you.
Most girls that are into hookups tend to be quite narcissistic, so they think they're the center of attention and that you should cater to them. Well that ain't happening. Sex is a two-way street, I put effort on you, you put effort on me.

Chico_brah · Answer

Lol this is so much bullshit. Almost every hookup I've ever had resulted in the girl expecting me to do all the work. I'm bodybuilder and I think most girls that I hookup with expect me to fulfill their domination fantasy. I love dominating but it takes a hell of a lot of work in comparison to the sub. Most girls think that pretty is enough. As if they just need to lay their since it's a "privilege" to fuck them because they have a pussy alone. It works because dudes are thirsty AF these days.

These girls that like to say they are bomb in bed half of the time can't even ride dick. Constantly falls out and they can't get a rhythm. I'm not huge, only 7 inches but there is no reason it should be falling out all the time. It's in a guys best interest to perform at his best because in general it's easier for women to get casual sex than men.

Tell your friends they are selfish? Lmfao grow the fuck up dude. These guys are fucking your friends too? You don't speak for all women by any means. I've never had trouble getting a girl off and it's not them just faking it. If it was a fake orgasm then they wouldn't be calling me the next day or practically have a epileptic seizure after I'm done.

If you can't get off from the majority of men then maybe you need to work on your communication skills or seek help to fix your hormonal balance.

MementoMori_ · Answer

Male orgasm is required for natural procreation and therefore easy to achieve, female orgasm is not. That's our fault?

I think your expectations are too high. If you're fucking just for fun, with no sense of moral direction or emotional connection, then how much can you expect from it? Why not just get one of those mechanical dicks and do it that way? If you need the live male, then you have to take him the way he is.

brain5000 · Answer

I don't know that men need to be shamed all of the time. They might think they're doing great if the woman is that into him that she's a ball of energy in bed. Before leaping to the shaming, consider _asking_ for some positive attention?

Bandit74 · Answer

I think one reason is that without foreplay girls struggle to orgasm from just penetration and the average guy's dick isn't big enough to get them off with just penetration.

The other factor is that girls typically have higher standards for casual sex so the guys they hookup with are often more attractive than they are. These guys usually have lots of other girls willing to hookup with them as well. So these guys dont really have any incentive to commit or put any effort into foreplay or impressing the girl.

So its like a trade, the girl gets to sleep with a more attractive guy but he's not going to commit or want to try to impress you.

I dont think your plan will work because girls dont really plan out their hookups. They just kind of happen. Usually when girls talk about their hookups they say stuff like "Im not normally that kind of girl but he was just sooo hot and I dont know what came over me".

Saoirse_Nua · Answer

E would be nearest to my view - I hope we are able to communicate what each other wants and to aim for that.

vampireelf · Answer

I always focus on the female orgasm. I never had any sexual contact without the girl cumming. And I'm sure about it, because I usually only have sex with woman who are egoistic in bed and only want to cum herself. Infact, I cause a looot more orgasms then I got myself. I think the ratio is 50 orgasms to 1 of my orgasms.
So yeah, giving pleasure is way more important to me then cumming myself :D

Alan180188 · Answer

for men we have three conditions:
- love, in this case the amount of pleasure a woman gets equals how much he cares for her and how much feelings he hold for her, mostly in this case her satisfaction gives him more pleasure than his own.
- lust, in this case the man loves the sex an cherish it as an act, so more pleasure she gets is a sign for his efforts and an orgasm is a trophy for his good work, in this case man would see his pleasure and feel power through the voices the look and the condition women gets too at the end of the act and will think of it as a victory.
- need, in this case men would be either lazy or selfish, they don't care if the woman gets pleasure as long as they get it and would usually fill their gaps by focusing on other matters such as fulfilling their economical needs or what so ever ! in this case men lack passion and heart or think of it a second priority and their only goal is the company of the woman !

capturemyheartnow · Answer

The man and the woman both need to get maximum pleasure during sex. As a man I need to ensure that. I don't believe in any hook ups or in having sex before marriage.

frozenhorizon · Answer

"I'm not into hookups but in my relationship, I'm going to ensure the girl gets EQUAL pleasure as the guy"

That's what I picked... but also it requires good communication. She has to be willing to talk about what she likes and what kind of sex we should have. But if she doesn't then the relationship is going to deteriorate

feminismisnarcissism · Answer

they always cum with me several times with one exception: if they're on meth, it's hard to get even one out fo them sometimes.

Kylesar · Answer

"If we refused to have sex with men unless they gave us as much pleasure as they’re getting, or more, then they’ll have no other choice but to work to give us as much pleasure as possible."
Not only is this selfish, but it's impossible. They can't give you pleasure in sex unless you HAVE SEX.
Your ENTIRE PREMISE is just like saying you shouldn't drive at night until you learn how to drive at night

"Seriously, ladies. You’re worth more than some mediocre sex that results in orgasm only 10% of the time. Who’s benefiting more from such a hookup? Clearly the man, and that’s unfair. If you’re not getting an orgasm, then they don’t deserve one either, so just don’t have sex with them."
How will you know if he gives you pleasure or an orgasm if you don't have sex?

"By the way, this won’t end up with you not being able to have sex at all, because like I said, many men are desperate enough that if they have no other choice but to work hard on a woman’s pleasure, they WILL."
The only way this is possible is if it's done on a societal scale, and there are women desperate enough or sexual enough that they can't go long without having sex. It's easier than ever to have sex and it's only getting easier

"Also. If a guy is selfish in bed. Shame him & tell your friends so that they won’t waste their time with him. Hopefully, being shamed for not working hard in bed, will decrease other men’s chances of doing the same, at least if they want to get laid."
If you and your friends all have sex with the same guy, there's a problem there. You won't deter other men by shaming one, because men don't relay sexual failures to other men... and as I said, sex is incredibly easy to get.

Flurr · Answer

Lol and how are you going to know whether you will have as much pleasure until you actually engage in sex. Also I really don't think most women find desperate men attractive lol. As for the amount of pleasure, well if a female orgasm is better then what are you going to do for me that is above and beyond my orgasm so that I have as much pleasure as you?

Most women don't orgasm during hookups. In your own personal sex life, will you work to change this?

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