Is it Racist to Not be Attracted to Black Women?

[Anonymous]

I feel so wrong asking this, and I admit from the get-go that it is a sensitive topic. But I am just being honest. I would never say that a Black woman is ugly just from being Black alone -- I can recognize beauty even when it does not personally attract me -- but personally I have NEVER felt attracted toward Black women.

More than that, I do not even feel like it is possible for me. To me the notion of being attracted to a Black woman is akin to being attracted to another man. He could be a bodybuilder for all I care, yet I would feel no attracted toward him since I am not gay.

Similarly, I could encounter the most beautiful Black woman in the world and I would not feel attracted to her. She could have an amazingly fit body, super light skin, and a beautiful face, yet I would not feel attracted toward her at all.

My penis will literally not even get erect.

She could be wearing super revealing clothing, a thong bikini, even totally naked, vagina and all, yet I would feel nothing.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I racist?

I also *admit* that as wrong and racist as this sounds, a lot of this has to do with the negative stereotypes surrounding their race which I know is racist. Even if I do not believe them, they are still engrained in my psych on the subconscious level.

When I think of Black women, I will always think of oversized butts, dirty anal sex, children from multiple fathers, HIV/AIDS, promiscuity, and a ghetto attitude.

Yet, I know that these stereotypes are completely false and racist. I admit that they are wrong. But they still influence me whether I like it or not.

Are humans inherently tribal?

Or am I just trying to justify what I know is wrong?

If I could choose between monogamy with a non-Black girl and polygamy with my own harem of Black girls, I would pick the former because the latter would literally not attract me at all.

It would be like asking me to find men attractive.

Am I racist?

[MementoMori_]

I don't know if you are a racist or not because not being attracted to black women and being a racist are two different things. Your analogy is a good one. Are you a homophobe because you aren't attracted to men? Of course not. Not being attracted to men and being a homophobe are two different things.

Everyone has some physical traits they aren't attracted to. Some aren't attracted to a certain hair color, a certain body type, a certain height. Why should skin color be any different? It's not.

There is nothing racist at all about not being attracted to black women.

Now that I've made that point though there you mentioned some stereotypical things that come to your mind when you think about black women. I wouldn't call that comment "racist" per se, but I'd call it somewhat ignorant as you exclude thinking about a significant segment of black women who don't fit into any of those characteristics.

There is a tendency in the current culture to call anything that doesn't paint one of the minority races as perfect, "racist," even when the criticism is based on fact. Also, there is a lot of misunderstanding and distrust between races. I think you alluded to the right answer to explain this latter part. I think humans are "tribal" and no matter how "civilized" we think we are, the rules of nature still apply. Millennia of evolution have led us to distrust those who differ from us and see them as competition. That's the driving force at the heart of tribalism. So in my view, "racism" to some degree is something that can never be eliminated. And it works both ways by the way.

But no one should have to apologize for their likes and dislikes. This is your personal space and if someone doesn't like it that's their personal space. No apologies needed either way.

By the way. I'm white, and I tend to be more attracted to black women then white women. I don't think that kind of attraction tells you anything about whether or not a person is a "racist."

Of course we never defined "racist." I'm using it here to mean intentional malice towards someone of another race. Somehow I think the definition that is frequently used these days has been significantly dumbed down.

[Starrk]

I was initially going to say what I say to everyone and that your non-attraction to black women is simply a preference but after this part...

"When I think of Black women, I will always think of oversized butts, dirty anal sex, children from multiple fathers, HIV/AIDS, promiscuity, and a ghetto attitude."

I don't know if I can attribute that to a preference. It's one thing to say your not attracted to a group because you simply don't find them attractive, but your "preference" is based entirely on negative stereotypes. What I find even more intriguing is how you manage to only be influence by the negative stereotypes relating to black women, but the negative stereotypes surrounding white, Latina, and Asian women don't bother you.

So if we were going by the textbook defintion of racist/racism, you would technically fit in that category, but the racism you exhibit isn't malicious but it is based off of ignorance. It's common for people to paint a generalized picture of a group by using stereotypes when they don't interact with said group very often if at all.

