Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Lost my virginity and feel awful?

So I'm a 17 year old girl and about an hour ago i lost my virginity to my 16 year old non virgin boyfriend. We have only been together since last Friday but were seeing each other previous to that. I've been used times before him for sexual things so im a rlly insecure person. Last Friday we both got really drunk at a party and we did stuff. After I said to him i dont want you to fuck me over which he got annoyed at and was saying everyone says he's just using them for sex and he's sick of it. I then started crying and saying i always get fucked over and he was being so cute, cuddling me and wiping my tears and saying he gets moody but he doesn't mean it and that he's going to look after me and wants to hurt those boys who hurt me etc. then asked me out. He came round to mine after collage today and we did everything except sex and then went up to eat a meal with my family. After we went back to my room and he asked if i wanted to have sex and i said we can try (idk in the moment i felt like i wanted to). We then continued to have a sex for a little bit and it kinda felt really sore and numb, not pleasurable at all. His parent then came to pick him up so we had to stop and he then asked if i was okay and i said yeah. He messaged me straight away when he left but now I feel so awful and just cry loads. It just feels so weird im not a virgin and i have noone to tell this too as my friends will be horrible about it. I guess i felt really pressured to do it because all of my friends bar one has and i was feeling really horny all the time but now I've done it i feel awful. My friends all bully me because he's younger and make jokes about us and it really upsets me and at lunch at school today they were joking saying if you loose your v to him tonight dont tell us because we will rip you to shreds and started laughing. I dont know what to do im so scared he's going to fuck me over now i feel so used and i have noone to talk to it about i dont know what to do :(
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • You are scared that he's going to hurt you but you have no actual indication whether that will be the case or not yet. Your fears are just that, fears. They are not yet based in reality. Also, you say that you feel used and yet you have not indicated that he used you or forced you in any way. You were complicit in what happened, you agreed to sex. It's important to make that distinction so that you remember you were in control. This didn't just happen, you contributed to it happening. It's not fair to blame him for this unless you are saying that he pressured you.

    You have had sex, perhaps wasn't as you wanted and perhaps in hindsight you wish that you hadn't but you have. There is no sense in beating yourself up about this, it won't turn back time and it won't help you feel any better. It would be nice to think that everyone's first time is ideal but it really isn't. A lot of the time it is unplanned and awkward and often regrettable. You are not alone with that.

    What you need to do now is to pick yourself up and stop thinking that it's the end of the world because it really isn't. You are still the same person that you were yesterday. Sex doesn't define you.

    • Thank you, that was exactly what I needed to hear I really appreciate it

  • It sounds to me like you need some new friends. And possibly a new boy friend... TBD. Perhaps you should have waited or found an older, respectable gentleman to usher you into your sexual awakening. My heart goes out to you; nobody should be belittled and abused for being who they are. THIS is why many young ladies go for the older guys.

    Sex takes some practice and your "boyfriend" should have been more patient and understanding IF he truly cares about you. I hope he took the time to get your juices flowing and just didn't jump right in. I'm sorry for your experience. Be well little sister. I'm here if you ever need a vent or talk.

    • Thank you so much, you are so right I am so confused about everything as I really like him just not as much as I've liked other guys, I agree I don't think he respects me that much 😞 He did take time for me to be into tbf to him before we had sex. Thank you for your help and advice I really appreciate it 😊

    • You're welcome! Good luck!

Most Helpful Girls

  • Listen carefully. This is important.

    Nothing has changed. Yes you had sex, but that's it. You didn't lose anything, and you still have all your value as a person. You have nothing to be ashamed about. If he ends up screwing you over, then he's a douche and that isn't your problem. You're fine; you're still the same girl who was a virgin a couple hours ago. Chin up.

    If you're truthfully afraid of what your friends will think, you probably need new friends. Good friends are supposed to be there for you, not embarrass you.

    In the future, just make sure you use protection (you didn't mention it this time, so maybe you did, idk). And remember that sex is a vulnerable thing, so it's best to only have it with someone you trust. Take a warm bath and feel better!

    • Thank you that really helped, I think I just freaked out after loads so going to just sleep on it. Protection wasn't used no so next time I'll make sure it is, thanks for helping me :)

  • The fact you lost your virginity doesn't make you less or turns you into somebody else, you were just driven by the moment and that's okay, it can happen to anyone, we are all humans!
    There's nothing to be ashamed of, cheer up :)

    • Thank you, I really appreciate it :)

  • Sex is t great the first few times. Just be safe and take it at your own pace. Virginity is not that big of a deal, you'll realize that as you get older.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Do you feel bad when you watch porn sometimes?
If you recognised the person the other side of a gloryhole would you tell them?
Guy I'm with is not playing with my boobs. What should I do?
Is corn the issue?

What Girls & Guys Said

1 5

  • Don't make a big problem out of this ;)
    Cheer up *hug*

  • What makes you so sure that he will "fuck you over" like everyone else? If staying with the person who took your virginity is important to you, all you need to do is try extra hard to make it work between you two.

    If you let your (unwarranted) fears consume you, and your boyfriend catches on to your distrust towards him, you will ruin your chances.

    • Thank you I think I needed to hear that, it's just hard to be trusting again after having trust broken 4 times by guys haha, I appreciate your help 😊

    • I get that. Just remember that everyone is different. Make sure you give him a fair chance. no problem :)

  • Take it easy. This doesn't have to be a bad thing.

  • If enjoyment was the problem, try foreplay. If the problem was that you feel ashamed, you shouldn't have done it. However, sex doesn't define you. How you act after now is what will define you

  • I was 17 too.

  • You have some shitty friends for bullying and joking on you. If you have a brother or real friend tell them to kick their asses. You were careless for having sex with him respect yourself more ! ANyway, you can't turn time back. From now on respect yourself more and don't fuck any guy, don't be a slut that nobody respects and everyone wants to fuck only your body despite your personality

Latest Questions

If youq could walk around in public naked, would you?
My boyfriend feels bad the sex wasn't that great, is he going to recover?
He goes soft with me?
Women, if you were men would you care about women's body count?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > Lost my virginity and feel awful?