Should I have a threesome with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I have put a LOT of thought into this. We are in a great relationship, we love each other very much, we both enjoy sex and are both very comfortable with each other. I've fantasized about a threesome for years but I never felt comfortable enough with a boyfriend to tell him my fantasy. I was scared that they'd see me differently and not like a serious girlfriend. Either way fast forward to my current relationship: I finally felt comfortable talking about it with my boyfriend. The first time he heard about it he wasn't judgmental at all but he basically told me that he didn't think it was a good idea because of what it might do to our relationship. The more we talk about it though, the more into the idea we get. I found that I orgasm really hard whenever we're talking about it. I'm not naive though, I know the very real possibility of all that could go wrong too. I have read almost every article on this, on all the reasons not to and the few reasons you may want to. I don't know whether or not I'll be jealous seeing him with someone else or all the other horrific things I can end up feeling. After discussing everything we had decided not to but a few months ago we went on vacation and we were having a great night and it was just a night that felt right to go for it so I told him I was totally up for having a threesome that night if we found a girl we liked. We found someone amazing, we both liked her, great personality, I even worked up the nerve to ask her if she wanted to join us but it didn't end up happening because her sister was there. Even though it didn't happen the experience of flirting with someone together was great and that night we had the most amazing sex just talking about that girl and everything we would have done to her. So now I'm really considering going for it. So I'm asking, do you think I'm dooming my relationship with this? I tried to put it behind me but I honestly think this is something that's not just going to go away until I try it.

[Anonymous]

If you are going to just do a hook up, then it should be with a stranger that you will never see again, and don't even get their number so there is no way to see them again.
Or, what I think would work best is to find 2 single girls and add them to your relationship permanently. Then emotional attachment should be expected by all to each other. Everyone can live together, and with an even number, nobody should ever have to feel left out.
You would need to schedule one on one time each week with ech person, then also your group time for it to work well.

[godfatherfan]

a threesome simply says the relationship is dead and you want to fuck other people. If you love someone, you don't want that person to have sex with other people. You certainly don't want to cheat on them. A threesome is cheating even if you do it with the other person. You might want to seriously look at your relationship. If all your doing is thinking about fucking other guys, you should probably just get out of the relationship and go fuck other guys.

[Asker]

I think cheating has to have at least a little of deceit in it. And i don't see a threesome as cheating a lot. I do recognize that it may hurt people including myself but cheating? No. we are being open with each other, that is different. Although that's my opinion.

[dsdory400]

I'm in the same boat right now. My boyfriend and I are questioning this as well. He met a girl that he likes, I like, and she's in a committed relationship as well. He kissed her and he really enjoyed it and I didn't have any feelings towards it but what did make me mad was that he was crushing on her and I didn't have a chance to meet her right away. I know our relationship is strong but I still want to know who the other person is.

[Asker]

See, in that case I dont think I'd be okay with it. I think the reason I'm so okay with it is because up until this point he has never given me any reason to not trust him or not make me feel like I'm the only person he is in to. And when it comes to the other person I'm the one that has total control over who it is and picking. I know I wouldn't be okay with him suggesting a person let alone kissing a person he just met. but maybe both of you have talked about it already and are okay with it. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Felinegirl]

I think it's a great idea in your situation. If you're scared you might end up being jealoys after all, you could do something in between first. It doesn't have to be full om sex right away.
For example, go to a club together and each kiss a girl while the other is watching (not necessarily the same girl although that would be ideal). Pay attention to how it makes you feel. If the main answer is "horny", by all means go ahead!

[dragonfly6516]

I'm waiting on a really good close friend to get back to me on her answer. I fully trust her, and she's more into me than him. I'm not even into girls like that at all, but I'm curious about a 3-some. You're not hurting anyone. You might risk hurting yourself if you over think it, or if he is in the slightest the untrustworthy type. But it sounds like you know what you want, so go for it!

[amphet11]

If you are willing to do sexual things to a girl in an ffm threesome, then you are into girls like that, that curiosity makes you bisexual. Unless you plan on not really touching her in any sexual manner during the threesome.

