Sexual Relationships
+1 y

My fiance is obsessed with anal and I hate it?

We tried anal for the first time after being together for about a year, and now he won't stfu about it. it's been 4 years and we used to be intimate all the time, at least once a day, but he got to where he'd bring up anal every time. now we rarely have sex because i dont ever want to. im never in the mood anymore because i know hell turn it into anal. he knows I hate it but won't leave it alone. when i am turned on, he brings it up halfway through sex and it completely puts me off. (When he learned that he started bringing it up so it'd turn me off and I'd want him to hurry and finish but hed purposely make it last longer so id be like FINE JUST DO IT SO IT'LL BE OVER WITH.) I feel like any man would give a crap if his woman wasn't even turned on to the point she wants him to hurry and get it over with.
I feel bad because he loves sex and I want my sex drive back but I can't do it, anal hurts too much. I've told him I'd probably start being horny more if hed leave my booty alone but he gets really mad like no no it has to be my fault. frankly it's making me insecure and pissing me off that he's that insensitive to my sexual needs. He acts like he needs it! no man needs it! if it's going to be like this forever I'd rather break it off than marry him.
Sorry for the crap grammar, I'm half asleep and my phone's keyboard is acting up so I'm having to put more thought into what I'm writing than usual lol.
But yeah, what do I do? I can't fix my horny problem because he refuses to see himself as the reason for the problem. hell , foreplay doesn't even turn me on anymore. I find myself uninterested and irritated because I already know he's going be an insensitive jerk. talking doesn't work. saying no only works in making him devise plans to get it anyway. eating tons of taco bell doesn't work. taking graphically about what comes out of there doesn't work. you get the picture. please help!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • My ex was the same. We'd do it despite me crying from the pain and telling him to stop. he'd just keep going because anal is more important than my pleasure. Then he'd get mad I didn't orgasm, I told him many times that anal ruins my mood as much as seeing a dog take a crap. And he'd be like "oh come on babe, it's sexy, how can it turn you off." And I'd say "hot to YOU, your asshole isn't being torn."

    You're better off breaking it off than staying but I think most men are selfish in that regard and want anal. So we're pretty much screwed :/

    • DAMN... eww what a freak. can't stand selfish men. My cousin in law had the same problem with a former friend I hooked her up with, he was a porn addict. Did your ex watch a lot of porn? He sounds like an insensitive fucking loser...

    • @SmokemJay he didn't like porn

    • Probably bi or gay...

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  • Let me just say there is nothing goin in through my outdoor! That's a big "hell no"! I sympathize with you, althou I have never been in that situation I'm sure it's gotta be awful and it will ultimately be the end of your relationship if he doesn't stop.. my boyfriend w out permission stuck his finger in there and I jumped so high and said if you ever.. well needless to say he apologized up and down and said he would never do that again!! Cuz see once you give it, it's all they will want! Lol

    • Nobody can tell you what to do when it comes to breaking up, that's your call hun.. but your a young woman and deserve to be treated with respect & if your uncomfortable with doin that, don't be pressured into doin it, there are so many men who would give you the respect you deserve!!

  • Sounds like you should give him an ultimatum. Either stop being so selfish and asking you for something you hate and purposefully making sex unpleasant for you or leave. He can choose but honestly, I think it might just be time to walk awa. y

Most Helpful Guys

  • I would tell him you are done with anal and that your relationship is done too unless he hets some professional help for his porn addiction and porn inspired unnatural perversion of sex. Guys into this stuff are so jacked up in the head. He doesn't need you to get anal or a BJ because guys could give that to him too. Why have a woman in his life if he doesn't even care to stick it in the correct hole made for his penis? I would be firm on putting your foot down and demanding respect or else I would end it!

  • How about a compromise? What if you did anal together in a way that's hot for you?

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a6855-comfortable-anal-sex-for-beginners-a-guide-to-the-first-time

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 17

  • He has proven that he is not going to give it up. Time to save your sanity and find a guy who respects your wishes.

  • Looks to me that breaking up would be best solution.

    • you like anal?

  • you need to have a serious talk with him when your not "in the mood" or in the middle of having sex. Tell him flat out anal is off the table. If he continues, you need to end it. You cannot just give in because that tells him you like it. If you really hate it, he needs to drop it.
    If it is something you can tolerate once in a while, tell him you will do it 1x every xx months. even though my ex wife loved anal, and she would ask me to do it to her, we still only did it every 3 or 4 months because she didn't want to get stretched out. Not even sure that is possible, but we approached it that way.

  • run away

    • why? she loves that guy. I think she needs to learn about how to use lube and such.

    • @tightpusy451 She doesn't need to learn how to do anything. Except for find greener pastures.

    • if you loved a guy and he loved your anus, what wuold you do?

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  • Gonna have to break up. It's really the only answer.

  • You aren't sexually compatible... good thing you found this out before getting married. He is unwilling to compromise, so ask yourself what you think this means for your relationship long term? You'll both be sexually frustrated and mad at each other. Don't get married until you resolve this, one way or the other.

  • Well consider breaking up with him then. I mean if talking doesn't work, nothing else really will

  • He is the one with a problem. Sorry but You need to seriously talk to him about this. Try speaking to a couples therapist. You can keep this going forever, it will lead to you turning to someone else for sexual fulfillment and him turning to someone else for his anal fetish.

  • Relationships are all about giving... How about you give up that booty lol jk...

    But seriously if its gotten to the point that you're not even turned on then I'd suggest you leave... Sex should be about compromise and he's not trying to meet you half way... Never understood why guys like anal, might as well be fucking a dude in the ass...

  • Nothing feels better than a vagina... unless he's gay.

  • Sounds a bit like me n my wife... she really doesn't care for it but I'm addicted... either he will watch lots of anal porn and masturbate to it, or find a girl that enjoys it and try to keep it from you... that addiction is hard to break.

  • Just allow him to fuck your ass, that's not a big deal. It's your duty to satisfy him even if it hurts, or else he's gonna find some other girl to do it. Just quit being selfish

  • I think you need to break up

  • Split up.

    You're not compatible.

  • He should learn to fuck your ass properly and you should learn to accept it.

  • He's a selfish guy. Break it off with him

  • Probably not the best timeto say this but shit on his dick or fart

  • Well first off he needs to put your needs ahead of his. Second you probably lost your sex drive cause now it is just sex. It is no longer making love. Which is where you both put each other's happiness before your own.
    Try being dominant with him. Make him follow your directions only. Use him and see how he likes it. Try pegging him in the ass and see how he likes it. Make him get close and then do something to prolong his orgasm toy with him. See how he likes it.
    If you ever do anal sex spend plenty of time in forplay. Use lots of lube and open yourself up before hand so you can easily fit him in and you won't be as soar.
    While people do need sex they don't need anal sex. He probably has some kind of fetish. If talking about it does not work and eating taco bell does not work. Try getting him to admit what it is. If you can't get it out of him use sex to do so. Heck you might find out what it is by teasing him with it while your dominating him.

  • Are you sure he's not gay?

    • 😂😂😂😂😂

    • lol being gay is not about liking anus

    • What is about? Lol

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  • I sympathize with your fiance. Fucking a woman's ass is the best feeling ever. Being married to a sexy woman who won't do anal is like owning a sports car that you can't drive.

    • So its all about "me" and to hell with her needs or concerns then huh? This is the mentality that I hope all women wise up to and reject so you get no sexual action until you can unlearn the porn addictions you have and actually learn how to treat a woman in a respectful manner!

    • @James1986 it has to be a bit about me. It's sure as shit not 100% about her! Get real man.

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