It was supposed to be just sex but we let ourselves fall in love. What to do now?

[Anonymous]

Year and half ago I met a guy through friends. He was just broken up with his girlfriend and I was single and not looking for anything.
We went out a few times and our intentions were clear. We told each other how attracted we were to each other and we had sex a few times. I didn't want anything else than this and was certain that he felt the same way. In the meantime we started talking on more less regular basis and it was just fun laughing and sharing stuff with him.
One day him and his girlfriend got back together but him and I stayed in touch. Yes, we continued having sex once a while and kept talking and emailing every single day. This was year and a half ago. About 3 months ago he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too.
Ever since that he tells me he loves me all the time. He is still with his girlfriend and from what I hear from people it's not great between them.
I feel horrible about this whole thing and thought so many times about walking away but I just can't.
I do love him very much and just can't imagine being without him. What should I do?

[Felinegirl]

1. Does his girlfriend know and approve of your sexual relationship? If not, it's cheating which isn't completely okay. Not that that helps you right now.

2. Does he love you more than his girlfriend and would you like being with him? If that's the case, he should probably leave her for you. It's not fair towards her either.

3. If she doesn't know/approve of your sexual relationship and that's one of the reasons you feel bad, it might be a good idea to stop having sex with him. That might also make him realise where his priorities are.

[juniorsrosie]

The fact he hasn't left his girlfriend for you shows that he's not really in love with you...
Do yourself a favor and stop hooking up with him while they're dating. How would you feel if you're SO who is supposed to be only yours hooked up with other girls?

Even if they are having problems, it's not your business. Do yourself a favor and go out on dates with other guys, try to move on. Don't waste your life away pining for a guy who chose someone else over you

[ladyfirebird]

This is the moment where the guy should 'man up' and tell his girlfriend what's been going on between you two. And that there has been a change of heart, sure she might be hurt once she knows... but it's best to let her know now rather than she find out by walking-in/finding you two together in more intimate moments. Trust me, it's better if that guy tells his girlfriend now -- there will be drama, but not as much.

[XRabbitHeartX]

If he loved you, he wouldn't be calling another girl his girlfriend and be in a relationship with someone else. That is not love, Never has been and never will. Don't fool yourself into thinking that he is actually serious about you. Besides, he's a cheater. He's a terrible human being and yet you are in love with a guy who is willing to CHEAT on his girlfriend many many times..

[Tdieseler]

There is a difference between love and lust... and lust is more often and easier to maintain than love. YOU are in lust darling. You need to keep your emotions out of it. You either wanna fuck him or not...
i mean, you've already seen he's a cheater, is that what YOU want? i mean, you love him right? how would you like to know that while you are with him, he's porking another girl on the side... unless you like cheaters.
your fucking days are over, leave him alone... i mean unless you wanna be the "other" woman, then im all for that :)

[RasmusAiken]

It's not your move. It's his move now. He has to choose between you and her.

[1GuyOpinion]

So he tell you he loves you but he still with his girlfriend.

He fucking both girls. Wow he strike quite a deal.

[WalterRadio]

Polyamory should not be as taboo as people make it out to be.

[JohnDoe3000]

He's using you. If he really loved you he would have broken up with the other girl long ago.

[Intraluminal]

First stop sleeping with him. Second tell him to leave his girlfriend thris go out as boyfriend girlfriend.

[jman46241]

You are backup in a sense.. You need to let him go, you have done almost as much wrong as he has.

[carmeCC]

i think you must tell toy him eveyrhting you feel about him and if he really "lvoes you" would leave his girlfriend, because if he doesn't know what he wants and you're there in front of him, he doesn't want you...

[bloodmountain1990]

Sounds like your his back up plan, not a good spot to be in.

[Lithium65]

he has to choose.
You have to find out why he has a girlfriend if he loves you

[lumberman9]

End it now

[scooogy]

maybe have sex with other people for some time

[PavanMGowda]

Your situation is complicated.

I don't know if you guys are truly in love with each other. You gotta find that out yourselves. But what you're doing is clearly wrong. If you both love each other then talk through this and make him end his current relationship.

[Anonymous]

Wow I guess wait "til he eventually leaves her" I guess you don't value yourself enough. Why would you sleep with a man who is in a relationship? Why would u put yourself in a predicament like that? How old are you. You're almost 30 get it together. Why are u sneaking around with a guy be with someone who will only commit to u. He probably fucks her too and tell u and her lies he might even have a third girl. Stop ignoring the red flags

[Anonymous]

The answer is quite simple, but the actions taken to get there may be complex.
Be with him.

[Anonymous]

Ask him to break up with his girlfriend so you two can be together. You two were together first, so your relationship should have priority.

[Anonymous]

Just know that... If he is cheating on his girl with you... he WILL cheat on you with another girl.

[Anonymous]

Tell him if he wants you he has to end things with his girlfriend