If you despise this belief of yours and would like to eradicate it then I would suggest you hang out with some cool black people who are down to Earth. All it takes is one good friend to shatter all stereotypes.

FYI: I love Black Women. The amount of skin color variety in that single group is breathtaking.

[Anonymous]

First of all, kudos to you for being so open, vulnerable, and honest. It takes a lot to put yourself out there like this and share something like that with the public. I intend to be entirely honest and respectful of you as an individual.

Yes, not being attracted to a collective particular race is racist because it falls under the definition of sexual racism where racial prejudice is enacted through romance and sex. If you’re more curious, here’s a great article written about the psychology of sexual prejudice.

psc.dss.ucdavis.edu/.../sexual_prejudice.pdf

Based on what you stated, your “preference” is a result of learned cultural bias. It kind of sounds like for you, and for many others, racism is a subconscious way of life. A lot of people are too lazy, too content, or too comfortable with that to actually put in the mental effort to change it which is why racial issues are still a problem today. A lot of people will insist that it’s not racist because they are highly aware that to be racist is an ugly, socially unacceptable thing and instead of confronting that they may have a racist thought pattern, they’d rather just convince themselves and everyone else that there’s nothing wrong with the way they think.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for MHO. I hope my answer was able to help you grow in some way!

[Anonymous]

Is it racist? I'm not exactly sure but I'm leaning towards yes. Is it fucked up? Definitely. Even though you claim not to believe the stereotypes that surround black women, your actions say otherwise. Not all of us have huge butts, like anal, have tons of babies and baby daddies, have stds, are promiscuous, or are ghetto. That's fucked up that you believe that. But honestly, it doesn't matter to me much anyway because I prefer black guys and latinos anyway. The beautiful amazing women/girls in the black community will get along just fine without you being attracted to us. However, you do need to face the fact that you believe racist stereotypes and you need to do something to fix your way of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Because you have never been attracted to a black girl? No. To say that you could never be and you think of dating them to dating men and "When I think of Black women, I will always think of oversized butts, dirty anal sex, children from multiple fathers, HIV/AIDS, promiscuity, and a ghetto attitude."? Yes, yes from that it totally makes you sound racist.

[Loadedgamer]

It depends on where you live to make that assumption. I used to live in the ghetto where black women just did the things that he said. Not all black women are like that, but I now have a different preference. I would date a light skinned women though.

[Opinion Owner]

@Loadedgamer yeah, still racist. I live in a city with lots of issues (Philly), it's still racist-lol. you can argue it's understandably racist (given stats and area) but not the fact that it's racist in my opinion.

[Loadedgamer]

Yeah he was being racist but it is true in some ghetto areas. You know even some black men wouldn't date black women because of the shit he just said, but no one talks about them being racist.

[Opinion Owner]

@Loadedgamer If a white guy won't date white woman it's racist but way different. Same for black guys who won't date black woman and same for black woman who won't date black woman based on the type of stuff he mentioned. If you think your too good based on race it's racist when you are that race it's more complicated since you share that race... not that they can't be racist against there own its just a different beast.

[Loadedgamer]

So Hitler wasn't racist towards the Jews since he was part Jewish.

[Opinion Owner]

@Loadedgamer I said it was racist just a different beast... didn't I?

[Opinion Owner]

Hating yourself and your own ancestry usually has much deeper roots then hating those different from you. You get that, right?

[Bismarck12]

Is it racist for an Asian person to not be attracted to a White person?

Don't over-analyze this whole "racism" thing. That's why racism "is" a thing. If you start looking at people as a person rather than a "Black person" or a "White person", your perspective starts to change. You might have to force yourself to think that way. When you do think that way, people just tend to morph when it comes to appearance. They're simply people.

[Shorty1991]

No its not racist, its your preference.

[MeaganBronstem]

I'm not attracted to black dudes. I don't know why.. I think it's because their junk looks like a poop to me lol

[Bobbyhill1]

that is a really strange way to think about things.

[Bobbyhill1]

then what about light skinned blacks? what do they remind you of?

