Sexual Relationships
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Pressures to modify pubic hair and general body image! Why?

I would like to have an open and honest discussion about how so many in their twenties and teens are so pressured to modify our bodies. I believe porn and Hollywood are major factors here but what happened in general to us guys to desire that the women we date/marry have her pubic hair waxed/shaved and her having caked on makeup. Is she not beautiful enough looking somewhat natural? Guys seemed to do just fine until our generation came along and now all of the sudden, women's bodies are not good enough as they come?

Women, why do you put up with the pressures of doing such things to your bodies? Don't get me wrong, sex is awesome and beautiful but don't you want to be loved first and not seen as an object? Do you want to appear as a woman or as a prepubescent girl?

I honestly want to know more. These are not a trick questions and I'm not wanting to start arguments or place anyone as inferior. I am just perplexed. I seem to be in the minority as a 29yo guy. I have been with a few women now. I have made it a point to have a real realationship first before sex. Prior to sex, every one has said, "I need to shave my pubic hair first." They are surprised when I say "no worries, I like you as is." I find nothing more attractive than having sex with a girl who looks mature. Making love and waking up in the morning to a woman who has no makeup on and who has the full bush V is beautiful. It seems nature made it so guys would respond visually to that as beautiful and a turn on. So what happened? Now don't get me wrong, I still appreciate a girl who shaves her legs and has good upkeep on her body. I don't even mind her trimming pubes so they don't extend beyond her bikini line, below her vagina, or above her patch above. But thats upkeep in comparison vs shaving/waxing it all off or some little strip to look like a young girl. I have heard the argument used by guys all the time of, its easier to give oral. I seem to manage just fine. Never had a problem. Love it!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Hmmm. Well! As to the peer pressure portion of this... I think that it is less about men and more to do with women. Think about it, the average girl starts looking at herself in a negative way at an early age. Probably before ever even thinking about what boys think. We are mimicking the older women around us, social media etc. Fast forward and now you are into guys. Social media tells both us AND men what the standard of beauty is: thin, blonde and fake.

    This standard of beauty is unrealistic and dangerous. Women's bodies were NOT built to be thin and frail. They are meant to be able to bear children hence why the majority of women struggle to lose 'the pooch'. Eating disorders are caused by this but you won't hear a girl say, "I don't eat because men have told me they don't like thick girls"... it's actually a long the lines of "the media tells me I have to look like this for men to like me".

    Make-up, hair, clothes? We aren't doing that for men. You think I buy a $50 eye shadow palette for you when you can't even tell the difference between half-baked and chopper? No, I buy it because Cindy-Lou-Who who has 100k followers on Instagram told me I needed it. Becky from accounting just got the new Louis Vitton Speedy 45 and I only have this Kate Spade that I saved up for 6 months to buy; but now that's not good enough.

    As for the way we handled the down under area... I feel like all men have different standards for that. Some men like it clean, some like it trimmed, some want it to have a landing strip 😂. And the same thing with women, we all like it a little different and that's okay! I think if your opinion is "why change it if you were born with it?" Well then you need to apply that to all body hair on women not just the one you prefer otherwise it's a flawed statement (this is not meant to be argumentative just playing devils advocate) if you say it's beautiful the way it is I hope you think unibrow's are attractive ;)

    As for the way we look when it DOES come to men. I think that also stems from media (yes everything is the media's fault!!). I started to be self conscious about my body probably a little later then most girls. At 17 I was getting ready to go back for my junior year and I realized that I actually care what men think of me. Am I attractive? How can I become more attractive? I started dressing nice, doing my hair and make up, I would starve myself and then binge eat when I didn't lose weight. This went on for about 5 years. New thread...

    • Very wise and good thoughts! 1. Yes women aren't spending $50 on eye shadow just for men (I would say save your money lol) but I can't help think that because men won't speak up and say, "you are just as beautiful the way you are" that its still a factor. 2. You are also right on with the idea of a woman's body and having children. Us men have been trained to think that her body is perfect a certain way but when was the last time a woman was portrayed to be beautiful after having children? These are learned behaviors. 3. And yes, in addition to pubic hair being natural, why not eyebrows too? Yes upkeep is always good but personally, I prefer an eyebrow thats more wild looking or thicker vs. the plucked thin fake line lol. But again, I think us men could help by just reassuring women that we will love you for who you are and that you don't need to feel pressured by us to look the way porn, fashion, or Hollywood says you should look. It needs to start at a young age.

    • Fast forward to today after five years of body shaming myself and failed attempts at relationships with assholes. I just stopped giving a flying f*ck what men thought of me. You don't find me attractive? Cool, here's a f*cking medal for it. You think I owe you a 'slumber party' because you bought me dinner? No actually I don't owe you anything becasue dating isn't a business transaction. You think I need to lose weight to be pretty? Actually I have no problem getting it on at my current weight and I will eat these brisket tacos and drink this sweet tea in my birthday suit on the bed afterwards because I want to and it makes me happy. I don't think all men are like this. I also don't think men are born with this mentality. Social media AND women (yes yes, I'm looking at you) tell men that this is socially acceptable by the way women are portrayed in media. And then by ourselves when we accept this behavior.

