Sexual Relationships
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I had a threesome with my husband now I regret it what can I do?

I've been married for eight years. My husband and I lost our virginity to each other on our wedding night and didn't have sex with anyone else until two months ago.
I had a sex with a woman fantasy and I felt like NOW was the time. We hired and escort and had a threesome. It was my idea. Sex was amazing and my husband enjoyed it to.
But since that night I feel miserable. I can't stand that he slept with her it hurts I'm not his one and only any more. I know I have no right to feel this way i asked for the threesome but I do. Our sex Life has gone downhill since then I've pretended to be sick or headache many times so I won't have to have sex. I just can't get the image of him fucking her out of my mind.
What can I do? I brought this on myself but I don't know how to get over it.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well your going to have to deal with it. You two destroyed a blessing by doing this. You did right to wait for marriage to each other. But what was the point if you chose to do this? This will rest of both of your consciousness, not just you. This is why I say sexual fantasies brings problems. And this other than having an extramarital sex was wrong. You two broke the marriage convenient with each other. And you avoiding sex without telling your husband what you regret and feeling will lead this union into divorce. Im telling you. He already senses it. And you refusing sex and intimacy with him will make him think that you don't love him anymore, or god forbid make him want to cheat. You started that fire, now you need to put it out. Talk to him and be honest about it. Don't neglect and stop rejecting your husband. Do you not love him anymore? This is the problems with extramarital sex and affairs, it draws a wedge between you two. CLOSE THAT GAP. And the only way to do is being communicative and having sex again. Or else there is no marriage. Its up to YOU now to fix it. And pray for a miracle. Best Regards.

    • I thought we were secure enough in our marriage that we could handle this. I was so wrong.

    • @Asker That is not security. Its a marriage destroyer. That is why it shouldn't be encouraged, but sadly it is. You made a really bad and terrible mistake. And this not going to be an easy fix. I don't know what were you expecting to get out of this. But at the end of all of this chaos, is your regret and guilty. Your just going to have to live with this. Marriage is only as secure as you two make it. How can you say that a weapon is used for self defense, when you end up turning that same weapon on your spouse or somebody you love? Its counterproductive. Your sex life was fine as it was before this happened. Stop having that bed defiled with perversions. Mocking your marriage is like mocking God. He made marriage to be pure and undefiled. But it can't be that way when you want to add filth to it. Everybody most reap what they sowed. And if divorce happens, then you have no choice but to own up to it. Again, this is your marriage. You have a choice to talk it out or counseling.

  • you basically watch your husband cheat. or at least that is what it feels like you may be more upset now that the act is done because he allowed it instead of saying absolutely NOT. could be just the thought of him and someone else but you should of really thought about seeing someone else have sex with him before allowing it to happen why didn't you care to begin with? because of a fantsay people usually use porn for that kind of stuff? I don't know what to tell you know that image is for life. I'm dying to know why you'd actually allow that in a marriage and I also want to know why he was so okay with it? lord... marriage is marriage people. you're not single.

  • We all make mistakes that we end up regreting. As difficult as it can be take this experience and look at it in a positive way. You and your husband got to try a new experience together (threesome) turns out that you didn't like it because now you can't get the image of your husband and the other woman having sex off your mind. Talk to him about this don't blame him though because you are the one who came up with the idea. Communication is key here but definantley try to work things out you two have been married for a long time to just throw it away over a threesome. Hope everything works out well with you and your husband! Good luck.

    • Can I ask you something

    • @Bjjyfhug Go ahead

  • That's why you NEVER bring in another person. and please don't go having sex with another guy. It will just make things worse. What can you do? Hmm. Have you told him about it? That would be the best solution I think, or at least the first step in the right direction. Talk it out and try to find a way to get over it. think about it. Your man had had a different woman now. And you're no longer giving him sex. A guy can only go so long without sex before he starts having doubts about the relationship.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Hey! Communication is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in any relationship! Tell him that you feel like you really fucked up! Don't make him feel guilty though! You have to admit that you wanted this, and you regret doing it. But you really need to talk with him about it. You can't be losing your love and your intamacy and your sex and all that shit... because you have regrets and you are hiding that shit from him.

