Sexual Relationships
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Why do I attract only arrogant men?

Im shy and reserved, yet the majority of men who approach me or ask me on dates are classic arrogants or just very cocky. No matter his nationality or age!
Why do I attract that type of men?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • The reason why you attract only arrogant men, just as most women feel, is because you have been socially conditioned to think being feminine, being lady-like, along with validation of being pretty, is to be noticed and approached. Like many young women, they go around trying to look their best and they think "if guys think I am attentive enough to like me, they will let me know and come up to me."
    It is by far the most tragic thing I've ever noticed about being a woman. They lose out on so much by existing in this very conventional and passive state of mind. So, what ends up happening is you have 10% of guys who just plays numbers, they talk fast and talk to many girls and they get rejected lots but they remain confident because they do succeed... a girl will feel good when they get noticed and give it up to them and this keeps them going.
    First of all, being shy and trying to be noticed isn't going to make you achieve and accomplish the best you can do and be so you need to work on that. It can be cute but know how and when to play that card, don't resort to it all the time... us guys know what's going on. Also, if it's TrueType your style, position yourself and use it wisely by picking the right guys and put yourself in situations where you get to know each other as they may be shy too. "Nice guys" is a "nice" way of saying shy and not so confident guy but they will often snap out of it, they may be young. Women need to proactively get the guys and stop trying to be noticed all the time, that goes for life in general, whether it's work or love life, etc

    • So whats the solution?

    • Girls like humble yet confident guys and to get that combination you have to find a guy who was raised well and likely from a stable & educated background. The types of people you hang out with reflects on you and you will tend to attract the type of guys you while group goes for or who is attracted to. Guys know if a girl is just into cute guys with some confidence and who they will end up with is players, as those other guys may view them as fun for the moment but not a type of girl to bring home to meet their mother. Those girls are going to be girls who are into things, academics usually and seem to have a plan and more proactive. Those traits will attract the right guys but you have to be proactive and know how to approach guys. We know how to read between the lines, you don't have to ask one out necessarily but just create the situation so that will have a more likely probability of that happening.

    • When I am working in the city and walking around with a suit on, I am usually busy and I know I attract more girls but I am often stressed, have things on my mind, I may be late for a meeting... and that's why I bring up girls who just wait to be approached & noticed as I know they assume I am not interested if I walk passed them. However, it's not that I am not interested, I am just not on 24/7 "hitting on girls mode" and the main point is you should never presume a guy isn't interested just because he doesn't go out of his way and come talk to you, there are many factors and I am sure the opposite is true for girls. So, if you want something in life you have to work at it and get it, if you wait to be notice and hang back, then all you are doing is picking the best worst opinion

    • Show All

  • The majority of men who approach ANY girl will be the arrogant/cocky ones - because they're the ones who have the confidence to approach girls. The "nice guys" lack confidence, and it takes them months, sometimes even years, to approach a single girl - who will usually shoot him down.

    It's worse because you're shy. Shy girls tend to not pick up on the signs of interest from other, not-so-direct guys (guys you think of as "just friends"), and so you never return signs of interest - so those guys never take the risk to ask you out, because they're afraid of rejection.

    Thus, the only guys who DO ask you out are the ones who are so cocky that they don't CARE if you reject them, because they understand that it's a numbers game and that all guys get rejected.

    If you want nicer guys to ask you out, you have to actually make an effort to show them that you like them too, so they'll find the confidence to ask you out. Otherwise, your actions (or, more correctly, your INactions) are effectively filtering out everyone but the cocky/arrogant guys.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's because you're shy and reserved. They figure that you won't reject them, say no, and is so naive that they can walk all over you. The problem is not your personality. It's the fact that they assume your somebody your not unless you are. Don't play it off like your shy all the time. Be prepared to have some backbone and reject them. Once they see that won't tolerate their crap, they'll move on eventually. That is what I had to learn to do and never regret it.

  • Because shy men won't approach shy women... They don't know if you're interested. Plus could be the places your hanging about that attract those types of men. And all in all arrogant men think they can get anything so it's highly likely that they'll come for shy ones. Because well they're confident!

  • Because the arrogant ones are the ones who are confident enough to approach you. The shy and reserved guys usually don't make the first move so you don't notice them.

    • That's not true !!

    • @Djaaaaay which part isnt?

    • The first sentence is false. The way you answered ; Is very arrogant in its self

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 20

  • They could see it as complementing their personality.. But to be honest, its the more cocky/confident guys that go after women more than the shy guys. Far more.

  • Opposites attract in many cases. If you were like them you would repel them. Those men seem to think you are easy to dominate because you are shy and reserved.

  • 9 of 10 aggressive men are arrogant. Most of the guys that are hitting on girls are jerks/arrogant/selfish Boys. Nice guys are they ones that talk and try and get to know you. They rarely come out and just hit on a girl.

  • Because the rest are like you and are too shy, reserved and afraid to approach you...

  • Because you're already shy/reserved and the guys who have no problem approaching are already going to be pretty confident and that can come off as cocky.
    Not saying all confident guys are cocky but there's still a good amount.

    • That's what I was thinking.

  • Have you seen how juicy my shoulders are?

  • maybe because they're into your personality

  • You're shy... so you're not going up to guys - cross that out
    Shy guys are too shy - cross that out

    What's left?

  • probably becasue being shy and reserved means you need someone really confident ot approach you and normal everyday men are kinda insecure so they never approach you and you never give them and signs, cocky man on the other hand do not care and will approach you regardless of whether you give them attention or not.

  • well its because men that are more confident tend to be more full of themselves. You are attracting all guys if you look good. But you are being approached by these more confident or arrogant guys, while the more reserved guys maybe too shy to approach you.

  • It's probably because opposites attract 😂

  • Just bad luck is all. Don't worry, you'll find the right one.

  • You probably have resting-bitch face

    • Haha and what this has to do with arrogant guys?

  • thats ur personality

    • But i dont like them how my personality can attract something i dont like? i just dont get it

    • ur behaviors may attract them u being shy

  • It's not likely shy guys would approach you, so you get the rest? Just a guess.

  • thats ur personality

  • I've been called arrogant 0nce. but she acted like she can get anyone she wants

  • Because lots of men in general are arrogant

  • just a coincidence

  • Because you are a man hater

  • Show More (5)

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