[MeaganBronstem]

@Bobbyhill1 depends on the colour of the head lolol

[Bobbyhill1]

so you mean like dark skin guys there is a wide range of colors

[Starrk]

I know a light skinned black girl who swears up and down that she will never have sex with a white nor dark skinned black man because of the color of their junks. She says black guys' dicks are too dark and white guys' dicks are too pink (she said it reminds her of a pig). The only guys she said she'll ever have sex with are guys who have light brown dicks. I just felt the need to share that because your post reminded me of her and I always found that preference of hers to be hella funny.

[Bobbyhill1]

@Starrk yeah, thats what Im saying as soon as this girl mentioned this I just started thinking well ''dark skin guys look like poop, white guys look like pigs, where is the middle ground? this girl has literally scrambled my mind for life lol. luckily im light skin so I won't be that insecure thinking my penis looks like poop or a pig.

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it unfair to not be attracted to girls with big butts?
Is it unfair to not be attracted to lardulent sluts?
Is it unfair to not be attracted to redheads?
Is it unfair to not be attracted to anyone who reminds me of my first mother-in-law?

Is it okay to lie and pretend to be attracted to someone of another race just so that you won't be accused of being a racist?

[Soteris]

It is not racist to have preferences. You are perfectly in your right to have your own taste in people or anything else. Racism would be not going out with black girls not because you did not like them but because "insert racist reason here".

[Rissyanne]

You are attracted to who you are attracted to. People who don't like it... are just butthurt because of their own insecurities. Everyone has preferences.

[Loadedgamer]

No it's a fucking preference.

Why do people gotta make an issue out of it?

Because some of these dudes love black women and will take anything as a race issue.

You just do you dude

[Bobbyhill1]

why dont you read what he said after that.

[Loadedgamer]

@Bobbyhill1 dude you seem like a guy that is trying to make people think differently. The guy maybe was derrogatory, but he wasn't racist.

[Bobbyhill1]

no, I have no problem with preferences, I to have them but he said some pretty disturbing things

[Loadedgamer]

@Bobbyhill1 well it wasn't racist, but it is cringeworthy and hilarious In one of the lines I thought he was gay. When he compared black women to men That was stupid and dumb comparisons, since some black women do modeling and are very feminine looking. Maybe he was referring to dykes Now I've seen some hot black girls at my highschool, but sadly most of them were hoochies that didn't have kids but had diseases.

[Bobbyhill1]

ok I can kind fo agree with you, yeah there are some hot black girls that gives other people bad names but I like to think of the individual because the same is applied to any race

[Loadedgamer]

@Bobbyhill1 and I agree with you on that too.

[dede_g_10]

You sound rasist for asking this question you like who you like I'm pretty sure you know if your rasist..

[Loadedgamer]

That's a stupid assumption, considering that you're 15 and you probably don't know what preferences are and don't respect them. Plus it's "Racist" not "rasist"

[dede_g_10]

😂 😒stupid assumption I can make any assumption I want when people are talking crap like this guy did you see all the bad things he said about black girls it DOES make him sound "RACIST" ok I respect preferences that's why I said you like who you smh... yes I am 15 still probably smarter than Ur DUMBASS

[Chico_brah]

No it's not. I'm not really attracted to black or Asian women at all unless the resemble features of a different race. You can't necessarily control who you are attracted to.

[rjroy3]

Are humans inherently tribal? Yes.

Are you racist? I didn't think so until this particular line " Yet, I know that these stereotypes are completely false and racist. I admit that they are wrong. But they still influence me whether I like it or not. ". That is definitely racist, even if you dislike that part of yourself it's still racist, because you're prescribing those stereotypes to them. If it was simply about physical attractio, then it wouldn't be racist.

[Loadedgamer]

Did you even live in the ghetto. Believe me I've seen the stuff with those black women that he's talking about. some black women don't do that, but most of them who live in the ghetto do.

[reixun]

@Loadedgamer are you the QA?

[Asker]

@reixun No I am

[reixun]

People can make two accounts...

