Sexual Relationships
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Why do a lot of people fantasize about being cheated on?

A girl I know said multiple guys have told her they fantasized about her cheating. My ex was really pretty and the thought of her cheating wasn't exciting at all. The thought of her sleeping with someone better looking, more charismatic, more money... wasn't a very appealing thought. Why do a lot of people get turned on thinking about being cheated on? Cause it seems like someone who fantasizes about being cheated on, deep down feels inadequate.
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+1 y
I've noticed people who share that fantasy don't fantasize about being cheated on by the plumber, but by someone's boss or someone good looking.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • In a lot of these cases, you're right -- the fantasy has to do with some sort of deep-seated insecurity.
    Believe me, THIS is not limited to just men. If you want to get raw, here... All my life I've had my own insecurities about my skinny-ass body, and I've always been insanely jealous of women who are built like... well, like *women*. Like fertility goddesses. And that has slipped into my own fantasies, relentlessly. I wrote that up here:
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2068812-am-i-alone-in-this-the-idea-of-my-oh-cheating-on-me-turns-me-on

    If anything, though, men have a bigger problem with this than women do -- because men are much, much, MUCH worse than women at drawing boundary lines between fantasy and reality.

    In other words -- MOST men have this problem, where they confuse "fantasies" with "things they WANT to HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE"... and that's where the trouble starts. (Women, on the other hand, are much better at realizing that SOME fantasies are worth trying to make into reality, and that others are better left in the fantasy realm forever.)
    So... A lot of men will have these "cuckold" fantasies, where they fantasize about their woman being with some dude who's "better" in a way that she probably doesn't even give Shit No. 1 about (... I'm looking at you, penis-size-insecurity guys) -- and will go on and fuck up their relationship by actually trying to get her to go out and fuck a bunch of other dudes. Smh.

    More guys need to learn that there are plenty of fantasies that are best left as fantasies -- and that those fantasies can still have plenty of "benefits" in the bedroom even if they stay inside yr head.

    __

    Not ALL of these fantasies have to do with insecurities, though.

    In a lot of these cases, the guy having the fantasies is just... a guy who's overwhelmed with his woman's beauty and sexual potency, and who just wants to watch her FUCK... and sit back and enjoy the show.

    He's just... enraptured by HER. The way she looks, the way she moves, the sounds she makes... ALL of it. And he wants to take in the whole "show" from a point of view besides the one he gets when he's directly fucking her.

    For a lot of these guys, it's good enough to make sex tapes and to watch them. Or to fuck in a room with lots and lots of mirrors.

    For others, though, they

    • want more than that. Especially if they just want to see her go and go and go, beyond their own physical capability to fuck -- they're even more turned on by the idea that their woman is sexually voracious enough to exhaust multiple guys and still... go and go and go. In THESE cases, the fantasy will have nothing at all to do with guys who are "better". If anything, "high status" guys would ruin the fantasy, because of the (real or imagined) risk of eroding the woman's attraction to her partner. Rather, in this kind of fantasy, the guys are pretty much completely anonymous -- the less that's known about them, and the less they even talk or interact with the woman at all, the better. The other guys are just disposable fuck machines, in this fantasy. Doesn't matter at all who they are. Notice, in THIS case I'm talking specifically about a man fantasizing about his woman. As far as I know, this isn't really a female fantasy, or at least not a particularly intense or compelling

    • You know you really write impressive opinions. Thought out and very detailed Respect!