    Quit hiding it! Talk to him, but remember, he's going to automatically think you are blaming him most likely. So you have to be very sure to tell him you aren't blaming him. I mean you can literally say what I'm telling you right now "Hey honey, a good relationship needs communication. So therefore I'm going to talk to you about this, my head is all fucked up because of that threesome, I feel like I'm not your one and only anymore, and I feel horrible. Help me? Help us get through this?" Ya know? Like fuck, people need to learn to communicate!

    Good luck!

  • Two adages apply here:
    1. Be careful what you wish for; you just might get it.
    2. You reap what you sow.

    OK, now for the useful (I hope) advice. When things are bad like they are now, always go back in your memory to the times when you and your husband were dating and going to get married. Remind yourself why you married him. Remind yourself why he married you. When you go back in time like this, it helps mitigate feelings you now have and reinforce the good feelings that you actually do have, but that are "asleep" right now.

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What Girls & Guys Said

13 17

  • Oh well at least it was just an escort. Imagine if it had been a friend or acquaintance? Get back on the saddle, get down, get kinky, go wild, repeatedly suck his cock and enjoy swallowing his cum, fuck his brains out, or whatever. He's your husband for gosh sake! Oh and don't make that same mistake again. Some fantasies should remain fantasies...

  • Sit down with your Soul Mate and try and Have a long Talk and Get to the Bare Bottom of how You... Feel with this Deal.
    I cannot Promise You it will go away Tomorrow, too much Sorrow, but Somehow if you Love one Another, you will Work Together as Team Mates now, and Make the Past be the Past And... No more Three is a Crowd Pleas-er.
    Good luck. xx

  • That's why fantasies should stay fantasies. Talk to him about it admit that you are to blame for asking for this and see if you can work this out.

  • Did you want him to say "no" when you suggested a threesome? Are you angry because he agreed, "proving" that he wanted to be with another woman?

    Do you still love him?

    • Of course I love him he's my husband! I'm not angry with him it's just hard to get the image of him with her out of my head

    • 1. "Of course I love him he's my husband." Of course? That is not always the case. Are you saying that you love him because you really, really love him or because that is what a wife is supposed to say? 2. How do you feel about the fact that you made love with another woman? 3. He may be feeling sexually incompetent because you needed another woman to make you feel satisfied. Not having sex with him now is reinforcing that idea in his head. How is he supposed to shake the image of you naked and intimate with another woman. Remember, you are in a marriage and it is not all about you.

    • He wasn't thrilled with the idea of me having sex with a woman but went along with it.

    • Show All

  • You keep thinking about him having sex with her and you are not his one and only any more. But you slept with her, too, and now you are not his one and only any more. Works both ways.

  • Sounds like it's time for a MFM.

    • I agree. The only way this can be better is with a MFM

  • Man (or woman) up and realize you made a mistake. Then tell him how you feel. He probably doesn't know and thinks you enjoyed it. See how it goes. Realize it may not go as you expect it to. You dug this hole; you need to build the ladder to get out of it.

  • You reap what you sow broad.

    There's nothing you can do now. Lol you fucked it up in that you planted a seed. That seed being that now he has other vagina in mind. He's very likely going to cheat in the near future especially now that you're no longer giving him sex.

    Everyone here is going to say "talk to him yada yada bla bla". I hate to break it to you but I'm giving you the straight truth.

  • You made the decision to do this. Suck it up...

  • This happens so often when people act out a fantasy for real. You can't hold it against him, it was your choice and too late to go back. You must forget it and learn from it or it will destroy what you once had.

  • Talk to a sex shrink. Probably the best/only thing to do. He shouldn't have given in, but even more so you shouldn't be mad for what you asked for.

  • I'm sorry for being a Debbie downer when I'm usually not. But you made your bed now ya gotta sleep in it. Just make sure to talk to your husband about it. You avoiding it isn't going to make it disappear not matter how much you want it to.

  • Talk to him about your feelings explain how you regret it now.
    Also maybe therapy. But start now addressing this issue before it's too late. I've heard too many stories of people being torn apart by 3somes.

  • You both have had sex with another girl involved, you did it together. Just talk to him about it and explain that is why you have been avoiding it. He should be able to help you considering he is your other half.

  • Tell him how you're feeling since that night! Open and honest communication is key here 😆

  • What can you do? Wait around for a time machine?

  • You can wallow in shame maybe?

  • You made the bed. Now you have to sleep in it.

  • Talk to him about how you feel.

  • its your fault and try to forget it or make it more interesting add another thressome with a man and make the math equal!

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