[Asker]

@reixun I am JRICHARDS1996

[reixun]

tribzap2it.files.wordpress.com/.../...-zoom-in.gif
Omggg..,...,...,

[rjroy3]

@Loadedgamer You can make the statement that most do and you could even be right about that. But to prescribe that stereotype to a person based on the color of their skin... is racist. Even if it fits the majority.

[rjroy3]

@Loadedgamer and no I haven't lived in a ghetto, but I've speny plenty of time in ghettos growing up. But you're also alluding to another racist assumption... that all black women are ghetto or grew up in the ghetto. He's not specifying where these girls come from. Simply that a black stereotype affects his view of ALL black women. So when you say you know those types of girls... well yea. You might know the stereotype, but not all black women fit that description.

[Bandit74]

I'm kinda the same way. I am can still be sexually aroused by them but I really dont like the look of darker skin. Its less beautiful to me. I prefer when there is more of a contrast between a girls skin, hair and nipples. I am not a big fan of their hair either.

Admittedly, I do also tend to buy into a lot of those stereotypes of them being more loud, agressive and promiscuous.

It probably is racist to a lot of people, but as long as you dont insult them and keep your opinions to yourself, I dont think you are hurting anyone.

[Bobbyhill1]

what do you mean by darker skin? some of the most beautiful skin I have ever seen comes from biracial light skinned people like golden brown, light brown etc

[Loadedgamer]

@Bobbyhill1 that's your opinion dude. Not everyone's gonna like your opinion, but they will respect it.

[Bandit74]

@Bobbyhill1 I like light and golden brown. Its medium to darker brown that is not as attractive to me.

[Bobbyhill1]

@Loadedgamer well this guy agrees with me lol

[JoyGirl]

I am sorry, but your stereotypes, make your question racist. :/

[MrPsychologist]

Suppose we rewrite the whole post switching "black" to "white":

1) Im not attracted to black women at all. (People say "racist")
2) Im not attracted to white women at all. (People say "not racist")

Then the conclusion: "you are not racist" is the right answer.

Always check for double standards before the sentences. Don't let just one side fog your vision. True thinkers think in the context as a whole, not just a part of it.

[reixun]

It's cool, be free. I'd be worried of you did like us with that attitude.

[Longshoreman]

You are not racist just because you are not attracted to black women everyone has their personal preference. However I don't think you should let stereo types influence you.

[IsraelJordan]

I'm not attracted to white women. Everyone has a preference. "When I think of Black women, I will always think of oversized butts, dirty anal sex, children from multiple fathers, HIV/AIDS, promiscuity, and a ghetto attitude."
media.giphy.com/media/Ni4cpi0uUkd6U/giphy.gif
wtf lmao

[Afrochick]

LOL, not racist. Basing it on stereotypes is racist, but I feel like most have been rejected by a black girl hence the disdain.

Had to make a full diary post about it though? Is it hurting you that much?
I'm sure many black women aren't crying themselves to sleep over 1 in 3 billion men not attracted to us.
Welp.

[Afrochick]

"Super light skin" LOOOOOOOOOOL pathetic borderline troll post.

[leilaNsari]

This is not a “I need to show him that we don’t care because he said that.” He’s just asking for help.

[LoloWaye]

Having a preference isn't racist but basing it on those stereotypes and is what makes it racist. Not all black women fall under those characteristics.

[Loadedgamer]

True now that I read his post It did seem kind of cringeworthy. He compared black women looking like men. The majority of Victoria's Secret models are white and black therefore it's stupid comparison that he made up.

[LoloWaye]

@Loadedgamer the part where he said he felt the stereotypes were engrained in him made go wtf.

[Loadedgamer]

Yeah it was a little racist but mostly cringeworthy.

[KiaTate]

I'm not really attracted to really pale guys.

But I never could understand how can you not find a whole race unattractive.