    • one, anyway -- in other words, women don't particularly tend to fantasize about their man banging a whole line of women. If I had to guess as to the difference, I'd say it has something to do with the whole notion of a woman as a purely lascivious slut who just sucks in all that **attention** and LOVES it. That notion is more compelling than the other way around, for at least 2 reasons: 1) It's a taboo... and we all know how anything forbidden tends to become more attractive simply BECAUSE it's forbidden. (She's a "slut"... in the most awesome sense of the word, as far as the guys with the fantasy are concerned.) And 2) Let's face it, women are just capable of handling a lot more sexual attention than men are. I mean... just think about it: An MFM threesome, with ALL the attention on the woman, is a beautiful thing. Her getting slammed from both sides, 4 hands all over her, taking absolutely *everything* both men have to give... mmhhhhh oh fuck yessss. On the other hand, an

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  • Because it's intensely erotic. Some men want "same room cuckoldry" in which I bring a boy home and make love to him while my husband watches and can't join in (tied up, in the spare room, chastity tube etc.) I've done that a few times and, yes, it is a great pleasure and had me screaming at the orgasm. Other men want their wives to go out in the evening and come back home in the morning, spending the night with they know not whom. That's fun too.

    What I would advise is not to hide the fact that you're cuckolding your lover. Tell him that you're going to f--k another male and when you get back, tell him what you did - without allowing him to get into you and relieve himself. Also never stop seeing a boyfriend just because another boyfriend doesn't want you to see him: you will never be happy if a boyfriend tells you what to do. Your boyfriend won't stop seeing another woman just because you don't want him to see her.

    • my ex worked in a massage parlour and i loved the fact she fucked all those guys but came home to me... i was the dominant one in the relationship

    • I wish I had her job!

    • yeah... most would asume she was just doing it for the money but she actually enjoyed fucking all them guys

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  • Either she is lying or she wants an open relationship with you or she is dating guys who want to have sex with her but don't want the responsibilities of a relationship so they hope to share her with others who can take care of the relationship part while she just has sex with them. Either that or she has talked to thousands of men and can list 1 or 2 weirdos from the pool she has been around.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I've never heard of this but I'm not shocked that some people would get off on this. People are seriously F@cked up these days. I guess this is what happens when you take the most intimate of human interactions and turn it into the equivalent of a handshake. I feel sorry for them... NOT! Clowns.

  • I don't know I have wondered this as well. I think something is wrong with them, like they enjoy being humiliated or something? I don't know but its kind of disgusting in my opinion. I can't really respect some one who is into that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 22

  • I most defiantly do not fantasize that. In face I'm pretty sure most people don't...

  • Some people are turned on when their insecurities are exploited.

  • I've heard of this. I think they like it because she's always out of their reach.

  • Cucks... cucks everywhere.
    Also they're trying to feed us this bullshit that it's empowering for women to cheat, because "it's their body, they should do whatever they want" so you gotta support her if she wants to cheat.

  • I don't really get this one...
    @redeyemindtricks mb you can explain?

    • Tx for the tag bb.

  • Wtf? No one wants to be cheated on!!!

  • Something tells me that perhaps you get turned on by the idea. I could be wrong though..

  • cucks my friend cucks eveywhre

  • I surely don't. I think you mean threesomes. Either way why would I want someone to cheat on me or even fantasize about it?

  • That's a weird fantasy to have and I don't know why you would want to have it, because being cheated on sucks

  • Do they fantasize about that?

  • It's because a lot of people are weird. One minute they say they don't like to be cheated and then they fantasize about being cheated on... #LMAO

  • We don't? I mean, what?

  • I've never heard that. And I'd most likely avoid someone like that.

  • I think many people have such low self-esteem's they almost enjoy someone doing them dirty as if they deserve it somehow and so they find a way to make that a thrill to them

  • I don't think it's so much "cheated on" as it is seeing their partner be pleasured by someone in ways that they themselves cannot pleasure her. It's an insecurity thing.

  • those guys are cucks
    It's really disgusting and shameful in my opinion

  • It's a fetish.
    Also, where did you get the "better looking, more charismatic, more money"
    from?
    That's overthinking it.

  • i never fantasized about that, and i dont even wanna think about that for a second

  • It's not about being inadequate for everyone, for some guys it's about seeing/hearing/know about your woman being sexually pleased to the max anytime she wants it and with anyone she finds attractive.

  • Show More (9)

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