[dragonfly6516]

Yeah, no. I'm not into girls. I could probably kiss her, or even play with her titts, but the idea of anything else is a complete turn off. I can't even get aroused by a guy unless he's the type that could manhandle men, pin me, amd shove it in rough and hard. So, another female literally isn't equipped to even turn me on.

[dragonfly6516]

manhandle ME*** not men. autocorrect

[amphet11]

If you are aroused by kissing her or playing with her tits, then you are bisexual.

[dragonfly6516]

@amphet11 I'm not aroused by it. I'm just willing to do it. Just like I'm not aroused by sucking dick, but I'm also willing to do that for my man. Having my titts played with does nothing for me, so I don't associate that sensation with pleasure.

[amphet11]

You sound sexually amorphous and attracted to actions rather than men, i wouldn't classify you as straight as your arousal is not to anything gender specific. I have a degree in anthropology and cognitive science (shit degree but relevant to this discussion). Though you haven't said that much, certainly not in a verbose manner, so i might be jumping the gun a bit.

[dragonfly6516]

Unless a FEMALE could pin me down, and shove her hard cock into me, I'd never be aroused by her. In what way does that leave you guessing about my sexuality? I didn't masturbate until I was 25 because I was weirded out by the feel of my own lady bits, but I have oral for the first time at 18 and lost my virginity at 20. I'm a submissive through and through, but Dommes have ZERO effect on me because they could never sexually dominate me. This girl is a bi-sexual domme, and she regularly bends to my man, and then gets flustered and pissy about it. I'm only into dominant males.

[dragonfly6516]

*gave oral to a guy at 18

[amphet11]

You still sound sexually amorphous, and a bodybuilder chick with a strap on could pin you down and fuck you hard.

[dragonfly6516]

Not into body builders, or bulging muscles.

[amphet11]

Well just a strong girl with a strap on, with male like mannerisms.

[dragonfly6516]

I really don't get why you want me to be into girls so bad considering you'd never get to watch, if I were. If this threesome goes down, I'm probably not going to be interacting with her so much as both of us pleasing him simultaneously. I've never been sexually attracted to girls, and not being aroused by kissing a girl means that I'm not into her. This also isn't my first threesome. I dated a bi guy who was into one of his friends. I did a threesome with them in hopes of getting them together in bed. I'm in total support of BGLT, it's just not for me.

[dragonfly6516]

And where did you get the idea that my arousal comes from nothing but action? I get aroused when when a male dom handles me roughly, but a female domme could do the exact same thing, and it would just hurt and feel like an assault.

[amphet11]

"And where did you get the idea that my arousal comes from nothing but action? I get aroused when when a male dom handles me roughly" that kinda contradicts itself doesn't it?

[dragonfly6516]

YOU said that you feel I'm sexually amorphous because my arousal comes from nothing. I get arouses by men being rough with me, but not by women doing the exact same thing. If it were just the actions, a woman could do it to me too.

[amphet11]

hhhhhm still doesn't seem like attraction to anything visual.

[dragonfly6516]

Sapieosexual. I'm attracted to intellect. Looks do not matter to me at all whatsoever.

[dragonfly6516]

I still want you to try and explain how a woman cannot arouse me using the exact same taxtics as a man when they are purely physical.

[amphet11]

So then you obviously aren't straight, intelligence is not a gender specific trait, Why are you not attracted to smart girls though? Sapiosexual is colloquial anyway and not officially recognized medically. With the dom stuff and claiming to be sapiosexual, amorphous and undefined is accurate in describing your "sexuality".

[dragonfly6516]

Because I'm not attracted to girls. End if story. Never have been, never will be. But I do have preferences for physical traits, even if it doesn't factor into my selection process. 6'3" fair to pale skin, naturally straight black hair, naturally green eyes, and athletic without being rippled by huge muscles. Ever meet anyone that looks like that without the use of cosmetic enhancement? I haven't. I'm not at all attracted to dark skin, not even tanned white guys. I'm also attracted to neatly shaped facial hair, the "goth" look, tattoos, and piercing. But none of these things get me aroused. Will they make me want to get to know a guy? Yes, because personality plays a part in shaping your look. But attraction with me is strictly mental. This girl I've been talking about is a radiologist. All of my friends are highly intelligent with quick wit.

