I'm not *quite* stupid enough to do marriage again, so if she's waiting for marriage I commend her and wish her well, hope it works out between her and whoever, and then I hit the road.
For a serious relationship, yes, it matters. A woman's ability to pair bond decreases with every partner. She will NEVER bond with another man the way she could with her first. So if I wanted a serious relationship, yeah, a virgin would be preferable.
Unfortunately, the age of consent in my state is 16, and the average girl has already had the ability to bond fucked out of her by 16 (she's still capable of faking it, but who wants fake?).
On the other hand, I know a guy that did everything 'right' (wifed up a woman that was like 19-20, still a virgin, parents aren't divorced, she has a good relationship with her father, etc) and his wife decided that during her pregnancy was the perfect time to start partying and smoking weed. Then she switched to Meth, though she blames their landlord/her drug dealer, claiming he must have slipped it into her weed. Everything is always a man's fault. Women can never be held accountable for their actions. Accountability is for those lowly servant animals known as 'men'. Anyway, his son is born premature. I'm talking "Days away from being unable to survive even in an incubator" premature. So when it comes right down to it, even picking the 'perfect' woman doesn't matter, she's still going to unleash her nature at some point.
TL; Dr: It's good that you want to wait, and it will mean a stronger bond between you and your future husband.
seeing virginity as a gift, is pretty fucked up in my opinion. first sex is an experience one should be looking foreward to sharing, not a thing you give away as a present, cause usually a present is meant to make one person happy not the other, while sex is meant to make 2 people equally happy.
A ring on your finger and materialistic shit is not going to guarantee a wonderful love life after marriage. Many couples find out they are not compatible sexually after marriage and then wonder why they are miserable years down the line. I can tell you why. They didn't make sure that a very crucial element is there which is sexual compatibility.
Sure, it's noble to save if for the right person but waiting till marriage is risky. My boyfriend lost his virginity to me and it was very special, but not more special than it would have been if we only had sex on our wedding night. At least now I know I'll be marrying a guy who I'm compatible with, who wants sex the same way and as often as me and who I click with in the bedroom...
It might be if she's religious and if her husband is too. Or if they believe they must wait until marriage to have sex.
But it's not for me. I don't want to get married, and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't wait to get married to lose my virginity.
Just like I wouldn't expect my husband to be a virgin. But if he was, I wouldn't have problems with it.
It all comes down to your beliefs.
Personally for me and my husband, no. My heart, soul and loyalty is much more important than a piece of skin and we both like that each other had experience to bring to the table for each other. I like that he knows what else was out there but still chose me
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!The best gift you can give your husband is loyalty, honesty and trust. Most men want a at least a bit of a wild sex life. If you can give him that he will love it. If you enjoy doing giving him a good sex life he will know and look forward to sex with you much more often.
The virgin thing is a one-time thing. I know I would have respected my wife if I were her first. However, I wasn't and she was not my first. It really did not matter to either one of us.
I don't care personally. I'm not religious in the slightest, and I feel being a virgin for let's say 25+ years just for one night to say I saved it for you is unrealistic. While I'd appreciate it, I think there are a lot more important things when it comes to being with someone.
Nah. Your trust, commitment and love are the best things you can give your spouse. Virginity means nothing unless you decide it means something.
The best gift? No. However it is a very sweet and loyal gesture and therefore a good gift. Personally I am saving myself and I expect him to as well, which he is. This way it is a mutual sweet gesture of loyalty.
Nope
The greatest gift you could give your husband is eternal loyalty and trust until the day y'all die. You being a virgin when you get married means shit if later on y'all end up splitting up in a horrible divorce.
Nah, I don't think so. Virginity is pointless. The best gift that I can give to the person I marry is the hope that I will love them for the rest of our life together, not whether someone else has shagged me.
I dont think it really matters. Its cute but thats about it and they "payment" for it is being immature which may or may not endanger the relationship as a whole.
I am personally waiting. It is a huge turn on for me when another person has the same mindset. We both can share experience that only we have. He can be assured that I'm not comparing sex with him from sex with previous guys. If does end up being bad, that just means more sex to get better at it;) If you are waiting, you do need to make sure you communicate preferences that you already know you have.
No, it's not the best gift. But it's a pretty good one. It's not my style to wait until marriage but for someone with the discipline to do it, that is a great gift.
Don't let these losers shame you for being a virgin. I'm sure there's a ton of people who could wait and there's exponentially more who would really appreciate a girl who treats her virginity as a gift to him. You're an awesome person in my book.
I can't answer if it matters for or not for you. My understanding of the christian bible is that strictly speaking, the act of losing your virginity (while unmarried) is the sin. And the reason it's a sin is because of the things people do because of sex. (both as a precursor and as a consequence of doing it)
"things people do because of sex" include lying/fooling someone into thinking you love them, abortion because of unplanned pregnancy, even suicide after being used and dumped, right? So if none of these happens, I mean if sex doesn't lead to any of them. is it not a sin then? do u think so?
@stubbornstrawberry I don't know. Honestly I think about it a lot. I can't really say. We think about giving up sex like it's such a hard thing. Was there ever a time where it was expected of people and they actually stuck to being virgins on these grounds? I really can't say. But yea, those are the reasons (from what little I've read) that sex is a sin. Or to be more literal, the spirit in which it was made a sin to have sex with an unmarried virgin.
@stubbornstrawberry No, according to the beliefs of Christianity, pre-marital sex is not a loving act. The highest form of love = “choosing what is best for the other, despite the cost to myself” and could be summed up in one phrase = “gift of self“. We are called to love others by being a selfless gift for them. Thus, when we choose something that is about me and is not good for the other, then it is not love. Pre-marital sex, by definition, cannot be a loving act Regardless, I myself am Catholic and waiting. Guys usually get a lot of flack for being virgins but, I usually ignore them because I know I want my first time to be special with the one I wholeheartedly love! 🙂
I think a Son/daughter tops that.
I don't mind, honestly. The very best gift I can get is her. I couldn't ask for anyone else. No one else could ever be her. As long as she's mine, that's the best gift (and one I don't deserve, tbh) I could ever get.
I think that sex is probably the closest, most intimate way, you can be with another human being. And I guess the fact that you waited for THAT person, says a lot.
If that's the best thing you can give your husband then you're not a very good wife lol.
Nah.
I'd feel pretty shitty if the greatest thing I had to offer was my virginity, lol.
I think having me as a wife should be the best gift, vice versa.
I don't really care about waiting until marriage but I think its a major plus if she is a virgin when she meets me.
Yes! 🙋
I'd rather her to have had a sex life before me. That way she's not wondering down the line if she missed anything sexually. But that doesn't mean I want to hear about it from her.
no...
my love. loyalty and support are the best gifts I can give him
and later on our kids
I am agnostic
I think my love and life long loyalty are better, personally because those will last longer than thirsty seconds
Yes I think it is
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