Sexual Relationships
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Is NOT telling something the same as lying about it?

For example: If your ex calls you but you don't tell your current girlfriend/boyfriend. Is NOT telling them the same as lying? Why or why not?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • It can be known as a "lie by omission," but I don't think it's as bad as lying. If that happened, I may or may not tell my boyfriend. Why? I just wouldn't think it's important. Like what would it accomplish? It's not much of a conversation starter. I wouldn't plan on dwelling on it or talking much about it. It just seems silly to be like "Hey, my ex called me today. No big deal," and go on with the day. In my mind, I would only say something if it DID affect me or was a big deal (or came up in conversation, like "have you heard from [ex] lately?).

    But I dunno. I'm not jealous or insecure in relationships, so I don't really think of this stuff. When something happens, like getting hit on by a stranger or contacted by an ex, it doesn't occur to me to fill my boyfriend in. Just seems attention seeking to be honest.

  • I believe it depends on your relationship. I share everything with my boyfriend and will tell him if ex phoned me just out of respect and because I would have liked to do know these things too.

    However, I do believe it's ok to keep some things private unless they obviously violate your partner's trust. But ultimately I wouldn't say not mentioning an ex is the same as lying. However if you were to see a ex or so in person then it's something you must tell.

  • With holding information is not a lie, but it is deception. It is knowingly having information that they should possibly know, that could make a difference in their feelings. Ask your self this : If the rolls were reversed would you feel they had lied to you?

  • Withholding the truth is lying. Deception is essentially the same concept.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have found that honesty is always the best way.

    Make sure she understands your ex called you, not the other way around. She might be hurt and at the same time understand.

    How do you plan on handling this if your woman finds out from other than you? You have broken a very special bond of trust between the two of you that, if you did not instigate the phone call from your ex, you are innocent of and just as much a victim. Think about it.

  • It's a lie by omission.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No it isn't. Unless they directly ask about it, they are not entitled to that info.

  • Its not the same thing. Just because I choose not to tell you something does not mean I'm lying. It means I chose not to tell you. If I lie to you then thst means I told you, but what I told you is not true...

  • Yes! it's referred to as lying by omitance.

  • Yes. The legal definition is "lie by omission" There are certain times lying is good, such as protecting a sick person from devastating news that can worsen their condition. So unless your partner is deathly ill and may die if you tell them right now, I'd tell them.

    • There's also a certain amount of personal judgment you need to take. Are you actively not telling them because you are afraid of their response? That could be a bad sign that you don't trust your partner enough to share that information. Are you waiting to tell them later because you are in a sensitive spot in your relationship. Then that might be good judgment. One thing is for sure: Unless you did something to directly hurt another party you are not obligated to tell them.

  • No it is not the same thing as lying, but not coming forth with information that you should be sharing is almost as bad. With your example, that's not necessarily something you should bring up.

  • It's being dishonest so yes

  • Yes, it violates the ethical principle of veracity.
    This means that you should not lie, nor without information from the truth.

  • Nope

  • nope not lying. in this specific case i would even advice not totell, cause they will usually lose their shit, even though it means nothing.

  • Yup it is. Because that means you are manipulating the situation.

  • kinda not really more like an accidental lie

  • nope

  • yeah! when you tell people they beautiful when they are ugly

  • Yes it is. But if she is your ex then it isn't her business anyway.

  • yes, because if you have to hide it from them, th guilt feels the same as a lie

  • lying is hiding the truth
    not telling is hiding the truth

  • No it's not the same.

  • number one relationship rule. never do what you wouldn't want your partner to do. second rule never do what you can't tell your partner you did. think about it and answer your own question. if it was something little like this let it slide. but if you don't want her doing it and you feel you can't own up and speak to her about it than never do it again! obviously you feel some type of guilt for ending up here asking. so leave your ex where she belongs in the passed.

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