[Dog19]

Your awful, how dare you! How dare you! How dare you judge ME AS A BLACK WOMAN I AM 17 I HAVE NO KIDS, YOU SIR MAKE ME ANGRY

[Djaaaaaay]

Opinion owner. You should block him for that shit

[Loadedgamer]

You're triggered Wow you make yourself look very admireable. Who cares if he doesn't like black women. I don't like black women does that make me a racist. Plus the reason why I don't even date black women. Because I used to live in a ghetto area and some of them would act snobbish as hell. So it's his preference and his opinion of black women. You should feel triggered.

[Loadedgamer]

Shouldn't*

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay wow blocking another way of taking opinions respectfully.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer Yea kinda like how the take expressed its views towards her in a personal way... something like that wouldn't you think?

[Dog19]

@Loadedgamer do I appar ghetto to you?

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay stop caring about the way other people feel when they get offended. Apparently she didn't live in the ghetto where you see gangbangs, and prostituting, and women wanting to do it with you Most were Hispanic and black no whites in the ghetto I used to live in.

[Dog19]

@Loadedgamer what are gangbangers?

[Loadedgamer]

It's the guys who go out and are in gangs and they try to be thugs and will do trouble for publicity or just for fun Some of them do drive bys. Then you have the gangbangers that go to a girl and start fucking her with their group.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer Who you talking to? I'm also from the ghetto in south central la. F... do you about ghetto? Your a racist just like the other guy. Talk to me... like talk rugged?

[Dog19]

@Loadedgamer Awww... Anyways, I wrote my first ratchet question:3

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay first of all I hate south central LA Because the crime rate is high and I will never visit there, and what just because I'm Mexican i can't be in the ghetto. What you don't know if your ass went into Mexico talking like that saying to the Los zetas and narcos that "who the F are you to tell people about ghetto" You would get your head chop off they don't play. Plus I even have some white friends from the ghetto. Just because you live in south central LA where the crime rate is higher than the people. Doesn't mean theirs other ghettos.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer I'll care for who I fucken wish too , tell me nothing little 20 yr old shit f... ass

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay plus I wasn't being racist but I hate it when people get triggered you idiot.

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay therefore you're making assumptions.

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay anyways I left the ghetto in my neighborhood so I can pursue a career, and I just wish you a good day.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer Not from what your telling me.. your stereotyping and that's straight up racist...

[Dog19]

@Loadedgamer answer my recent question

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer Stop changing the subject. By the way , so did I.. look at my profile. The stereotypical bias is always racist in nature. You gave me reason to react

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay actually i just said it depends on where you live. Where I live most black women were getting pregnant and having sex with men and then end up getting STDs same for Mexican women. However that's Is not stereotyping if I'm just using them as an example. Plus I was friends with a black girl in school name julissa, and she just wanted sex from me. However I'm not a stereotype I'm just saying what I saw in the past. Plus they're whites that live in the ghetto.

[Loadedgamer]

No you don't appear ghetto to me but you got triggered from a guys opinion. He already says he doesn't want to date you, so why try to change his view. Nothing will change his view.

[Dog19]

@Loadedgamer no I mean the one I asked on my page. It's called is this girl a slut?

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay first of all what did I say that made you react Because all I said was my past that made me thought I shouldn't date black women, and it's my preference. Not trying to be racist or adding stereotypes. I know they're successful Black women if you look at modeling and business owners and franchise owners that are black women. However stereotyping black women that I lived by doesn't make me a racist because i saw their actions. I'm just saying that most black women where I lived did all this from what he said Not even being racist when I say that. i didn't agree when he compared them to men or the fact that he wouldn't date them because he did say some racist shit.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer If you're Mexican then you relate to my God parent , Valintino Rodriquez. He's my god parent. Viva la raza !! La Familia. ? east los.

[Djaaaaaay]

And I've been to Sinaloa and culican many times dude so please save it

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay how old are you in reality?

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer 3 times your age...

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay ah so your 60.

[Djaaaaaay]

@Loadedgamer What... can't read all of a sudden? When people dummy up.. they know nothing..

[Loadedgamer]

@Djaaaaaay your age on here is 56 that is like 4 years younger than 60.

[Afrochick]

@Loadedgamer Snobbish really? What about those blonde high maintenance bimbos you see in California. Yeah, no