  • For me I think human bodies are beautiful in their natural form
    (And I really like something you commented on previously about liking being inside the girl better than getting a blowjob--I would prefer having sex more but my boyfriend is always asking me for blowjobs. And sometimes i go so long my jaw hurts, its not my favorite thing and I get no pleasure out of it... but I don't mind I guess)
    I personally shave just because the feeling of having no hair down there feels more comfortable and clean to me. It could be because Im doing it for so long, but when it gets to a certain length I like to shave it because it feels better
    Same with shaving my legs
    As far as makeup goes--I go with and without.
    my boyfriend has seen me without it and we've had sex when I don't wear makeup
    Im comfortable completely not wearing makeup
    Its just makeup is fun--Im a girl and I like pretty colors and its kinda like art. I like doing my makeup because its fun and there's may different ways to do it
    But I'm into looking natural too
    I think for women its all about how comfortable they are in their natural state
    which they should all feel happy lookin natural :)

    • Hey can i pm you

    • @Shawn58 sure lol about what

    • Everything lol

    • Show All

  • James, you couldn't have been more right and I see many comments showing that things may be changing about body shaming.

    • Billie, where are all the women like you? ;) lol. In all seriousness, thank you for the input. I think you are absolutely correct. My opinions... Body shaming is an aweful thing and there is some positive changes in this area I believe. Still a long ways to go though. We just need to realize as a society that people, especially women should be viewed as beautiful the way they are. Pornography taught many to see things differently, we can relearn to appreciate things naturally again though. When we tell a woman that she needs to change things such as pubic hair or to "enhance her breasts" or to lose so much weight that she looks undernourished, we are telling her that she is not good enough. I don't believe that for a second. She is good enough. There will be someone or even many who will take her hand, love her, marry her, and love her the way she deserves to be treated/loved as her natural self. And not just "tolerate it" but embrace her as she is.

    • My question is where are the men like you? There is nothing that would piss me off more than being told to change my weight or that I should have my breasts enlarged. In my opinion I am HWP.

    • Continue to keep that attitude. I have great respect for a woman who is confident in herself and sees her own value while not allowing the winds of popularity or fads shape her. Thats difficult to do today as well because everyone wants to feel validated in some way or another but the very best validation and respect one could ever receive is the idea that you are strong and being yourself. Just my two cents worth.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I just started shaving my pubic hair regularly about a month ago. I'm dating more people who are into it, and I honestly don't mind. I used to just keep it neatly trimmed, but it's a nice change and I'm willing to stick with it for a while. If I ever change my mind, it'll grow back. :-)

    • Thank you for your contribution to the topic. Your answer is more less a lot of what I hear. So do you do it because you like it or is it more because of the trend of others also into it? Just trying to get to the bottom of why :)

    • I did it on occasion with my wife because the sensation of hairless pubic bones rubbing together was intriguing to me. But it caused my wife too much clitoral stimulation so we stopped shaving. Her pubic hair wasn't very curly. It just kind of laid flat so getting hairs in my mouth while going down on her was never a problem. And she didn't hair any pubic hair down past her vagina, so things like anilingus were never a problem, either. I shave now because I don't know who I'll meet these days who really prefers a shaved guy, plus I'm wanting to try sex some more with it shaved and see how it feels longer term. So I guess it seems to be a trend that finally caught up with me. Plus, during the final hot month of summer, it was a lot cooler down there. :-)

  • I love female pubic hair.
    It's sexy, a turn on and it's a sign of maturity
    I do however respect a woman's decision on how she grooms herself since it's her body and her choice.
    As for myself I do some manscaping sometimes

    • Love your comments! Very good point too. A woman should never feel pressured ether way on what she should do with her body. I'm just trying to understand why as a society we pressure them so far toward the unnatural side of things.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Its called what's in.

    Public hair is mainly for Oral sex reasons.. which makes sense.

    • Just because its "whats in" does that make it more valid? Is that reason enough to change everything the body? Is it something done because its a fad or because someone really likes it and feels better with such a modification?

    • "Just because its "whats in" does that make it more valid?" Sure it does, If most girls find something attractive... doing that thing will give you a better chance in dating/hooking up. That is like saying you aren't going to shower/bathe since it is an "IN" thing to do. No one said to change everything... That's a young/insecure person's way of thinking... trying to fit in. The differences between people that make them special. But not doing certain things that the majority find more attractive/appealing will limit your dating pool. For example if you don't like shaving/trimming your hair or bread (duck dynasty). Only a very small few find that attractive vs. what is considered a "Normal guys" look. Sure you can do your own thing but it might limit you options/possibilities in dating. When you say Modifications... I only consider permanent changes as Modifications (tattoo, plastic surgery) A hair cut etc. is only temporary and a good way to see if a "new look" works better for you.

  • lol I laser everything off
    personal preference
    everyone has a preference

  • I agree with you on this. I think a woman looks sexier and more mature if she's unshaven. It also turns me on more that she has the confidence to let it grow rather than to cave to social pressure and shave.

  • A lot of guys like it bare.

    • That much is known and understood. At least it would seem that way but I'm finding more and more guys (even young guys) coming out and saying they like natural. Ether way though, does that make it right? Is a woman shaving/waxing because she likes the way it feels irrespective of any fashion trends, fads, or what some guys prefer.

    • Some do it cause they like it that way. I hate hair being anywhere on me except for my head and my eyebrows. Some do it out of insecurity, some do it cause they're SO wants it that way, and some do it cause oral sex would be easier without all the hair. But yea I don't think a guy should make a huge deal about public hair, as long as it is trimmed neatly it should be good.

    • Thanks for your input. One last question. Would it be wrong or inconsiderate in todays world for some guys to prefer natural? As in, the full V bush?

    • Show All

  • Pfff what pressure? I dont shave anything.

    • You don't but do you prefer that a woman shave?

    • Nope. I prefer it bushy.

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