[Anonymous]

why don't you have one with another guy. of course he gets excited talking about it because he wants to fuck another girl

[Asker]

I don't know, that's just not my fantasy. I guess I should have mentioned that I do like girls as well. I've been with one before so I see it like all 3 of us can enjoy it. And well, the fantasy to me is more about being the pleaser and being dominated.

[accountjustforfun]

Hey, I couldn't ever do it because of my insecurities. But I admire your boldness and confidence. If that's your thing, go for it! Otherwise you'll always wonder

[miamigirl1970]

Opinion from someone who has been there done that. Just make sure the person you choose has NO emotional connection to either of the two of you! That can make for bad news. You want it to be someone you can cut ties with immediately if need be. Other than that, it can make for some great sex to follow with your partner. Best of Luck!

[AustinMan]

Threesomes are emotional minefields. I'd strongly recommend against it.

[RJGraveyTrain]

To each their own, but I keep saying and will continue to say: "Don't share anything you aren't willing to lose."

[madhatters4]

i don't know if you are dooming your relationship. it works for some people it doesn't work for others. but the simple fact is this is someting you've been into for a long time and are with a partner who is into the idea as well. so if you are both into i think the simple question is... is the risk worth the potential reward?

[FemWorship]

Your mind is made up, everything is in place NOW to getRdone, else never knowing forevermore, ergo all that's left is the planning HOW with the least amount of fallout. The best parties are ones where the guest list is well thought out, not the music/food/booze/venue! The gal has to be more than just lustful to you both, she has to have ties to someone/something stronger than repeat performances, someone just curious and clean but agreeable to almost no holds barred, so the whole experience doesn't have to be repeated in order to scratch that itch.

[Dargil]

No. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose.

[COCOCHANEL]

this

[Intraluminal]

I've had threesomes when I was younger. Normally I'd say it won't go down well because it's usually a male-driven fantasy, but since it's more you than him, it will probably go well. That said, if you're not at least bi-curious, it's not going to be anywhere near as much fun. I say go for it. Enjoy!

[Nelsoen]

Do it

[amphet11]

More anecdotal evidence that all women are bisexual

[COCOCHANEL]

it usually leads to disaster

[PiuBravoRagazzo]

My brother says the girl you find has to be uglier than your current girlfriend. If she is hotter that's when problems arise. Also if he spends more time fucking her you will probably pick up on it and get jealous.

To each their own, but you are risking a lot for a fantasy. I find it strange how a woman would want mff instead of mmf

[Asker]

Not an mmf because I want it to be enjoyable for all three of us. I've had sex with a girl before and I really like it although I find I have to really like her as a person. Like she has to be a cool girl I get along with and it would be nice if she's more into me than him. That way we all get something out of it but it takes away the thing where a girl is more into the guy. Of course a full on lesbian wouldn't work either because it would be super noticeable she doesn't want anything but me and wouldn't be fair to him.

[redxiii74]

Lifestyle in BDSM world is tough, girls who can sleep with both girls and men are known as Unicorns. You dude is just horny to fuck strange chicks. When you set it up and your I charge you should do it

[greycadillacs]

It sounds like you're taking the right steps to go about it. And taking your time as well. I say forge ahead.

[Adigelunar]

how can u share your lover?

[bruce3]

no u shouldn't

[GoldCobra]

If you are not comfortable with it. Then don't do it. If you are unsure, flip a coin!

[sexcrazy12]

go for it, as long as you are prepared to see your guy fucking another girl in front of you and with you.

[Asker]

I Think I've prepared as much as I can for it. But when it comes down to it I don't think I'm really going to know until the moment in question

[sexcrazy12]

give it a try. let me know. always fantasized about it as well, never had the opportunity.

[MissSakura]

no u shoulndt

[abc--123]

It depends wether you think you would regret doing it and not enjoying it or regret never even trying

[Asker]

That's the thing. I think it can go a couple of ways. I think I can end up doing it and enjoying it. Or maybe I'll do it and mess up the relationship. Orrr if I don't I feel like it's always going to be in the back of my head like why didn't I just try it.

[abc--123]

Do you think you could watch him enjoy fucking another girl? If so then go for it. If there is the slightest chance of jealousy then best to avoid it